Time to Put Our Dog Down

I would probably do it right after Christmas. That way it won't ruin their day and it will be long enough that it won't be the only thing they are thinking of when they go back to school. Kids adjust a lot faster than adults. They will be fine.

I'm so sorry. This is an incredibly painful, yet personal decision. I see this from both sides. The professional, because I've seen people let their animals go much longer just because it was too painful for them to let go. Yet, I've lost 4 of my own cats within about 6 years. As a family, it seems that you've already made the actual decision and it's just a matter of when. No one can make that decision for you. Children are pretty resilient and even though they will think about the dog, it probably would be best to do sooner rather than later. They do have the distraction of Christmas and presents, but then they also have (I assume) 2 weeks to greive before going back to school.

It's time to put your faithful friend down to sleep when you see that they are no longer comfortable living. Please don't make him suffer through Christmas to make you and your family feel better. He's given you the best years of his life, served you loyaly and now depends on you to not let him suffer any longer. I'm a dog owner too but will not let my babies suffer any longer than necessary just to keep them with me. Explain to the kids that this is the best Christmas gift you can give him. Rest! Then buy a special ornament for your tree in memory of your beloved pet. Depending on how old your kids are, maybe you could all go with him so he knows he's loved and he's not scared when you put him down. I'm crying for you as I write this...my heart goes out to you and your family as well as your beloved dog. It's always sad to lose a family member this time of year but it would be sadder to watch him suffer through Christmas. This would also allow the kids time to mourn before returning to school.
God Bless you all.

I'm so so sorry that you have to make this difficult decision. I had to put my dog down about a year ago and still miss him- it is very hard. I think in the end it is better to think about the dog. Is she in alot of pain? If so sooner than later and explain to your kids that even though you want her around it isn't fair to her to keep her in pain. Its a hard call to make I would say do it while they are home that way they arent distracted by their grief while needing to focus on their school work. Also they will have the distraction of new Christmas gifts to keep their mind off the loss. There isn't any way to make it easy for them- let them say goodbye, and be prepared for alot of tears. My kids recovered pretty quickly although weeks and months afterword they would see a picture of spunky and get teary. Hope this helps- and I hope you can enjoy your christmas despite this sad loss.

I am so sorry that you have to make this decision. In my opinion your pain will be great no matter when you decide to put your dog to sleep. Chances are your kids will recover faster from the loss b/c kids have a completely different outlook on relationships w/pets than we adults do - at least I think that as an adult we see more in our pet or get more out of the relationship as they become like children to us. (Not minimizing how attached kids get to our pets). Anyway, I would think about the dog first. If she is at the end of her life and so very sick, then it would be best to end her suffering as soon as possible. After all this is about her. I had to put my dog to sleep in 2006. He was at the end of his life and b/c of his great pain, he bit our other dog. I was at the end of my pregnancy and desperately wanted my dog to meet my baby. The vet even told me that they could put my dog on a stronger pain med to make him feel better for a bit longer... but then I opted to let my dog go on and it was very hard. But when they injected him, I was there with him and the sigh of relief that he let out when the shot started to relax him was something I'll never forget. For one brief second, he was without pain before he passed on. He was my best friend and I still miss him and the pain is still great. I focus on his life and the joy that he brought to me when he was still here. All this to say, you will grieve hard and you will get through it, Christmas or not. The love for your dog will always be with you and memories of her companionship and love for you and your family will fill your heart that you will carry around forever. You will always miss her but you will know that she had a long, wonderful and fulfilled life. My thoughts are with you and your family this Christmas season.

I think you should do what's best for the dog. If it's in pain, you should not drag it out. Your family will find a way to grieve whether school is in or it's Christmas or not. You have to think about the dog's quality of life and whether making it suffer for another 4 days is worth it. Putting it down is much more humane that making it die a long slow death. Just my opinion. Good luck and I will pray for you.

