Time to Wean??? - Spartanburg,SC

With the problems you have had? No, you are not terrible. You being relaxed and calm are much more important, and I think you will feel better and enjoy everything more. Do what is best for you, baby needs a happy relaxed mom, and you will also be working and caring for baby.

You are not selfish at all. You're the mom you decide!! You're not JUST a mom! Don't forget that!

I believe in breastfeeding when it is best for both mother and child.

What I found, though, is that my son's issues with foods I ate while breastfeeding decreased with time beginning around 12 weeks. If you think you can hang in a couple of weeks and see if it gets better, that's what I'd personally recommend--but I also don't think not breastfeeding should be held against any mother. Not from others--and not from she herself.

Best of luck to you!

First let me say that I'm very impressed that you've kept with breastfeeding so long! Most women who experience trouble like that quit nursing almost immediately. Way to go!

Now, of course you know breastfeeding is best. You wouldn't have this dilemma if you didn't know that. Because of that & your obvious determination to make it work, I think you should do everything you can to continue breastfeeding, not only for the health benefits, but for the inevitable bond it creates between mother & baby, especially since you're going back to work. You've made it this far; it usually only gets better as you go along. And as another mother said, it's such a short time in your life, comparatively speaking.

My daughter also had a milk allergy and I ate pizza with no cheese and used rice milk in everything for nearly half her first year. The good news is, once babies get old enough to eat solid foods, most of them start to grow out of that allergy & are able to digest dairy again. Again, it seems like a long time not to enjoy your favorite foods, but it goes by so quickly.

With that said, however, you are understandably miserable, and that can affect your milk supply, as well as the ability to bond with your baby. I don't think you should make parenting choices (notice I said choices; I'm not addressing things that are indisputable like buckling a baby in a carseat) that cause resentment of your child. I say this from experience. A resentful, angry mother is not a good mother.

I encourage you to try it for a while after you go back to work. Each week, set a goal to get through one more week. Assess yourself, your baby, and the situation as you go and try to make the best choice for BOTH of you.

Good luck & best wishes!
A.

P.

This is such a sensitive topic for everyone but I think you need to do what is right for you and your baby! Don't feel like you have to be miserable to "do what is best". I have 2 children the first I was unable to breastfeed at all and the 2nd I really really tried but was so miserable and almost resentful because of the pain and the fact that ALL I was doing was nursing her. I cried at each feeding. Finally I made the (very hard) decision to switch to formula. I have never been more happy with my decision. I know all the info says that BF baby are heathier--will to that I do have to disagree both my children are extremely healthy. Don't let anyone pressure you into making a decision you will not be happy with. Go with your gut and your heart--only YOU know what is best for your family!

Good luck to you!

I would wean her, and put her on formula. Taking care of ones physical and mental health is not being selfish., so stop being so hard on yourself, and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Good luck.

I dont think that you are a terrible and selfish mom. Yes breast is best ( I breast fed my daugher for a full year, and then only did it at night for about another 11 months) but if it is causing your baby to lose weight and you to have open wounds then by all means switch to the hypoallergenic milk. but in the long run, your baby will be gaining weight and you wont have the sores. But breastfeeding helps you lose weigh quicker, but if your baby isnt feeding enough to gain weight then that is more important. So switch and move on. You both will benefit from it. hope this helped.

I was all for breastfeeding until my first was born. He was born underweight and continued to loose weight despite my best breastfeeding efforts. Inverted nipples made the whole thing worse. I started pumping and formula and things were great. After 4 weeks I had to go back to work so I tried to pump at work, that was not as glamorous as I thought either. Despite the picture that I carried to remind me that it was all worth it, formula one over and he turned out just fine. It worked the same way for the other 2! I don't know the exact problem you face, but I can tell you that not all formulas are the same. Carnation Very Best formula uses a hydrolized protein molecule that is much more digestible and truly the closet to mom's milk. Talk to the doctor about this type of formula to see if it will work for your baby. It just happens that it is also cheaper than Enfamil and Simalac. Good luck and peace be with you as you go through this experience.

