Time to Get Rid of the Pacifier!

My son did the exact same thing. I eventually just let him cry it out. One night I just didn't want to get out of bed, so I let him feel around for it himself and he eventually found it. He has learned now that that's the only way he will get it back. If she has problems finding it herself, maybe put a night light by her crib/bed. If she doesn't go back to sleep, let her cry that out too. It wont take much time for her to learn what's to be expected of her.

I have to agree with the other mama's out there. I thought about taking it away at 18 months, then really did it at 2yrs. By that time she only used it to sleep, so she didn't walk around with it in her mouth and it didn't affect her speech development.

At that point I told her that the "paci fairy" was going to come and take them to little babies who needed them. I have to admit, when we finally did it, she still didn't take it too well, but at that age, I could deal with the crying at night that went on for a couple nights. I had to hold my ground, as the fairy took them away! : ) I say wait a bit.

She's 9 months old. Sorry to Jen C but you can't spoil a baby or really lay down the law at 9 months old. The paci is how she comforts herself when she does not have you, her mommy. It calms her. As a mother who also nursed both of mine I really wish my second would have taken a paci. ( instead I was the paci!) I too was worried that my first might take her pacis (she held one too!) to college. My suggestion is to let your baby be a baby, and put a couple extra pacis in the crib so she can find them easier.

I have to say that I agree with most of the other posters. 9 months is so young, why the big hurry to take away the pacifier? You stated in your post that she is soothed by the pacifier, so I'm not sure I understand why you would want to deny her that. I don't think that there is an reason why your daughter needs to have a pacifier all the time, but I'm not sure I would try to take it away entirely at this point. My son used a pacifier until about 2 weeks ago. He is about 2 1/2. Until he was 1, I let him use the pacifier anytime. After his first birthday, we only allowed them at bed time and nap time, and very recently, he switched from a crib to a big boy bed and gave them up completely, no fuss, no crying, just decided that he didn't need them anymore. My pediatric dentist told me that my son needed to be off his paci by the time he was three, and my pediatrician agreed, so that was the time frame we were shooting for, which seemed reasonable to me.
I think you should consider waiting.

Get rid of the paci at 9 months!? All I have to say to you is, "GOOD LUCK!" Truly! If you want to do this, more power to you, but I will tell you about my daughter and her paci. My daughter was WAY attached to the paci from about 8 months to 12 months or so. After that, she mainly only wanted it when she was tired - I think a big part of it was that she was totally into eating by that point. We tried taking it away at 11 months and it totally broke our hearts. She acted like we betrayed her - I know that sounds stupid, but she totally did! She's now 22 months and only has it to sleep some nights and once in awhile in the car. If we forget it at home and don't have it for the car ride, oh well - she never freaks about it, just says, "oops, paci home!!" Sometimes she'll ask for it and I'll say, "Paci!? You don't need a paci right now, silly!" She giggles and lets it go. We've talked about how when she is 2, we're going to send the pacis to new babies who need them. She has a collection going to send to the babies when she's 2. It's been a total non-issue so far, but it would have been several sleepless nights doing it at 9 months... You might want to reconsider fighting this battle already. If not, good luck and hang in there! :)

I don't really have any groundbreaking advice for you. She is so young that I'm not sure that the typical strategies will be effective. You're probably just going to have to go cold turkey if it is really that important to you. I honestly don't see what the big deal is. She is still a itty bitty thing. If the paci gives her comfort then what is the harm in it? If the night waking is an issue then toss a couple of extra paci's in the crib and call it good. I can promise you that she won't tote it off to college with her. Typically children give their paci's up when they are ready. Biologically the need to suck lessons around 24 months so most are receptive to losing it about that time. As a mother of two I say pick your battles mama!

My son just decided one day he didnt need it anymore so I didn't have to ween him so maybe you should just give her a little more time, or maybe you should let her have it at sleeptime only. she is still relatively young so a paci is ok, but she should get rid of it by 18 months because it ruins the way her teeth come together. Plus its just plain annoying to see a four year old walking around with a paci

My daughter used a pacifier but never outside of the crib(after the 1st 6 months). It stayed in the crib. Since she never asked for it outside of nap and bedtime, I let her keep it until she was three and moved into her big girl bed. When that time came, about 3 months before hand, I started making a big deal about the pacifier fairy. She was old enough to understand that plus she loves babies. I also told her that the fairy doesn't just take, it gives toys in return. When the day arrived, she went off to school, I grabbed the pacifiers and left a basket of toys including a special bunny for her security. She was so excited when she got home from school, and never asked about the pacifier. I just figured if she wasn't using it out of the crib, what is the harm. She would go to bed right at 7pm and sleep until 7 or 8am the next day without waking me up. I liked the trade-off!

Good luck.

N.