L.,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. We had to put our old dog down back in March. He was senile but then suddenly got aggressive with my three year old and me and we had no choice. The girls were very sad that we had to put him down, but they also knew that he was no longer himself and it wasn't good for him to stay on (not to mention unsafe but that isn't your case).

Two weeks later we went to the shelter because we couldn't take it anymore. I let the girls walk ahead of me to see which dogs were interested in them (it's surprising how many are interested in adults but not children). We ended up with a muy loco chihuahua beagle mix who ran right over to them and didn't get upset when they were so excited and jumping up and down in the getting to know you room. She's definitely not a replacement for our old dog but she is such a good companion for the girls and for us.

Some people like to wait longer before getting a new dog of course, but it's a fine testament to the love your dog has given you to want another one, I think.

Best wishes in your decision. I hope you have as Merry a Christmas as you can. :)

Hi L., I know your pain. We lost many dogs over the years and each one was so very special. I rememer and miss them all. I agree with the other woman. Don't prolong his suffering because you want him here for Christmas. He doesn't know what Christmas is. I know you want to spare your kids the pain of losing this precious dog at Christams, but let him go be at peace. I suggest you surprise the kids Christmas morning with a new puppy. You probibly don't want another dog so soon, but we have always found that a new dog does help with the pain. There are so many dogs in shelters waiting to be adopted. What better way to pay tribute to your beloved pet than to rescue another good dog from shelter life? Your kids will love another dog as much as they did this one. You will not be replacing him, but giving your love to another. Trust me, there will be a void when this one is gone. Fill that void by rescuing and loving a good dog that is out there waiting for a loving family, and it sounds like you have a very loving home.

Good luck and God bless. I am so sorry you have to go through this at Christmas!

I don't have any advice for you about the timing. I just wanted to suggest that you take a picture of your beloved doggy and put it in a photo ornament (or maybe one with each kid and the pooch if it will help them). It might be a little sad this year, but they will treasure it in the future. Sorry you have to deal with this sadness. Merry Christmas.

I think if the dog is in pain and uncomfortable it is not right to wait until after Christmas. I understand you think it is better for the family to have the dog with you, and it might be hard to let go sooner, but you want to teach your children to do the right thing, correct? letting an animal suffer for you benefit is not the right thing.

I don't mean to sound so harsh, but I just want to make sure I get the point across. I am deeply sorry for your pain and for the loss of your pet. I love my pets and treat them as part of the family. I have also worked in animal clinics. I have seen people hold on for too long alot of times. Death is not something that is convenient unfortunately.

Hi L.,

You said that you want to have your dog with you for Christmas, but I have been thinking about this and wonder if doing this unpleasant thing before Christmas might be the better time for the children. My reasoning is that even though they will have this very sad event, it will be tempered by looking forward to the excitement of Christmas. If your dog is suffering and in pain I think it would also be a kindness to your beloved pooch. I don't know how old your children are, but perhaps on Christmas you can tell the kids that your dog is watching from heaven, or something like that if they are feeling sad. That's just my suggestion. Of course do what you feel works best for you and your family. I am sorry that you have such a difficult task this Christmas. My condolences to you all.

M.

L.,

Not to be unsympathetic, but it doesn't really matter when you put the dog down. This will be hard for everyone. The only real consideration you should have is how does the dog feel? Are you selfishly keeping a miserable dog alive just so he can be there with you for Christmas? Will keeping him longer just cause you and the kids to dread the next few days? Is he at a phase where he is just laying around and inactive? Is he in pain? Is he just easing out physically so a few more days won't be any different for him?

Yes, next year you will be sad all over again. Try to focus on all the positive things on why you love your dog. See if you can take one really good picture of him, and one of him with the kids. Turn them into special Christmas ornaments that you can hang on the tree and remember your cherished dog with love.

No matter what, this is not an easy decision. Just do what is best for the dog. Comfort your children. Know I am sending you all the sympathy available. Thank you for taking good care of a wonderful creature, and having the strength to let him go with as much dignity as possible when necessary.