Oh, don't give up yet. I know it can be frustrating and difficult. But, this is the absolute best thing you can give you baby next to your love. There are so many benefits to breast milk that will last a lifetime for both you and your little one. Have you tried having her nurse now that your nipples have healed? How about a nipple shield? I used one for the first 3 weeks and it litterally saved me from quitting early. Your nipples will soon "toughen" up and you won't need the shield anymore. You are not selfish for wanting to quit. We have all been there. But, please don't give up just yet. I have been where you are and can honestly say that it get better. My dear daughter just turned a year and we are still nursing (not exclusively, of course). Have you tried Lanolin for your nipples after nursing? or soothies? just some suggestions.

No you wouldn't be a bad mom. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and at least you tried. Good luck!

Congrats! I have a new baby girl as well, 11 weeks old. Have you ever tried a nipple shield? They gave me one at the hospital because my daughter had a hard time latching on, and staying latched on. Once she got a little older and was able to breast feed with out the shield, my nipples were raw. I went back to using the shield (you can get a babies r us) and then everything was much better. I would not feel guilty about weaning. I know LOTS of mommies, mostly 2nd time mommies, that never breast fed, or only did it for the first few weeks. One of them had a baby that had a milk allergy as well, so she went straight to the formula, even though it is expensive. I am going to start weaning very soon. It is just too hard now that I'm back at work and having to pump all the time. Do not feel guilty. You lasted a lot longer than lots of moms!

I am currently breastfeeding my 5 1/2 month old baby girl. The experience has been incredible. I am sorry that you have had problems. I will say that breastfeed babies are heathier. This should be a concern if you are placing her in daycare. I know that it is a pain to pump but this is such a short time in your life that you will have to do this. You should view it as a priveledge that you are feeding your baby what she needs. Can you not sacrifice your favorite foods for a few more months? Do what you will but why not give your baby the great start in life with the nutrients she needs. Please remember that every decision you make in your daughter's life will effect her forever.

Hi P.. I would say that if you are stressing over breastfeeding, then you should wean if it would be better for you and your baby emotionally. The baby can feel the stress just as you do. They do say breast is best, but they have made formulas now that are so close to the breast milk, they still get all their nutrition and everything else. Some mothers simply cannot breast feed, such as I, my daughter would not suck after she latched on, and doing what is non stressful and time saving might be best for you and your baby in the long run. Do not feel guilty or selfish, instead feel like you are doing great in doing what is best for you and your baby.

P.,

Yes, like everyone else has written, breast milk is best, but breast feeding is NOT for everyone. I was only able to breast feed my son for the first week of his life... there were so many issues and I can't tell you how guilty I felt. I didn't have enough milk, he was losing weight, he wouldn't latch on, then later wouldn't latch on, then had a hard time finding the right formula for him, etc, etc.. You need to do what's best for you and to remember these days happily and enjoy what you have. Just remember you gave her what was most important in the first days of breast feeding, the colostrum. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

K.

You are not a terrible mom for wanting to switch. Don't let anybody say any diffirent. I had the same problem with my daughter. She was allergic to something I was eating. My husband has many food allergies, so we would never know exactly what it is. I had to switch her to formula and my pediatrician didn't like it but you know what that's my daughter and I need to do what's best for her. She was allergic to something because you could hear her stomach rumbling and making all sorts of noises and she would cry constantly due to this. I switched her to Similac Isomil Advance. She is doing wonderful and is now six months old. At least your baby had the chance to take in breast milk even if it wasn't as long as you'd like. Some babies don't even get that much. So, if she's allergic, I'd switch, you won't believe the diffrence.
I hope all goes well for you and your baby. If I can help you out in any other way with this please let me know.

the nutrients she gets from Breastmilk are best, but formula is still really good, and she has really gotten a good base from the 2 months that you have feed her. I would try to wean her slowly over the next couple of weeks, so that you don't have too much discomfort. I don't know if you have looked into it, but we used soy formula with my daughter because she has milk sensitivities and it worked great. I bought the big can at Kmart and it was around 10.99, so the cost was very inexpensive. I wish you the best.

