Tired of Nursing, but Cannot Get 22 Month Old to Stop.

I just want to add that there are kind and gentle ways to do this. Talking with a Le Leche League leader would be a good start. Good luck!

When I weaned my 15 month old I just started setting expectations that nursing was going to stop in 1 month. We were at JUST at night as well as far as frequency. But each night I just talked about how nice this was but that she was a big girl and that we were going to stop in 3 weeks etc. Then when it was down to the last few days we just counted the days and then the last night said that it was the last night and then then next didn't even offer and it wasn't an issue. I didn't change anything else in her bedtime routine, she still got 3 stories, held/rocked but not nursed. I did time it so the day she turned 15 months she was done. Maybe you could do something like that and it could time with his birthday or birthday party or something and then he gets a special present for his birthday instead since he is such a big boy and that only babies need to be nursed etc. I know that this can be a challenging time, but I truly believe that setting appropriate expectations and then sticking to them makes any transition easier...leaving the park, eating dinner, weaning etc.
Wishing you all the best with your little guy.
K.

H.,

I am currently in this position. My daughter is 32 months. She nurses less as we go and for awhile I was getting a bit frustrated because the cut down is different for her than for my others. The others would cut down in frequency but stay just as long when they did nurse. This little one wants to nurse just as frequently but only stays for a moment on each side.

Take notice of that...is he nurse for a shorter amount of time??? That Counts!!

Remember it IS ok to nurse this long if you want. I know that people make comments but they can just shut the heck up, it isn't any of their business.

One good thing to do is to fill up the belly before you nurse prior to him asking...get ANY kind of treat(ok, maybe not ANY, but something he likes) chocolate or strawberry milk, or juice or some kind of food he'll eat...before putting him down. He won't nurse as long.

One thing I do is pay close attention to the rhythm of my wee one's suck...if she's just kinda hanging out I'll tell her, "ok, done" and switch sides and do the same thing...if she's done for real she'll stop and I'll play with her a bit, tickle and nibble on her.

If Daddy's available have HIM do bed time and you "leave the house" until your wee one is asleep. Until baby gets used to going to sleep without you. Oh wait, I think you said he works then, huh? Maybe this point will be helpful later or to someone else.

Don't worry, you're not alone in nursing your baby longer than the average American. I PROMISE he won't be nursing when he's five!!!

OH, and be VERY CAREFUL about going cold turkey. You may not think you're actually producing much but then find in a day of not emptying your breasts that you have clogged ducts for which the best cure is increase breastfeeding. Do a slow reduction to avoid clogged ducts and mastitis because THEY SUCK!!! (lol...no pun intended)

Explain to him that you are going to set a timer. And that when the timer goes off no more nursing just cuddling with one specific special new book. Then bed.

Once he is used to it, make the timer shorter and shorter each night. Every time he successfully survives a shortened time and goes to sleep on his own, buy him a new special book! Make sure you only read the special books when NOT nursing. Then when ready explain that he can have the whole time for cuddling and reading if he wants. But you'll probably have to wait till he is down to a minute or less of nursing. he will get over it, but it will take consistency and time on your part to slowly break the habit and replace it with cuddle book time with mom (all to his self).

You can try some of the weaning supplements that are supposed to lessen the supply and make the milk not taste as good.

The other thing is that since he hasn't learned to soothe himself, there will be crying the first few nights. Hopefully your husband is supportive, and that your other kids can understand. I would talk to your husband and have him pick the days (about 3 in a row), we started Thursday night so that we had the weekend, and know that there will be some crying and agree that he will deal with it. Also, talk to your other kids and let them know what is going on, and that they are going to have to be understanding while your son goes through this. I also tried to keep my son quiet so my husband could sleep, but I got to the point that he really needed to learn to put himself down so that I could sleep.
The crying it out will be hard - mainly on you, but you will get through it, and he will be a better sleeper because of it.

He is using nursing like a pacifier. You need to set up a time around when your husband is off, get him ear plugs, over a weekend, holiday break or whatever and just go cold turkey. He is almost 2, he doesn't need it from a nutritional standpoint and maybe set up a chart for rewards. He is old enough to know if he does this he can get this...meaning do a star for every night he goes to sleep like a big boy alone WITHOUT nursing. Then after a weeks worth of stars a surprise out or something.
It has to be you standing tough if you want it to stop, otherwise you will have a fight. Just tell him "no more milk" and give kisses and hugs and love and walk out. I would work with your husband about sleep times, getting him ear plugs or whatever if you really want this, it is going to take effort and not be something that happens in a night. I think every child is different and if nursing is used as a soother kids get dependent and just like anything, pacifier, bottle or whatever it is harder to break the older they get. Hugs and good luck.

Lol, I thought I had the longest nursing record in the history of nursing moms. If you would normally give a bottle until at least 24 months, I was told by my pediatrician and a girlfriend who nursed both of her boys, then you may expect to nurse until at least 24 months when you haven't supplemented breastfeeding with bottle feeding. My daughter wouldn't even touch a bottle and there were times that I felt like a hostage, lol. I went 27 months! In the later months, it was mostly at night and for comfort. I weaned her by first preparing her. We were converting her room to a "big girl's" room, new bed, etc. I told her when her room was completed and she got her big girl bed, no more "nipping". We stopped cold turkey. My advice is to set a specific date, associated it with something, i.e., his 2nd birthday, and then stick to your word, maintain credibility. He'll be fine and you will be "free"! Good luck!

First of all, congratulations on nursing your son for so long. That is great and is so nice for his development. You sound like you are ready to move on now...so start the transition and do it. With all steps in parenting, it seems like it will be really tough, but in the end it is not so bad. I just went through this with my 18 month old son and it was hard and emotional, but I was ready... and now feel great and free.