Best wishes,
K.

dear mom it is like a family member and it is going to be a sad time no matter what but you can make it an experience the kids will never forget.ask them to write their favorite thing about the dog.there is a web site in canada which icant remember the name of will let you post a story or poem of your pet and light a candle for him/her.also there is a poem out there called over the rainbow bridge that will also make it easy for the whole family when that time comes

Please do not let your pet suffer any longer. I know how hard this is. I have done it several times in my life.
If you are considering getting a new pet for the children it is best to do it now, while they are out of school for the holiday and there will be people home to help the new pet adapt and get into the house rules and regulations as well.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family at this time.

L.:
My heart is with you right now. We lost our dog of 12 years 4 days after Thanksgiving. It was miserable. We had had her longer that our children (9 and 4). If your dog is suffering, please do it ASAP. Trust me, you will know from your head and heart. I waited and the kids had to witness some pretty horrifiying last moments before I took her.

Maybe have a friend or family take the kids somewhere for a while and distract them. I know that it may not solve it, but it may make that "waiting' time while you are gone easier.

The Rainbow Bridge poem is great and helped a lot. We also made a "memorial" type area with her picture, her collar, a footprint, other memories. I found the kids there a couple times just talking to her. It was there way of talking it out.

There will be lots of tears and sad moments, but it seems to be far worse on the adults. We are slowly healing and looking forward to a puppy in the spring.

You are in my prayers for this misreable decision you have to face. God Bless.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I had to have my cat put down for the same reason last spring. She & I had been together since before I even met my husband, and she was definitely an important member of our family. So I know how difficult it is for you to go through this.

That being said, as much as you would like to have your dog with you for Christmas, it may be better to have him put down asap to avoid having him die on his own (possibly right in front of the kids) between now and then. On the last day I had with my cat, her condition went downhill VERY quickly, which the vet told me later is normal with renal failure. I was on the phone with the vet's office at 11:30 am, scheduling the appointment to have her put down at 6:00 pm. By 1:00 pm I was sure that she would die before the 6:00 appointment. She couldn't even move and she was clearly in pain. My toddler grabbed her tail and dragged her across the hardwood floor, and the cat couldn't even find the strength to get up and move away from her. It was the most awful day of my life. I would hate to see your family potentially go through that on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, with the vet's office closed.

I know it's a tough decision, but what if you celebrated Christmas with your dog this evening (give him a special treat or whatever you usually do for him for Christmas) and then have him put down tomorrow, after you have all had time to say good-bye. You would then have a couple of days to grieve before the holiday, and you wouldn't have the anxiety of knowing that him might not make it to Christmas anyways.

Another thing, if he's in the advanced stages of renal failure, he's in a lot of pain. No one wants to spend Christmas in pain. I'm literally crying for you right now. You might also want to consider getting your family a copy of a wonderful book called "All God's Creatures Go to Heaven" by N.A. Noel. I found it to be wonderfully comforting. My condolences. ~L.

I'm sorry for what your family has to go through especially this time of year. Honestly, I would go more by how your dog feels. How is her quality of life? Is she still eating and/or drinking? Can she hold her urine in? Can she control her bowels? Is she indoor or outdoor? In my opinion, if she is not eating or drinking, her quality of life is not there and it's not worth putting her through misery to keep her around through the holidays. If she is indoors and constantly unrinating in the house and this is a problem, maybe the time is now. If she has lost weight and is outdoors, does she have the energy, stamina to make it through the cold weather?
These are all things you have to decide for yourself. If you consider waiting longer, I would recommend giving her subcutaneous (SQ) fluids to boost her kidneys so she is more comfortable until it's time. Ask your vet about SQ fluids, if you don't mind needles, it's not really pricey. Good luck and Merry Christmas!!!

