The Final Wean

I guess I never thought about it much. We moved the feedings away from the bed time to meal times around 12 months. So if you need to do that...do that first. So like dinner is at 5 and she has milk or water then. then feed her at six not in her room and start the bed time routine. Eventually drop the amount you feed her later on until she is drinking her last drink with dinner and maybe only a sip from a little cup afer brushing teeth. our routine has and still starts around 6 pm. we clean up toys, go upstairs, bath or wash face and feet with a cloth if not too dirty, brush teeth, read books in the hall (we have our book shleves there and just sit there). Then we go to the bedroom, get in bed with a low or no light on. We talked at that age for about ten minutes but have reduced that as I have two kids in preschool now and that took too long. Now it is about two minutes each. sometimes we say a prayer or gratitude. we start; "what was your favorite fun today?" about that age. this all helps build vocabulary and skills needed for early reading. Then it is a song with me standing up at the door and I crack the door and that is it. my oldest does pop out of bed and we use the back to bed tchniques. but my younger one doesn't, goes right to sleep. He has a ocean sounds with a 30 minute timer he listens to and my daughter prefers a classical music CD on occassion.

Hi H.,
Well, you have a lot of good advice already, so I'll just add a quick bit. I am actually going through the same process right now, weaning my 23 month old daughter. I started the weaning process several months ago, but then she went through a big teething and we traveled for about a month, and before I knew it we were back to nursing 4-5 times a day! So now I am down to just once at bed-time once every 3 nights. After this week I'll try to make it just twice in the whole week, and then I guess we'll be done.

What has worked for me is trying to get more whole milk into her throughout the day, but especially before bed-time. I have been putting strawberry syrup in it which she really likes, and we call it "pinky milk." We read stories before bed, and she drinks her pinky milk (instead of nursing) and then I put her to bed with the milk. It is always gone in the morning, so I think she just drinks it until she gets sleepy.

My husband is also away many evenings, so it is always me who puts her to bed. I hope that you will have success! Let us know how it goes!
Take care,
M.

It's probably the sucking that she wants more than the milk. Since she is using pacifiers anyway, let her suck on one during the bedtime routine instead of giving her the breast. Once she is used to that, you can decide how soon you want to get rid of the pacifier, but take it one step at a time.

I just replaced the final feeding with a sippy of whole milk (did it at the same time in the routine as the breastfeeding). I always had to initiate the weaning, too & my kids took to the milk with no problem. The only hurdle with one of them was teaching her to drink from a sippy. Once she figured it out, it was no problem. The other method I have heard is to feed her for one minute fewer each day until she's down to just a minute or two & then go cold turkey. Just keep the rest of the bedtime routine consistent & skip the feeding part. Good luck!

If you can get someone else to get your daughter to bed for two nights in a row you should be fine...this is what we did with our son, and it was very peaceful. We did not replace the nursing with milk, but he had revolted against milk for a nursing when I first tried to wean him. I would also explain to him that you are done nursing, you will be amazed at his understanding even at 19 months.

I weaned my daughter at 16 months, she was actually down to two feedings at that point. One before bed and 1 between 4-6 AM. What I did with her was explain to her that she was a big girl (She could understand me at this age, I don't know if that's always the case), and didn't need it anymore, when she showed me she wanted it before bed time, I would just turn her around. We started a different bed time routine in which I would cuddle with her and sing to her for a little bit and then put her in her bed. She was okay with that. The one between 4-6 she stopped on her own when we stopped the bed time one. Hope that helps

H.,

We started putting an extra activity between nursing and bedtime. My oldest daughter liked books, so after she nursed, we would read a book or two, then put her down to sleep. My younger daughter likes to be rocked, so after she nurses, we rock her with her favorite stuffed animal and blankie and her water cup. Once we broke the connection between nursing and sleeping, it was easy enough when they were ready to wean.

Since your daughter is a little older, you can talk to her about the weaning. You might be surprised at what she can understand! One mom I talked to put Band-Aids on her nipples and told her little one that her milkies were broken. When my oldest was ready to wean and we were down to one short feed a day, I went out of town. When I got back in town, I told her I left my milk in Tenessee. She was fine with it. Maybe if she has something special that she would like, you could get her a "big girl" toy when you wean. Maybe she could have a special doll or stuffed animal, and instead of nursing you guys could rock or cuddle with the stuffed animal instead.
It might help to stay out of the regular nursing spots. If you usually nurse on the couch before bedtime, read a book at bedtime on your bed or somewhere else.

Just remember that when she weans, she will probably need a lot of extra attention and cuddling to replace the snuggling she got when she nursed.

Best of luck,
S.

We just eliminated the feeding and had no problem. You might try some yogurt or barely chocolate milk if she doesn't want give it up totally. I hope it goes well. GL!

We recently weaned our 27 month old, and had a conversation with our daughter about how Mommy's nu-nus were sore (due to being pregnant) and she couldn't nurse anymore. She then got to go to the toy store and pick out any toy she wanted. Whenever she asks, we remind her about my sore breasts, and that she has a toy that she can play with now, because she is such a big girl. Anyway, she was used to nursing at 5 am and sleeping in until 7. We had 2-3 weeks of her waking up at 5 unable to get back to sleep. The first two or three mornings were terrible--lots of me holding her while she cried and screamed and threw fits--and I just had to sit there calmly and let her cry while being there to attemt to comfort however I could. Yuck. Bedtime might be tough for awhile--although for us beditme was fine, just that early morning feeding was tough. We offered a bottle of milk that we added a little protein powder to, and called a "milk shake." She enjoyed the milk shake, and was fine drinking a little of that and/or a little water before bedtime instead of nursing.

Remember this is a big change for both of you, and it might be rough for a little while. But, if you are consistent, she will adjust and things will even out. Good luck!

I highly recommend the books "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" and "How Weaning Happens," both published by La Leche League. You could find them online or borrow them for free from your local LLL group. Neither is the same old re-hash of ideas you've read elsewhere, and both are packed with gentle, respectful ideas. I found them both incredibly useful when we were going through the weaning process. Bargaining ("no nursing until the sun comes up"--for night weaning)and limiting the amount of time ("you can nurse while I sing Eensy Weensy Spider, but then you have to let go") worked well for me and my last toddler.
I'd just remind you that you must wean TO something to replace that nursing. Maybe it's books or snugles or a snack, but if you look at weaning as outgrowing one way to meet needs and growing into another way, I think it will help you think of new ways to meet her needs to be close to you.
Best wishes!

what we did with our second child was to go out for something fun that would be past his bedtime. he was 15 months old. we went to a basketball game in the city. he was having so much fun with the game, train ride, grandparents and cousins, etc. that he didn't even ask to breastfeed. i brought along a nuby cup (soft mouthpiece) of milk just in case, but he was too excited to even drink that. then he fell asleep quickly in the car. the next day i praised him for being such a big boy and that night at bedtime i just gave him another nuby cup of milk at story time. he indicated a little that he wanted to nurse, but i just told him his belly was full and he didn't need it, reminding him that he did just fine without it the night before. i was amazed at how well it all worked! i don't know how much of that is due to his personality, but it's worth a try with your daughter.

I have a 19 month old too... we just kept offering him the sippy cup. He was in love with his bottle. So I'm sure it's different than weaning from nursing, but one day he just took the cup. I also think if you don't mind the nursing at night, then don't worry about it too much yet. If it's working, let it be. She won't nurse forever. But if you need to and want to wean, then I'm sure lots of people will have good ideas on here. I don't know if you'd like to wean her to a bottle of warm water? That's just another idea. Good luck!