I set a goal to stop by around his 18 month birthday and my birthday. It was very gradual and took about 2 months total. Once I got down to only 1 time per day I did this for a few weeks. Then I started to shorten the time he nursed this one time per day. 5 minutes each side, then 4, then 3... so on. Then my supply really dropped and so did his interest (which helped). Then the last week, he would nurse one morning for just a minute or so, then not request to nurse for a few days. This continued for a week and then he did not nurse for 5 days straight. It has now been about 2 or 3 weeks since he has wanted to latch on. He does still ask or talk about it every so often. When this happens, I just tell him "Nu Nu" (as he calls it) is all gone and we said bye-bye to the the "Nu Nu". He understands all gone and bye-bye so this seems to make sense to him. I also offer juice or chocolate milk or something yummy and special sometimes to distract him from it. This seems to have been a really gentle, healthy way to wean. No cold turkey weekend away or making my milk or breasts taste funny. That just does not seem natural or normal to me. I really enjoyed my time nursing my son and now look forward to this next stage in life together... all is well!! Good luck and let me know if you need any more advice.

Like one other mom mentioned, decide on a bedtime routine to replace the nursing, like a story then being held until going to sleep.

I have 2 daughters and my third was a boy also and I do believe boys just love to nurse longer! At 20 mos I decided I was tired but we chose not to have him cry it out. I had a pediatrician recommend putting something on my nipple before he started nursing that he didn't like. I chose ketchup. When he wanted to nurse I would say 'it's icky, yuck!' then he would latch on and quickly pull away. This only took a couple of days and he did not want it. I made sure to give him lots of love and security to replace it. Good luck! ps--He still HATES ketchup. :)

Afternoon H.,
I am glad I wasn't the only one that had an issue with a child wanting to nurse so long. My daughter who is now 7 nursed until she was just about 3. My husband by that time was my ex husband and I didn't have to worry about the house being disturbed. First start out slowly but going to every other night, then just 2 or 3 nights and so on. Offer your husband some great ear plugs. Csn get those anywhere. Just the cheap foam ones. Let your son cry it out. You might lay with him for a little while and find a soothing/calming technique. That may be a few days of trial and error, but it will pay off. This whole weaning process should take about a month. I do wish you the best of luck!!
E.

My daughter nursed at bedtime until the eve of her second birthday. She showed NO interest in stopping until then - literally that night when she got out of the bath and asked for a book. I just took advantage of the opportunity. The couple months before I always offered a book, but she always said no - she wanted to nurse. I spent a fair amount of energy stressing out about how to wean her because I wanted her to choose when, but I too was ready to stop. The "don't offer - don't refuse" approach seemed to work for me. Is there anything else your son enjoys that helps him quiet down? Keep offering it - he might just take you up on it. Good luck.

I have a friend who ended up taking a weekend trip away to end nursing. It worked well for them. Do you have grandparents or someone willing to take the kids and you and your husband can go away. You just have to be gone long enough to dry up. You might also try some of the sleep solution books and see what they say. I haven't read it, but the No Cry Sleep book seems to be really liked by other moms here. GL!

Hi H. - congratulations on being able to nurse for so long. It's going to be a little emotional for both of you but you just need to set a date and then move on from there. Don't hype it too much so that he gets anxious about it. You'll just need to say it simply in a way he understands just like you would a binky or a bottle. Since you are all part of the family, your husband is going to have to be a little flexible with the crying for a few nights. With a lot of reassurance, a lovey, and NO backtracking your son should be able to make the transition smoothly, just like mine did.

Good luck to you!

I recommend looking at www.kellymom.com for weaning advice. I think the best tip anyone here posted was setting a timer and just nursing less and less each night. You may also want to try doing your normal bedtime routine, but instead of nursing give him a sippy cup of water while you read him a story. Good luck!

read about a situation like this in a baby magazine. Thats mom's solution... go away for the weekend without the baby. Just you and your husband. Have grandma or aunt or a friend come watch the kids at your house and go away for the weekend. When you get back, explain to your toddler that you no longer have milk for him... he'll understand, even if he doesn't like it. Good luck!

I think you have gotten excellent advice, but I just wanted to add that you and your husband just have to agree on the stop date and understand that there might be a few days of crying, so that he will support you around this and not complain. The crying will stop soon. Your husband has to support your son to make this transition to the next stage of his development too.

You can get information about how to approach this from La Leche League. They have tons of gentle weaning techniques like the previous two. They do not recommend the weekend trips, as it can be very harmful to the trust you have with your baby. You can find a meeting or their 1-800 number, or email a help form request, or post your question on their weaning forum at www.llli.org. Good luck and great job nursing for 22 months!

:)
H.

Hi H.,
I'm no expert here but my son gave up nursing way before my daughter did so I wouldn't necessarily say boys hang on longer. I do have a thought I hope you will consider. I think the little guy simply wants to be with mama and this is a good way to get his time in. Your two girls are quite a bit older then he is so there's probably not much bonding going on between the three of them. If you can take the time that you would normally nurse him and spend it with him by cuddling, tickling, reading books, etc. I think you'll find that he begins to lose interest in the nursing part and simply enjoys his mama time. I hope that works out for you. God Bless, L.

I SO FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!! My 14 month old boy is the same way and I fear I will still be nursing by the time he is 22 months old. Good for you for doing it so long. You just get the point where you feel so suffocated!!! He has been sick with the flu for over a week and is constantly wanting the breast for comfort ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT! No sleep for me and I can't do anything else during the day. I know it is the best thing for him, but you need to feel like a woman again.. I wish you the best and PLEASE share any success that you have with others going through the same thing.. You are not alone. Good luck to you!!!!