I had a similar experience with bfing. My DD had a protien sensitivity also, so I had to be strict dairy free also. It was difficult and I lasted 4 months. It was really hard once I went back to work, having to pump at lunch...and even lunch itself was hard to do dairy free!
The dr. wanted to put her on Alumentum @ 2 months, but she was still thriving and growing...she just had trace amounts of blood in her stool. I had talked to a ped allergist and he said as long as she is still growing the little bit of blood won't hurt her.
If you are going to ween...don't feel guilty! I have heard 3 months is great! Remember most of us were formula fed the whole time! It is not selfish to take care of your self! Not to mention, because of her sensitivity...the formula may actually be better for her!!!
And BTW...check out ebay for the formula....I got 6 cans of Alumentum for $90!! Normally $25 per can in the stores!!
Best of luck to you!! and if you would like to ask me anything about my experiences with this, you can email me ____@____.com

Best of Luck!!
K.

I think we as mothers feel that we always have to do the best for the baby even if that means it's at the expense of ourselves. What we have to remember is that we also have to take the best care of ourselves to be the best mommy we can be to our children! So if you feel that it's time to wean then you should wean, no matter the reasons. Your daughter will still flourish and thrive and grow to be the most beautiful girl because you took care of you so you could take care of her.

You gave her a good start, any little bit is good for her. Do not feel bad for doing it. This is a little personal.....I also was very sore when I first started to nurse then I learned about nipple shields and used them until my sores were gone, it was much better after that and I was able to continue on. You might try that if you are having doubts about stopping, see where it takes you.

Good luck

D.

I dealt with the same thing. I tried so hard to breastfeed but I was so anemic in and after I had left the hospital I just couldn't produce enough. I kept trying and felt like such a failure that I had to put my son on formula. Then he ended up with stomach problems, throwing up, and not to mention he got his lactose intolerance from his daddy. It was a nightmare and I blamed myself.

I can tell you that today I am over it. My 15 month old son is very healthy, grew out of his stomach problems a little before his one year birthday and still has a Similac Lactofree formula bottle or Lactaid milk. It's normal what you are feeling but you do what you need to do. The specialized formula, which we have used every single one of them until we found out what was wrong with our son is very expensive. You may find that the Similac brand is so much better on their tummies.

For gas problems we used the infant gas drops in his bottle, and if there was colic we used natural gripe water. Sounds strange but you can pick it up at a health food store and our pediatrician recommended it. This time you are going through seems like it will last forever but it really will go by so fast. Hope this helps.

P.S. Ask your pediatrician about the lactose free and see if a baby that is allergic to milk can still have reactions. It's a little cheaper than the kind you are talking about. Another thing. Always Always Always ask for samples or freebes at your babies doctor visits.

Hi P.,

I truly feel this is your decision and if you want to stop, then stop. I have 10 month old twins and I breast fed them, well actually I pumped for the 3 months and then I did the half breast milk and half formula and then I just went straight to formula. I remember my visiting nurse tell me that the most important time to breast feed is the first 6 weeks, they get all the nutrients and vitamins they need from the mother's breast in the first 6 weeks and I was already passed that, so I finally stopped and it was a load off my shoulders. I too knew of the benefits, but my babies were born at 34 weeks, so they stayed in the NICU for the first 2 weeks, so I started pumping in the hospital and never ended up stopping the pump. They took so well to the bottle and were growing, which was the most important thing and we knew how much they were taking, I just continued to do it. I did try a few times once they came home and put them to my breast, but just decided it was best for them to grow and gain weight and if that was breast milk in a bottle, that is what I stuck to. I also started adding cereal to their bottles at 2 months and that helped tremendously in the weight gain and me getting a few extra hours of sleep at night :) I also contemplated on what was best for me and the twins. I ended up not being able to get much milk out around the 3 month mark, they wanted me to take some erbs, I did, but then decided that enough is enough and the Lord has blessed these babies from the beginning, he will certainly carry me though with their health and growth, breast milk or not. They are now 10 months old and are soo healthy and happy and you would never know that they were premature when they were born. You know in your heart what is best for you and your baby, do what will work for you and her, not anyone else. I wish you the best.

I'm the mom of 5yr old boy, 10 month old twins girl and boy and happily married for 7 yrs.

You just have to do what�s best for your family. It sounds as if you have a lot of guilt about this and you shouldn�t. Remember, no matter what decision you make you are a good mom. You obviously care a great deal for your baby or you wouldn't be here posting.

I have a 7 month old son. I nursed him for 2.5 months and decided to go to the bottle only. I have my reasons for doing this and would be happy to share them with you if you would like, however that shouldn�t alter your final decision.

Good luck and congrats on your little one!

M.