Hello Smof1. I totally feel your pain. i just went through this in February! It's hard, but I took my son's pacifier away - just cold turkey. When he would get to the point where he would start looking for it, we would just distract him with a toy or a cup of water or something like that. That worked fine, but... the worst part was naps/bedtime. He was sooooo dependent on it, but especially worse at those times. The first night was torture. I put him in his bed and he cried and cried and I picked him up and soothed him, then put him back down. I did the same thing over and over again about 6 times, then I just pulled a chair up to the crib, put him down and slid my arm through the slats and rubbed his back. Eventually he went to sleep. By the third day he was fine, but all babies are different. The problem I have now is that I can't get him to sleep without nursing him, or putting him in his crib and turning Veggie Tales on for him, which he'll watch until he falls asleep on his own. On the other hand, my daughter can get him to sleep by rocking him, but I can't because he'll twist and turn and get under my shirt for 'boobies'. The funniest thing is, the other day he found an old pacifier (I thought I got rid of all of them) under the bed. I watched him to see what he was going to do, and he picked it up, looked at it kind of funny, then threw it on the ground and went about his business! I was soooo glad he didn't try to suck on it. I say, forget about cutting it or whatever, just get rid of it. As far as your parents go, that's a different story. I don't know how often your daughter is with them, but if it's during the week, try getting rid of the binky on a Friday night, that way you'll have the whole weekend to deal with her by yourself, and then when she goes to see them, she should be at a better point. Best of luck to you on this, I know how hard it can be. And believe me, the first night, I was ready to pull my hair out and run away, but now I am so glad that I did it. We used to look for the binky before we did anything. It was always "Do you have his binky?" before ANYTHING!!! lol Now we don't even have to worry about it, because it's gone.

**ok, so I just re-read your post. sorry I missed it the first time, when you said she is with your parents twice a week. Get rid of it the last time she sees them for the longest time before she sees them again. she should be adjusted, or on her way to being adjusted to it, by that point. If she has any pacifiers at their house ask them to please get rid of them, and do NOT, under any circumstances, give one to her, because all of your hard work with be for nothing. If they don't have any at their house, then just don't bring one for her when she goes. they'll be forced to deal with the situation. again, best of luck!!!

We just did the cold turkey method. It's a little harsh I know but my husband got sick of me giving in to the crying for it so he threw all but one out. I hate to admit it but it did work. But I have a pretty easy going kid too and I think that helped. My girlfriend dipped them in vinegar. She said her daughter put one in her mouth, spit it out and never reached for one again. You could try that...good luck.

If your parents aren't going to take the pacifier away when they have her you won't be successful. I have twin boys that were extremely attached to the pacifier. One Staurday night I took it away and NEVER gave it back. It was the longest 45 minutes (unitl they both fell asleep) of my life but after that it was easy. Like I said before, if your parents aren't willing to do it...it won't work. Maybe you should have your parents pay for your daughters dental bills if they are so wanting her to have a pacifier. The younger you take the pafifer away the easier it will be.

She is still very young. And, it is a comfort. So, I wouldn't worry about it at this point. Just try limiting it. We kept a dish by the crib. When our kids went down for a nap or bedtime they could get it out. But it went right back when they got up. We never allowed them to be up and playing with it in their mouth. And, my youngest, insisted on having one in the mouth and one in each hand! LOL ;) I think you should wait until 18months or 2years. My oldest gave hers up on her own, it was no big deal. My son starting flushing them down the toilet. We told him once they were gone, they were gone, forever. He flushed all but one. And, then about a week later, flushed it too! That was it. My littlest one we discovered held it in her hand and squeezed the bulb. weird. so we bought a small squishy animal that she could hold and squeeze instead and that worked.
Good luck!

I agree--ditch it during the day (if you work--take them with you while your parents watch her!). Try to introduce a new lovey or O. she already has....then ditch the paci at night and throw them away. It will be miserable for a few nights but she'll be OK :-)

I understand that the act of sucking produces oxytocin and young kids really need this. If she can't suck a bottle, and the pacifer and boob go...what's left? Maybe be more generous with the boob for a bit longer, if you really hate the paci. (I have no love for them myself...but comfort nurse my daughter still..she's 3.

I think she is too young and still enjoys the non-nutritive sucking that the paci provides. I agree that if it is forcing you to wake up with her in the night that that is a problem. I have 3 kids. My first had a paci, my second didn't. So being able to compare the two, with my third, he was going to take one weather he wanted to or not :) She is still so young and trust me when I say that it will come in handy many times!!! On an airplane for example, it is a lifesaver! My last two babies have gone through sleep training and they had to cry it out in order to learn to sleep through the night. I dont' think you need to take the paci away, just let her learn to fall back asleep without it. She will eventually be able to figure out where they are and put them back in her mouth if she wants. But my 3rd baby goes to sleep with it and then once it falls out, he sleeps the rest of the night without it. It will take a few nights of letting her cry, but she will figure it out. The rest of the time, she can have a paci if it gives her comfort. She is only 9 months old!!!!

I personally think 9 mos. is a little young - maybe wait until a few months after she's weaned from breastfeeding. My kids were a little older when weaned from the binky. I did it cold turkey - there's no other way (for me at least.) But they were almost two, so they understood that the binky fairy had to take them away. My kids both threw all of them in the trash, and the first few days they cried a little, but they got used to it in no time! Some of my friends sent them away with baloons to fairy land and the kids liked doing that. Babies at 9 mos. need them more than 22 mos., which was the age I did it. I would say maybe 18 mos. is the ideal time. They can understand a lot of words at 18 mos. Good luck!

1. I'd throw them all away. period. gone.

2. what days do your parents watch her? if it's T & Th i'd start Th night, and by T hope she's done. Are they thr type taht will go out to the store to buy one?

you could also wait to get rid of the pacifier....

Whats wrong with a paciforer ? It will hurt nothing is this your first child? My kids used it for a loong time i nuresed my children for a long time even when we went tent camping they grew p to mbe wonderfulchildren and i now have 7grandchildren relax you will lookback andwish they didnt be come adultsso fast A. no hills

Just take them all away. You may start by saying no Pacie during the day, and than when she gets used to that take it at night. There will be fighting and tears, but she will get over it once she learns that you are going to stand your ground. As for your parents, make it clear that you are the Mom, and what you say goes. That if they give in to her they will be side tracking your efforts and making it even harder on your child.