I have a 26 month old little girl, and she had started showing interest in using the toilet, so I went out and bought her "big girl" underwear and pull-ups thinking we'd start if she was ready. The first day in the big girl underwear she had 2 accidents right away, so I explained to her that if she wanted to wear the big girl underwear she had to use the potty every time she had to go. She looked at me and said "OK mommy, can I have a diaper please?" Ugh!
I am 8 months pregnant with our second child, and am wondering if at this point I should just forget about potty training her for now since she has obviously decided it's way too much work to use the toilet, or if I should try to get her potty trained before the baby comes? I've also heard from a lot of people that when a new baby comes the older child often regresses with potty training anyway? If I should push the potty training, what's the best way to start since now she keeps asking for a diaper and doesn't want to wear the big girl underwear?
Personally, I think she is too little still. Keep talking about the toilet and the concepts. If she has a little success here and there that's great!
My son is 28 months and seemed really into it for awhile, and then backed off. I have let him lead the way. I wouldn't push it, but let her try if she wants to, and use a diaper if she doesn't. I have a 3.5 month old too, so I understand not wanting them both in diapers, but I didn't want my son to feel forced to grow up suddenly or that diapers/potty had anything to do with his sister. The only one that we really request of him is first thing in the morning because he will wake up dry and wait till we are on our way to daycare before going. The nighttime diapers can handle that, the daytime can't, and I hate having to strip him down as we walk into daycare.
I have written this before, so I will put the short version here. I found the 3-6 months after potty triaing my daughter (at the time 34 months old) VERY stressful. I spent a lot of time saying "Do you have to go potty?" and racing to get there in time. And crawling around on the floor helping pull up pants. And standing in bathrooms saying, "get some toilet paper.. no, too much.. okay wipe... no don't touch that... okay flush... flush now... no don't touch that..." Oh and the public bathrooms, yuck!!!! AND I was lucky, my daughter trained and had no accidents!! And she night trained fully too.
I never want to discourage a mom from believing in their child, but I can't imagine crawling around after a toddler 9 months pregnant or nursing a newborn. Diapers, while costly, are easy! Also, if she si resistent it will be an uphill battle. Good luck and congratulations.
Hi C.,
I'm an old fashioned kind of girl: potty train before 3, just like our moms and grandmas did for us :)
I'm not sure, but are you taking her to go use the potty on a schedule? It is not fair to expect her to be able to know every time on her own.
If not, start taking her (don't ask, just take her) every 60 to 90 minutes during the day. She'll start taking herself after a week or two of a very consistent schedule, but this does not mean your work is done - she will still need you to take her and remind her regularly for a long time.
Potty training is a process, and accidents will happen, but you just have to stick with it and remember: she's only 2! She needs you to guide/direct/love her through everything she's never done before :)
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Have her run around with no bottoms on. It's still warm enough, and she will have an easier time of it if she doesn't have that "diaper" feeling (it's easy to confuse the feeling of panties and diapers for them at first). You can't expect that she is automatically going to 1) want to go in the toilet (this is a totally new experience for her, and toddlers are very routine-oriented), or 2) be successful right away! (it took her a few days or weeks to learn to walk, run, climb - why would potty training be any different?)
YOU as the mom really need to lead this exercise for her. Take her to the potty every 20 minutes all day long whether she wants/needs to, or not. If she pees on the floor, clean it up without a big fuss, and tell her she will make it to the potty in time the next time. Then be sure she does. This is about practice and repetition, just like anything else a young child learns to do. Of course she'll be resistant to it - she's 2. Two year olds are resistant to everything. But letting her pee and poop on herself for another couple of years is not the right thing to do either. You've just got to lead her in this and make sure she knows what to do. She'll need lots of help to figure this out.
I did not have any trouble with my older daughter "back sliding" on potty training when her baby sister was born. I think if you do it right (i.e. you are very matter of fact about it - you are teaching her a new skill that she needs to learn, just like eating with a fork, or learning to put on her own clothes), you will not have any problems.
I would definitely shoot for potty training now since she already expressed some interest. My recommendation, based on what worked for my two children, is to go all underpants, all the time, during waking hours. Put her on the potty every 30-45 minutes until you figure out her rhythm. She likely won't tell you that she needs to go for a few weeks. In the beginning, you are really the one who is trained, not them :o) We used M&M minis as a reward, 1 for trying, 2 for pee, 3 for poop. My son was about the age that your daughter is and this worked wonderfully for him. I'd reserve the pull-ups for naps and nighttime, explaining why pullups are needed during sleeping hours.
My niece also got more excited about wearing underpants when her parents pointed out that her cousins did. Perhaps you could try that if you haven't already? Or you could let her pick out her own underpants...or maybe in the morning she gets to pick out your underpants and you get to pick out hers????
Good luck! I know this can be a challenge, especially at 8 months pregnant, but just keep an open mind and it will be great! I actually enjoyed potty training my cuties :o)
I say the best thing to do is not push them. I would have the potty ready then every couple of days or so ask if she wants to try and sit on to go. If she says "no" then no big deal, but when she does make a big deal. My daughter started usuing the potty after her 2nd birthday, then got over it and went back to pullups. It wasnt until her 3rd birthday that she was really ready and now she is strickly in underwear (even at night) and she is 3 1/2. Its kind of one of those things, when they are ready, they are ready.
When she had her accidents did she realize what was happening or did she do the job then notice b/c she was REALLY wet? If she did not notice she is not ready yet, if she noticed then she is ready; however, kids do have set backs once babies are born, and it is normally what they just learned.
Check out Dr Phil's potty training method, if she is ready.
http://drphil.com/articles/article/264
Good Luck