Hello P.,

You should not feel selfish at all!!!! Don't be hard on yourself. I understand you so well...
I did not breastfeed my first child. At that time, I felt nervous, anxious and even with tons of information I did not know how exactly to do it and formula was my choice. Now, that baby is a healthy and a smart 6 yr old boy.
With my second child, I made the decision to breastfeed and stick to it. The first two months were painful, awful and I wanted to feel like every mom says, that it is a wonderful experience and you create a bond, etc.. etc... At that time, I couldn't feel like I should, feeling happy breastfeeding with my sore nipples, and sometimes clogg ducts in one of my breasts. I had 3 lumps in my left breast. I put warms towels every 3 hours and I breasted mostly with that breast. Two of them dissolved in about 1 week and because of the third one did not disolved by itself, I had a biopsy; with this procedure (totally unpainful) I found it was just another lump resulting from breastfeeding. About the third month, breastfeeding was the most wonderful experience I have never had in my whole life.
It was painful, it was uncomfortable at first. I wanted to give up, and I cried a lot because of the pain and because I felt the worst mom in the world. I saw my baby so tiny and dependent on me...I felt feverish and miserable, but after a while it was BEAUTIFUL...

P., if you feel you can do it, try again not for long it won't be necessary because you will know how and when breastfeeding will feel better. You are NOT selfish. If you cannot do it is is FINE.

Good Luck
Alejandra

Dear P.,
I'm sorry that breastfeeding is not the wonderful experience you thought or hoped it would be. That's okay. I nursed my first child for a year. It was the best experience for both of us. My second child came along and things were great for the first few weeks, and then she just started screaming every time I tried to feed her. It's really hard to feed a baby that is screaming the entire time. I would pump and give her breastmilk in the bottle, which she took just fine, so I knew it was just something about nursing that she didn't like. So now I'm chasing a toddler around the house, trying to pump and then taking the time to bottle feed the baby (all the while the toddler is getting more and more restless from the lack of attention to her). It was creating big stress to me, which wasn't helping the situation. In addition, once I went back to work I could only pump about 4 oz over the course of the entire day- the milk just wasn't there. This was so frustrating to me because my experience with nursing and pumping had been so great with the first one. After 4 months total I had to quick breastfeeding the baby. While the breastmilk was best for the baby, the stress that it was creating in the entire household was not. I felt so guilty for so long. Then at 6 months she developed eczema and a milk allergy the guilt continued-- I should have breastfed her for at least a year to avoid this according to the pediatrician. So I had to switch to the twice-as-expensive non-milk based formula. I know exactly where you are at and it didn't get better for me until I could put aside the guilt. My little one is just as healthy as her older sister (at 15 months she just got her first sinus infection; she's never had an ear infection; her eczema flares up occasionally though it doesn't seem to bother her, and her sister has chronic yeast infections despite the year of breastfeeding.) So this is my advice: take some quiet time to yourself (I know it's rare), and just listen to your heart and you will know what you need to do for your family. It's not just about what is best for baby, or what is best for you, but for your family. If you're a stressed-out mess, that's not good for anyone. But when you make your decision, whichever way you go, be sure about it. If you decide to keep breastfeeding, you have to be sure about it. If you decide to stop breastfeeding, you have to be able to put the guilt aside. Good luck!

Most moms feel the same way when they start pumping and realize how time consuming and difficult it is. I've dealt with so many moms who want to do what is best for the baby but are either told, or believe they should/can only pump. Pumping makes an already difficult breastfeeding experience even worse, if not impossible.
If you can start bringing the baby to the breast again, try that. You may find it's a better experience now.
Also, some babies just like to nurse longer than others, so nursing for 45 minutes is not necessarily a sign of low milk supply, so don't let that worry you. Only about 1 to 3% of mothers actually don't have enough milk. It's just that the baby is having a hard time getting that milk, and if you are already working with a lactation consultant, maybe she can show you ways to do that. Though pumping can decrease your milk supply some. But again, not always, and not so much you can't continue to breastfeed.
You need to do what will make you AND baby happy. Maybe try switching back to the breast instead of just pumping and see how that goes.
About the milk allergies, she will grow out of it. She may've grown out of some of them by now, so you can probably start slowly introducing some of those foods back into your diet. You have already noticed that it can be expensive to formula feed a baby with allergies, so I'd suggest trying to stick with the breast for as long as possible, just to save yourself some money!!
You're going to be going back to work in 2 weeks when it will be even harder to try to reestablish breastfeeding, so maybe see if you can make it until then.
You're getting through the hardest part of it. Those first few weeks are the hardest, and eventually it will get much, much easier. Breastfeeding does not have to be as complicated as many doctors and friends/family want to make it. It's a very simple process, but I understand it can be hard.
Keep at it. You may find things going much smoother in the next couple of weeks and be so glad you stuck with it!

