Ending Pacifier Use

Updated on March 22, 2011
A.P. asks from Brookline, MA
15 answers

hi everyone--

we have decided that we want to wean our daughter off her pacifier. she just turned two, and she's been using a pacifier solely for nap and bedtime for over a year (she willingly hands it over when she gets up). she's a fantastic sleeper, and my husband and i have been wary about changing anything since we need our sleep, too. but we have a chunk of time coming up where we both will be around, so we thought it would be a good opportunity to say goodbye to the pacifier.

so: do i start talking about taking away the pacifier now to prepare her in a few weeks, or do i just do it one day without the build-up? also, i know it will be one day no more pacifier (cold turkey), but do i start with not giving it to her for her nap that day or at bedtime?

any advice would be appreciated (except for comments that we should have taken away the pacifier months ago-- even her pediatric dentist said that he feels using a pacifier a bit longer is better overall since thumb-sucking is much worse on the teeth and a harder habit to break).

thanks!

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So What Happened?

thanks everyone! well, we ended the pacifiers last friday by leaving them on the couch before bedtime and then reading knuffle bunny free as a family. my daughter went to bed fine and woke up to a bottle of bubbles where the pacifiers were. she has gone to sleep and has slept well since. she sometimes asks about the pacifiers and we tell her that she is a big girl now. she occasionally gets wistful (as do i in private :), but she has been a trooper. thanks for all your support-- another milestone achieved and another hurdle crossed!

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J.A.

answers from St. Louis on

Thanks for asking this question! I am in the EXACT same situation with my husband on spring break this week. We have a baby due right at my son's 2nd birthday so we were thinking of convincing him to give it to the baby, but I don't know either.

He has recently started to call himself a big boy and correct people when they call him a baby, so maybe we can work with that! Everyone's suggestions below are similar to those that I got a couple months ago when we were thinking of doing this over winter break.

I have heard that you can 'train' any child to do just about anything in less than a week so if you have the time and patience- I say go for it!

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B.S.

answers from Saginaw on

I'd go cold turkey. Since you've already weaned her down to bedtime only, I wouldn't try to take it away for one sleep over the other, I would just take it away.And there are many different ways you can do it, if you do a little bit of research. I've done it two different ways for each of my girls.

For my oldest, we cut the tip completely off. She asked for it, one night, we gave it to her. She said "It's broke" My husband told her to throw it in the trash, she did. She would ask for it after that and we would remind her it was broke. Not one tear was ever shed. (She was 18 months at the time)

For my youngest, we just so happened to be in a grocery store one day when she lost it in the store. That night, she asked for a paci and right after she asked she remembered herself that she lost it in the store. We had an aha moment, that's right you did. Whenever she asked, we reminded her. She shed a few tears but only on night one. (She was around 26-28 months at the time)

Both girls were very attached to their paci. It really was a whole lot easier than I ever thought it was going to be for both of them.

Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from New York on

Hey there! :) I just took my 13 month old son off of the paci 10 days ago. I did the cold turkey method, after first trying a few other things. I read that cutting the tip off would work. Not for my son. Lol. He just sucked on it as he normally would. I also talked to him about throwing it in the garbage.Although he's only 13months, he knows what the garbage is and of course knows what his paci is. So I would say "Mommys gonna put your paci in the garbage because your a big boy now". He would look at the paci, then at the garbage and just stuff it back in his mouth. Lol. Finally, last Friday, I was at a friends house and we couldn't find it as we were ready to leave. Since that was his last paci, I felt then was the time. The first 3 nights were really hard. He cried A LOT!! I was about to give up, but it had already been 3 days, so why not keep going. I just rocked him to sleep next to me. The next 3 nights I let him fall asleep own his own, disregarding his normal bedtime. Each time, he went to bed earlier than the night before. For the last 3 days, he's been sleeping less during the day, which means he's going to bed at a fairly descent hour at night. Last night, he went to bed at 830pm and woke up at 8am this morning!!! So basically its a process for everyone involved. Since your daughter is older, try talking to her about it in a way she will understand. Since you and your hubby have time coming up, then woukd be a perfect time. Its gonna be hard at first, but you have to stick to it if you want it to work. In the end, you'll be glad that you did it. Good luck. Please keep us posted. :)

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

When my son turned 2 we went started the process of taking it away. My son also only used it for bedtime.

We talked to him about it during the day, told him how he is such a big boy now and that it was time to give his binky to a baby that didn’t have one. We also had his dentist talk to him about it and how it could be bad for his teeth if he uses it much longer. When we talked with him about it we would be all excited. I told him that when he was ready to give it to a baby, he would get a nice little new toy.

For about 2 weeks we kept talking to him about it and he really just took it all in stride. I also bought him the book Bye Bye Binky and he loved it.

We didn’t stress about it or put a lot of pressure on him. One morning we were reading his book and he asked me if what the dentist said was true about it hurting his teeth someday. When I told him it would eventually, he got up, went to get his binky and handed it over to me. He asked me to send it to a baby that didn’t have one. That was it. He never looked back.

I’m not sure if it was because we were very loving and patient, gave him time to think about it or if it was the dentist talking to him that he did it cold turkey.

