Timing Is a Problem

Updated on August 09, 2011
M.I. asks from Bloomfield, NJ
4 answers

Hi mamas. Suggestions please.
1) Background - I work full time in NYC (live in Bloomfield, NJ) - I try to be on a 7:15am bus to get into work and can usually get home around 5:15pm (I leave early). My husband travels for work a third of the year, but works from home when not traveling. Our wonderful little boy is 2.5 and has been going to an amazing day care 5 days a week all day from when he was 3 months old. He was never a late sleeper (ever!!) - which i kind of liked bc I got to spend some not rushed time with him before having to leave for work. At daycare he takes around a 2 hour nap every day - always has. Lately he has been pushing/fighting dinnertime, bath, bedtime, but not getting crazy OT and behaving really well late in the day - so I have let him push the bedtime back a bit to like 7:45 / 8pm...but just recently (my husband is THANKING the powers that be) he has been sleeping later too (this morning he woke up at 7:40am!). We tried a later bedtime a month ago and he'd still wake up at 5:40am...so this sleeping late is new to us. I want him to get all the rest he needs so i don't want to wake him up, but I was really late to work. I could have just let my husband do the whole morning with him - but, I really wanted to be there and see him before I had to leave for the day. We are going to try to have him in bed at 7:15 tonight, but he'll most assuredly push and fight the routine - esp since now he's used to going to bed later. Anyway - suggestions? Addendum - when my husband starts travel again, I won't be able to have him home until 6pm-ish and it's really almost impossible to get him to bed any earlier than 7:30pm with having to do dinner, bath, books and bed - which has been our routine since day one. Argh! Rushing through everything when all you want to do is spend som QT and not be rushed is almost impossible as well. Frustrated.

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More Answers

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S.T.

answers from New York on

Taht's when I went to less than full-time and began a flexible works schedule. My employer pays me less, and i gain flexibility. To make it a win for my employer I have always accepted disproportionately less money - but in the long run the time with my children has been priceless. You only get this one shot with your child. When he's a teenager (which happens really really quickly) you'll wonder where the time went and you'll wistfully look back at those toddler mornings.

I've worked in a highly professional field for all my years and made sure my employer found that my less than full time proposition was worth it to them - and I've done this now for 12 years with 3 different companies. You'll be surprized at how flexible they might be.

Good luck!!!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Y.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't have any suggestions...but I know how you feel.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Since your husband travels part of the year you need to consider a routine that will fit everyone. When hubby is gone it will be you and your son.

It's hard to establish a new routine but it is nice once it is in place. Of course he is going to push to get his way of staying up later just don't give in or you will regret it later. I had to get up earlier in the morning in order to get the things done I wanted before my son got up. Once he got up it was all about him and getting out the door on time to go to the daycare center and me to work.

Try to make things in the crockpot or cook a lot on the weekends that you can reheat during the week so that you can spend a little extra time with him. The bedtime of 7:30 isn't too bad as you get a little time to yourself in the evening.

Yes, I remember commuting in and out of NYC for school many years ago and definitely had to be up by 5:30 am to catch the bus.

The other S.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

right around 3, kids start "growing up" more...some kids don't take naps anymore...but still need the sleep....

It's a toss up - being there to spend time with him or letting your husband deal...I think in the future - leave a note for your son telling him that you are sad that you missed him but you will be excited to see him when you get home and your husband will read it to him...then he can know you were thinking of him?

Hope this helps!!!

2 moms found this helpful
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