Hi P..
I feel that you should do what's best for you, and that is what will be best for your baby.
I tried to breastfeed my son...it didn't work for long. I also had a low milk supply and he would drink for an hour or so ON EACH BREAST. By the time he would get done feeding, it was time to feed him again. I even tried pumping but that didn't work (I would literally pump until nothing else came out and it was barely 2 oz from both breasts). I just couldn't keep up. We wound up going strictly to formula and he is just as healthy as breastfed babies. He is almost 14 months old and has only 3 ear infections (knock on wood) and those all came when he was cutting teeth. He is also a fulltime daycare baby.
Good Luck on whatever you choose!
N.

I'm sorry that you've had a hard time but if you're not happy then I would wean. She needs a happy/relaxed momma.
*Any amount of breast milk is lots better than none at all.* Have you been putting lancan(sp?) on your sore/cracked nipples? They sell it cheap at the pharmacy in Walmart instead of off the shelve in the baby department. And you could see if WIC would help pay for your formula.
Best wishes and BIG ((((HUGS))))

PLEASE don't feel bad about weaning! I have three daughters (7, 5 and 7 weeks). The first one failed to thrive and at 2 weeks after she lost 2 pounds (!!), so I was forced to go to formula. My 2nd daughter did better, but with another girl running around the house (a 15 month old), I didn't have the time to nurse. And now that the older two girls are 7 and 5, I have a little more time, but my pediatrician says that the baby isn't gaining enough weight. So...we're formula-feeding and supplementing breastmilk. My doc and other research I've done says that ANY breastmilk your baby gets is great and that supplemental feeding is just fine, of course if your baby's tummy tolerates it. Don't feel guilty - your baby wants a stress-free and happy mom most of all!! Good luck to you.

Girl let it go!!!!! Don't feel bad about it... You did it for 2 months!!! I breast fed all four of my kids.. girls are the worse!! I had very similar problems-- I did it for four months.. and felt guilty too when I stopped. Now I'm older and wiser (33 :) now) and I know.. this is too much trouble for you-- it is stopping you from completely enjoying your baby.. let it go... if you still want to let her suck a bit (if she fights for it, ) fine, but your milk will dry up so she'll lose interest.. You are a GREAT mom and I mean GREAT for even hanging on for this long! I'm serious and not just saying it.. you are very unselfish... treat yourself good and don't feel guilty.. and stop breastfeeding.. Anybody got a problem with it, you send them to me!! :) No seriously, for all the naysayers... tell them you did it for two months... and switched... they don't need to know your business... and just because they did it for a year or five!!.. good for them! don't you feel bad. You have sacrificed for your baby... which is what a really good mommy does but part of being a great mom is taking care of you too sweetie. okay.. smooches

L.

P.,

You deeply care about your daughter and therefore you cannot be a bad mother. As someone who had problems breastfeeding and had to pump, and went back to work, I can only say that when you try to balance your interests as a professional, a woman and a mother, you just have to find the combination that is right for you. If you are very concerned about the effects of weaning on your daughter, why don't you just keep on pumping for a bit longer and complement with the expensive formula? Hopefully your work place will accomodate to your situation and by continuing to produce a milk of your own, you will have to buy less formula. I kept pumpting until my daughther (who was a tiny premie) was 6 months old and then we switched to formula. Now, if your nipples get raw even when you only pump, then maybe you can wean soon. Again, talk to your husband and you guys find the right decision for you.