Best of luck!!

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I have two daughters, 4 and 7. When my oldest was two, we took hers away and it was a week of pure HELL. She, like your daughter, only had it when she was sleeping but it was still a nightmare for the whole family when we took it away. We did tell her about it ahead of time (I felt it wasn't trustworthy of me to just take it away with no warning) which was my attempt to appease my guilt or to give her a chance to prepare, say goodbye, or get used to the idea.

When my 2nd turned 2, there was no way in bloody hell I was going to take the paci away from her. Not after the first experience I had had. I waited until age 3, and let me tell you, the difference was night and day. She was old enough to reason, and so I talked to her and told her that she was a big girl now and didn't need it any more, etc... she gave it up willingly, went to sleep, and we never heard anything more about it.

So I'm a strong advocate of waiting until they are old enough to reason... which, children can not cognitively do until at least 2 1/2 years old (according to my pediatrician).

I certainly hope that your two year old does better than mine did... and maybe she will, all children are different. She may not care!

Good luck!!!

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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

My girl still has her paci and she turned 2 in Dec. I personally dont have a desire to take it away yet....she only has it when she is in her bed..noone else sees it so who cares right?
what I did in prep to take it away someday is I dont let her have it during the day at all. (only at naps and bedtime). about 4 months ago, I then dropped the binki at naptime...so she now ONLY has it at bedtime. Works good for us but unfortunatley she is eating the pacifiers now...I gave her a brand new one adn 3 days later, there are holes in it from her chewing (she is also getting her back molars in too so who knows)
good luck

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

We had the "nukie fairy" come. Our kids were about 3. We talked it up a few weeks before she came. When she came she took all the nuks and left a present. It worked well for both of my kids.

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

We just went cold turkey, just after DS turned 2.

Surprisingly, we had no issues. I was prepared for a fight! But when he went up for his nap, and asked for his "bink", I reminded him that we were "all done binks", and that was it. Even when the new baby came...no issues.

So she might surprise you by being totally ready!

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

We took our 18 month olds pacifier away cold turkey this winter. She was becoming much more dependent on it. I was very nervous about cold turkey. The 1st day was rough especially at nap time and bed time. After day two it was like she had totally forgotten about it. If you are bob going to be home it's a great time because you can support each other. Good luck!

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

We waited until the kids 1st dentist appt at 3 and cut it off then. They were only using it to sleep, so it's not like they were wondering out in public with it. They were able to understand it was time to get rid of it and they threw it in the garbage on their own. Their were some tears the first night, but not too too bad.

I originally wanted to get rid of it sooner, but at our 1 child's 2 year check up, the doctor advised that if we get rid of that, they chance of her finding something else to suck on was pretty good. So, rather than trying to break a thumb sucking habit, we left her with the pacifier. Worked out ok for us.

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N.D.

answers from Springfield on

My son is a very concrete thinker, so we told him about the binky fairy for three days, talked about how he is getting too big for a binky and that little babies could use his (he only had one) because they are small and need it more. ONe night when he was asleep I crept in and exchanged his binky for a crib safe stuffed animal. When he woke up we oohed and aahed over his new animal and he never asked for it ever. The hardest part was finding the binky in his crib since it had fallen in between the mattress and the slats right near his head (of course). Good luck to you, N.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, it's good that it's only been a nap/bedtime thing. Will she box it up for the Paci-fairy for another baby? Does she need new bed-only lovey? I would say -- do it like ripping off a band aid--quick and painless! She will be fussy for a few days but it will pass. Good luck!

S.G.

answers from Dallas on

My children are 2yrs old and 17 yrs old. We took the paci away at 15 months for our youngest; our oldest didn't let it go until a bit after 2. Just trashed them all. Gave her other things to chew on like licorcie, slightly frozen fruit, fresh green beans slightly frozen and she enjoyed eating baby dill pickles when she felt the urge to chew due to teeth coming in. She went cold and never looked back.

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A.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I saw a really cute episode of Supernanny where in order to get this little girl to give up her pacifiers they told her about the "Paci Fairy". They told her a story about how the Paci Fairy needed more pacifiers to help other children and if the little girl gave the Paci Fairy her pacifiers she would get a present. They made a game out of it and had her help collect the pacis into a bag and put it into a tree in the backyard. The next day there was a present for the little girl and the pacis were gone. She was so distracted by the fairy and the present that she forgot about the pacis.

I don't know how old she was or if 2 is too young to play a game like this, but I thought it was really cute and the little girl had a lot of fun with it. Good luck to you!

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

Like many other people responded, we used the Binky Fairy. My husband even found a short video online where the binky fairy talks to your child and tells her what she is going to do. She collects the binkys and brings them "to babies who need them in a far away land." We talked about it for a few weeks, and then lined the binkys up on the windowsill one night and they disappeared. She asked for the fairy to bring her a toy and she did bring one (a small train). It was rough for a few nights, but we kept reminding her that there were babies who needed her binkys and she was not a baby anymore. Hang in there!! The whole situation WILL pass, and you will have a great story to tell her one day!

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