L....
am truly sorry to hear about your dog. We had, had this happen to us. It wasn't our dog, but it was my girls' great grandparents dog..we were all pretty close to him.
We talked about it and our feelings about it everyday. (Made the grieving process a whole lot easier). And it having to put the animal down before a special day can really make things a whole lot worse. Also, doing it while school is out would be so much easier and much better for the greivance to happen. Keep memories of your pet alive...we do everyday. We had also lost our baby..Harley. But not to death, to someone stealing him. We miss him dearly, and we talk all the time. Rememberance is one of the best things. Keeps the love for the pet going. By the time the kids go back to school they have good and bad news to share...and they'll be more okay about it than. ~HUGS~ to you and your family. Hope your Christmas is Merry & Bright!!

I am truly sorry that you have to go through this at Christmas. We lost our dog on Feb 3, 2008 and it was one of the hardest things we all have to experience including our 4-year-old. I think you would know when to put him down, and I think you are the only person to make the best time for the dog, not for the sake of you or your children. I understand you want to keep him for Christmas, but if he is suffering, how can you put him go through it just because you want to have one more Christmas with him? I think it's selfish of human beings to do that. I thought the same way as you are, no question about it. However, I believe you have the wisdom to know when to let him go. It is so difficult to see the dog suffer. Please follow your intuition and do the right thing for your dog. Think about his wishes as well. I have no doubt your dog has been living a great life with you guys, he won't have any regrets when it's time to go.

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. We put our dog down the day after Christmas. Waited so the neices and nephews could spend Christmas with her, and then explained that she was in a lot of pain, and that it was time for her to go to Heaven. It will take some time, but they do get it, and it will be better for all of you. The poor dog has no quality of life anymore. Our sheepdog had renal failure too. :(
God Bless

I'd do it AFTER Christmas, but make it very special this time. Pictures of the kids w/ the dog in front of the tree, etc. Have the kids make a photo album or scrapbook about the dog...their favorite memories, etc. That kid of things brings PLEASURABLE memories and helps w/ healing. Then, when they miss the dog, get out the album or pictures or whatever and go thru them to remember the wonderful times with the dog.

A VERY good time to talk about death and that it is something that EVERYONE has to deal with at some point in their lives, very natural and nothing to be afraid of. There are books you can buy to help kids deal with it. I belive there is one that's simply called WHEN A PET DIES.

L.,
Wait until after Christmas and get as many happy pictures as you can. I had to put my beloved cat of 22 1/2 years to sleep just about a month and a half ago. I cried reading your post.Losing a pet is almost as bad as losing a person and sometimes harder.They love us unconditionally, people don't. If the dog is not in any pain wait until after Christmas and I would suggest getting a new dog shortly there after.I adopted another cat "Shadow Bear" he looks just like Smokey did as a kitten. But no one wanted him because he is deaf.But he understands me using sign languages of sorts.There are many pets at the animal shelters waiting for a life time home and we need them as much as they need us.Maybe you can even find one who is already past the potty training stage.
My heart goes out to you.
Debbie

I'm so sorry you are going through this--especially at the holidays. We just lost a family dog, so I can relate. You don't say how old your children are. Are they aware about what is happening? Maybe you should all sit down as a family and make the decision together (if the children are old enough). Is the dog in pain? Would it be harder on the dog to wait until after Christmas, or would you rather give her peace as soon as possible? It is never a good time for us. I would just listen to your heart regarding what the dog would want regardless of the holidays. If you have young children, there is an excellent, simply worded book called "Dog Heaven" that I recommend. My heart goes out to you.

http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/059041...

Dear L.,

My heart is breaking for you and your family now. Soft tears are gently falling as I type this message.

This is the most sorrowful decision we animal lovers ever have to face, but when the time comes, we do it with love in our hearts and with our best friends' needs in mind. It is the most courageous and loving gift we can give them when their bodies have betrayed them so.

When is the right time? I am a firm believer that most of the time, our animals let us know in one unmistakable way or another. There comes a day when they have a look in their eyes that just says, "Please?" Sadly, we can't always schedule these things.

I am a pet loss grief volunteer at a wonderful web site. The site's main page is: http://www.rainbowsbridge.com there, you can make a residency for your beautiful girl where you can visit her whenever you want to, add to your memories of her whenever you want to, or write entries in her guest book.

