Hi Mindy...I'm on the other side of the country, but I'm also 36 years old, I have a almost 4 year old daughter and a 17 month old son and have similar feelings. My husband is away for the year for deployment, so I have the 2 kids on my own, and I'm already outnumbered day to day, and it's tough, but I STILL think about a 3rd...ALL THE TIME! We had agreed to 2 kids (actually we started our marriage never planning to have kids, but changed our minds and I fell in love with being a mom!). After my son was born, I just could not imagine NOT having more. I shed many hormonal tears thinking I'd never have more kids. My husband is even happy to have a 3rd, but logically and logistically 2 just makes sense for our family. I have a list of "cons" a mile long, but my heart keeps coming back to "a bigger family"...usually when both of my kids are sleeping! LOL (When they're awake, I think, "HELL NO!") Honestly though, one "pro" that keeps coming up, that was previously a "con" is my age. I too would be at least 37 if we had another. I now think of my age in this way...chances are I will be gone out of their lives before kids with younger moms. If I provide more siblings for them, at least they will have each other even if they don't have me and Dh around. Now..my son (second child) is VERY challenging and even at 17 months rarely sleeps thru the night, is very clingy, had silent reflux, is a very picky eater, etc. I wonder what in the world I'm even thinking when it comes to more kids...I haven't slept in a few years, so I'm pleading insanity by sleep deprivation =0)
When I've asked a similar question in the past, after reading the responses, I realized that what I was really looking for was someone (actually a lot of someones) to give me the green light...to tell me DO IT DO IT DO IT! To convince me it was a great idea when logically...well...I remember reading the "don't do it" comments and my heart would sink. I keep waiting for the "obsession" of another child, that began just after my son was born, to go away for good (it goes fleetingly, but honestly not a day goes by that a thought doesn't pop into my head). I cherish my children. I love them more than anything. They often make me CRAZY, but I love being a mom. I do love the baby stages and I DO look ahead to years down the road and see more kids at the dinner table, more grown children, etc., so I've looked into my heart to make sure I don't just want a "baby".
I've always been a "logical" person, so this decision is so amazingly difficult for me...logic says no, my heart says yes...
Guess we have to wait and see which one wins...
Hope it helped to know there are others on the fence with you! =0)