When I had my first son I tried breastfeeding but he didn't want to latch on at all. We tried everything, I went to a lactation consultant several times a week for weeks but she also didn't know what to tell me other than my son was a lazy breastfeeder and just wanted the bottle. I pumped for 4 months and finally decided to quit and give him formula. It was so much better for all involved. The pressure was off of me, I didn't have the feeling anymore that I was failing my son and I felt defenitly much happier. I was so glad I decided to quit.
I think, for you, you have to do what is best for you. You probably will feel a lot better emotionaly and that will also affect your baby. You really tried and hung in there and were able to give her 10 weeks of breastmilk which is a great accomplishment. The formula these days are great.
Good luck!

You need to do what is best for you and your baby. Even though breast feeding is the best for your baby, if it is a struggle for you, that will impact you and the baby. However, weaning will not help you lose weight; breastfeeding burns a lot more calories than you are adding by drinking milk or juice. There are breastfeeding support groups and hotlines if you want to try to make it work, but do what is best for both of you.

Hey P.!
It sounds to me like you have done a wonderful job. Of course breast feeding is the best but they also say that the first three days of life(and breastfeeding) is the most important. In the first three days your baby is getting colostrum which contains many nutrients that she needs to strengthen her immune system. You have managed to do it for ten weeks. WAY TO GO! I am too a working mom and I think due to time, your best choice is formula.

C.

I have always been told that breast milk is the best HOWEVER you have to do what is right for you. If you are uncomfortable nursing, it can make it rough on you and the baby. I will say that I have done both. My 1st child, I had at 17 and was way to uncomfortable with the thought of nursing! I was young and didnt understand. However, my 2nd child I had when i was 23 and I did breastfeed. He was like a baracouda. I too had sores. I would actually bleed while he nursed it got so bad that I had to quit. I couldnt even pump because of the blood getting in the milk. My 3rd child I had was breast fed for 3 months, then I switched to formula b/c he decided to no longer nurse. He just didnt want it. He is now 10 months old, and I am 4 months pregnant. I have decided even though breast is the best milk for them, I am going to give this new baby formula. It is all personal choice. If you feel right about it, then you should do what you choose is the best option.

I do NOT AT ALL think that you are a selfish terrible mother. And I would do what I feel is in our best interest. None of my children have any issues whatsoever. They are all healthy and in perfect condition. And I am sure that yours will be too. Just give her all the love you can and it will be just fine.

P., you need to do what's best for the both of you. If you're not getting the benefits of bonding because of all the stress related around feeding, your child will know it. My first was a premie and pumped for 4 months becuase he couldn't latch. I felt like a milk-cow. My husband would sit and hold my beautiful little boy feeding him my milk from a bottle, while I sat hooked up to an industial looking machine. I came to resent the whole experience and feel it affected bonding with my first son (now 5). My second son came full-term and breast feeding was painful again and I had to supplement with formula to keep him from dehydrating. I pumped for 2 months, but because I didn't let the use of formula get me too stressed out, I feel I had a better bonding experience with my second child (now 3). I have a great relationship with both, but my memories of the time getting to know each of them has definitely been affected by the breast/bottle stigma. Only you know what is really best for your baby. Don't let well-meaning others pressure you to continue breast feeding, your love and emotional bond is just as important as any nutrients she would get from your breast milk.
Take care and God bless! J.

I am nursing my 5 mos. old son, which we have had our share of problems, too. Reoccuring mastitis, and yeast infection on the nipples. Talk about cracked, bleeding, painful nipples!!! But I have persevered through it so far. Like everyone else has said, "breast is best" and I personally, want to keep giving him that. I know in your heart, you will make the wise choice, and I wish you the best!

Do not feel guilty if you need to stop. It isn't always this magical experience for every mom. When my son started to bite me during breast feeding, I stopped. There were no terrible consequences for him. He is a perfectly heathly and normal 11 year old. I continued to breast feed with my oldest until she was able to walk. One did not have more colds than the other and there were no significant differences in their health. I stopped again at that same time with my younger son and plan to do so with my 4 month old daughter.

Formula may not be exactly the same as breast milk, but it isn't a bad thing either. Don't feel pressured to continue by others. You are not selfish. You are doing what is right for you and that in turn makes you a happier mom. Children can feel resentment and if that is what this is making you feel than it is better to stop now. Enjoy your daughter.