The link to the Pet Loss forum at the site is under "Pet Loss Grief Support" on the first page after you enter the site. If you visit the forum, you'll see my posts under the name S. Squillions. I know the people there will offer unbelievable support and comfort to you and your family at this difficult time.

Please don't hesitate to send me a private message if you want some more poems, or stories to help your children through this heartbreaking chapter in their lives. I'm here for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry /lean on.

I leave you with a beautiful poem about making that decision on behalf of our animals who are living with terminal conditions.

MAY I GO NOW

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to painful days,
And endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
An example I tried to be.
So can I take the step
Beyond and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now,
To a warm and loving light.
I want to go, I really do,
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can,
To live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me,
And share your loves and fears.
I know you’re sad and afraid,
I see it in your tears.
I'll not be far I promise that,
And hope you'll always know,
That my spirit will be close to you,
Wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye,
And end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time,
And let me hear you say.
Because you care so much for me,
You'll let me go today.

Hi L.,
I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you and your family. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a family member. I think waiting till after Christmas but before the kids go back to school is a good idea. You could have a memorial service for the dog. Make a collage of pictures, share memories of fun times, put flowers on her grave, maybe have the kids write something to say at her funeral and draw her a picture to bury with her. I am glad your dog gets to be with you all for Christmas. Have a blessed and peaceful holiday. R.

I am a dog owner to 3 labs and recently had 1 pass away. I would put the dog to sleep before the children go back to school so they have time to grieve. If they are older and want to be with him during his final moments (and the vet would allow it) I would let them. It is very relaxing for the pet, they just go to sleep. It would give the pet comfort during his final moments to have his loved ones around him. On another thought...how old is your second dog? Has he/she been alone before? You may need to consider the effects of the loss on him/her. Discuss the effect that it will have on him/her. If you have an older dog, you may want to consider adopting another dog to keep them company, not to replace the loss but to maintain a healthy one. Dogs can go through depression just like humans. I have used the herbal supplement 'Rescue' to aid through stressful times. I had 2 labs and lost 1, had a miscarriage, and a confirmed pregnancy that I delivered this past November. We placed our lab on 'Rescue' and borrowed a friends dog the day after the loss of our pet. The dog was sad for the loss of his friend but was able to get though it was another pal. We have since adopted another lab and still have the borrowed one.

Good luck with the process. Just remember that you are doing what is best for the dog and your children will be sad but they will feel better knowing that their dog is not suffering.

Sorry for the pain you and your family are going through. I've been there as well. I remember putting my cat I grew up with down during finals week in college. I remember just sort of being in a mourning daze as I took my Spanish final. I was usually a straight A's student and I think I got a C- on the exam. So, I would just advise not to wait till they're back in school so they will not be too distracted to focus on their work. I hope that your dog will be able to enjoy one last Christmas with you!

Dear L.,

So sorry about your dog. I agree with the ladies who recommended "Dog Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant. There is also a book about the loss of a cat, "The 10th good thing about Barney", I forget the author, that might also help.

I haven't had to make this decision, so I'll defer to the people who have--if it were me, I'd go with "after Christmas, before school starts back up"--assuming of course that your dog can handle that. I also like the ideas of making it a really special Christmas for her with photos etc.

Some people have mentioned getting a new dog right away--personally, when my last cat died, I couldn't even think about that for months. You will know when the time is right.

Good luck!

K. Z.

I would wait till after Christmas and before break is over. Sorry you are going through this I am a huge animal lover and have grown up with dogs, cats, birds, lizards and the list goes on and on. I know this is hard to think of but for your kids to get through the loss it is best to bring new life into the family via another dog. Also if your other dog has been used to your sick dog being around he could get depressed and pass on from missing his friend so it is best to get him and the kids a new friend. I do know its hard to think of that. Best wishes to you and your family

Just wanted to recommend a book called "Dog Heaven", it is wonderful. So sorry you have to go through this, my prayers are with you and your family.