Ok, P., you are describing everything that I went through and my baby girl is now 3 1/2 mo. old. I never gave up and we are happily a breastfeeding couple now. You have to keep thinking that you are doing it for her, and it is an unselfish thing to do. First of all, feeding her formula will only cause milk supply to lessen. An empty breast will fill faster with more. Now, I had a low supply and my OB prescribed me a medicine, Reglan, for 12 days to help simulate milk and it has worked very well. As for the open wounds, you wouldn't believe what I went through in that area... a torn nipple (about half way around the nipple area). I had to put meds on it and pump for about a month or so to get it healed well before allowing my daughter to nurse on that side again. Have you been using Lansonil (sp?) for help with soreness? Another wonderful resource and support is Riverview's breastfeeding support group. Anyone can go regardless of where you delivered. Every hospital usually has a group. I go every Thur. from 10:30-12. There is a specialized lactation consultant there every week and she is wonderful!!! It's totally free. Now, as for the milk allergy, I can't advice you on that b/c I'm not familiar with it. Anyway, I'll tell you my first goal was to at least get to 3 months... that's the critical time for them to get your milk, so if you can wait for 3 months then wean, that's what I highly recommend. After all my trials and tribulations, my new goal is 9 months! :) Regardless, I wish you luck in whatever you decide... I just want to encourage you to continue a little longer and get some support somewhere for yourself--it does a world of wonders (I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for the class I attend).
P.S. Try a bigger cup size for the pump, you get more milk and it's more comfortable. 24 is the standard, try a 27 or 30. Those can also be bought at Riverview Women's Boutique.
S.

Hi P.! My experience breasfeeding both of my little ones was that the first 10 weeks were the hardest. I'm a redhead, so my skin is very fair and sensitive. So, especially with my first, my nipples were cracked and bleeding. It hurt so bad that at times I had to take ibuprofin just to cope with the breastfeeding. But, after about 10 weeks they healed up and my nipples adapted. I did have occasional relapses, but they were isolated occurences, not the norm. And, after about 12 weeks, breastfeeding actually became comfortable and enjoyable. I actually started dozing off quite often when my milk would let down because it was so relaxing. With my second, I thought my nipples would remember and I wouldn't go through the cracked and bleeding stage, but it happened all over again. Needless to say, I wasn't very happy about it, but I stuck with it and again, things were great after 10 to 12 weeks. I breastfed both of them until about 13 months.

Having said that, I didn't have to deal with extenuating circumstances like milk allergies, strict diets, working, pumping a lot, etc. My first was a little dehydrated at first, but I was told not to pump, but to breastfeed more because breasts will adapt with suckling - the more the baby suckles, the more milk the breast will produce. So, I offered the breast more and things were fine after that. Anyway, you have to do what works for you and what makes you comfortable. I stuck with it because I had my mind set on breastfeeding. Is your mind set on it? Because if it's not, it's going to be torture. Lots of babies never taste breastmilk and grow up to be perfectly happy, healthy adults. (I'm one of them!) I am a big believer in breastfeeding, but I think if I had gone back to work I would have switched to the bottle. I know that lots of women can pump a lot of milk, but I was never one of them. Your daughter will probably not remember breastfeeding one way or another, so it's really your choice. Do what's best for you!

Good Luck!
L.

P.,

Please do not think you are a selfish mother because you want to wean your little girl. You have done the absolute best you can and if I were you I would wean also. I experienced the same feeling when my son was born. He came 1 month premature and was in ICU for 2 weeks. I pumped constantly so they could feed him and I was only able to breast feed him several times in the hospital. Right before he came home I got sick and had to take antibiotics. I could not breastfeed being on the medicine so they wanted me to "pump and dump" the milk around the clock for 10 days. I could not do it. I felt terrible, but I did the best I could. He was on formula fron that point on. He is now 2 years old and healthy. I think breast milk is great, but children do just as well on formula. I hope everything works out. Take Care, A.

P.,

It is not selfish to wean your baby, you have gone farther than I would have and I give you much credit for that!! Speaking from my experience it was not easy to fit in pumping at work and if you work in a department store it must be just as difficult. You deserve happiness as well as your family so don't forget you are a person too!! I recommend weaning thought so it won't hurt as much when you stop!

Best of luck

P. --

The number one answer is -- do what you need to do! Don't feel selfish (although that is the tangled web of motherhood). But, if you're contimplating and not sure, I would encourage you to hang on with breastfeeding a little while longer. 10 weeks is awfully young still and I don't think you're getting the full 'fantastic-ness' and ease of your decision yet. Once the baby gets a little older, length of feeding is soooo short and convenient (because you have it with you). See how you feel, but if you can hold on a little longer -- things will seem much easier. Way to go so far!! Sounds like you overcame lots of difficulty to get where you are now!!!!!!!! I'm right there with ya sister -- it hasn't been easy for me either. You're awesome!

J.
SAHM of 3 boys :)

you should do what you feel in your heart is right. true, Breast milk is the better choice because it was made for your baby. There are some babies born however that are allergic to breastmilk from their mothers. You should not feel bad. At least you were strong enough to give breastfeeding a try. A lot of women wouldn;t even attempt to breastfeed. Personally I have breastfed all three of my children. Unfortunately, my boys were not satisfied with my milk. When I started to supplement with my first son, I cried and cried because I felt like a failure. with my daughter, I had no problems and enough milk for three:) I recently gave birth via emergency section to a beautiful baby boy. He was a little over six pounds and premature. My milk was not enough for him and he lost almost a whole pound with in a few days. I had no choice but to give formula. I had no problem with that. It was what was best for him. If you are uncofortable with nursing, your baby will pick up on that and it can affect you milk and your feeding time with your child. If you are relaxed and enjoy the feeding sessions, the baby will as well. That is what is important-that you bond and enjoy your time with your baby. Do what you feel is best. Take care and good luck with your family!!!!!!

Hi P.,
I see you've received lots of advice, but without being able to read through them all, I'm not sure if you'll have gotten this advice yet. The best thing you can do for your baby (the most important thing in your life right now) is keep breastfeeding, regardless of the pain, and even if it means staying home from work or taking a cut in hours. I really, truly mean it. Your baby will be happier, and you will probably be happier!
I went through a very tough time with my first child--it was extremely painful every time I nursed him for the first three months. (Finally by then my yeast infection and mastitis were both all cleared up.) I quit my job to stay at home with my children (my last day was the day before Jack was born! :). Now I have three and we are struggling a bit financially, but not badly, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I know I'm doing what's best for them!
Good luck!

M.

P.,
I know that it is hard to breastfeed. My first son at every 2 hrs./24 hrs. a day/ for 2 months straight. It was emotionally exhausting but after that it was amazing. No matter where we were I could feed him, and if you are worried about loosing weight, ask any woman who breast feeds and she'll tell you how fast she lost weight. I lost 45 lbs. in 4 mo. and I ate an amazing amount of food. It was the same way with my second son. Remember that everytime you breastfeed your uterus cramps (even if you don't feel it) this helps your belly tighten back up and she will be consuming so many calories that you won't even have to worry about calories. I know it's hard not to enjoy your fav. foods. I love wine, spicy indian food, and everything else you are not supposed to have. What I learned was that you will matabolize most foods in 3 hrs. so when your baby starts to have a bed time you can feed your baby her last feeding and enjoy whatever you want and as long as your milk doesn't let down for 3 or so hrs, you will have very little of what ever it is pulled into your breast milk.

But just remember that you are doing your best no matter what you decide. We moms feel too much guilt over our every decision!

A.

Hi P.! My son and I had most of the same issues with breastfeeding. Fortunately, the pumping made the decision for me because it did not get the hind milk and I dried up. My son ate so much that he was getting more supplemental formula than breast milk anyway. So our journey ended at 6 weeks. I felt awful that I couldn't "give my son the best", but feeding time had become a battle for us both. I know that breast milk is better than formula, but my son has always been healthy. You have to ask yourself whether or not your attitude towards breadtfeeding is affecting your bonding relationship with your daughter because negative feelings can transfer from mother to baby. Feeding your child is a bonding, nurturing, caring experience between mother and child regardless of whether you breastfeed or not. As I said I felt guilty at first, but once I started bottle feeding my son feeding times became much easier and much more special. We began to bond instead of fighting and getting frustrated with each other. Although, don't forget to factor in the extra expense of formula - especially hypoallergenic!

Baby needs momma happy and healthy. I bet everything will be just fine.

They do say that breastmilk is best but if it is causing you soo much pain I would suggest switching to formula! Formula may not be quite as good but it has all the nutrients that your baby needs. My son was always formula fed and he is just as healthy as a baby breastfeeding! I dont that you are being selfish at all. Good luck to you!!