Throwing Fits - Lenexa,KS

All I can say is that both of my kids are perfect angels for everybody else! It's only with mom and dad that they push buttons.

Hi there! O.k, so I too had a 2 year old that would throw fits (he is now almost 8). At first I would ignore, and when that didn't work, I moved to swatting him-which also didn't work. I was told by his doctor to just put him in his room to throw his fits so that he is not receiving any attention. That didn't work because he would just flop himself down the hall until he was back to being center of attention.
Here's what I started doing.....and go ahead and laugh now...but it worked for me. When he starts throwing a fit, look at him and say "No, No, No, you are doing it all wrong, let mommy show you how to throw a REAL fit." Then you need to throw yourself on the ground and kick your hands and feet. I know it sounds dumb, but it took me about 3 or 4 times of doing this until my son figured out that his fits didn't bother me anymore(whether you react to his fits or not, he still senses your tension).
Try it out...what's it gonna hurt...if anything your son will get a kick outta it and forget what it was he was supposed to be throwing a fit about.
Good luck!

My son is also 20 months old and I have talked to the pediatrician about this (also my Parents as Teachers lady). She said this is perfectly normal behavior for a child this age. They are frustrated because they cannot communicate their needs quite yet. Are the "tantrums" short-lived? A lot of times I'll ignore him and he'll just stop acting that way. He's starting to talk more and able to communicate his wants and needs so the tantrums don't seem to be as frequent. The tantrums are stressful but hopefully they're just a phase and they're short lived. Maybe you should talk to your parents about it so you're on the same page so all your hard work isn't in vain.

hmmm, sad but usually true, he'll be more like a monster when you're reunited! BUT, this is a normal part of any transition...no matter how much you try to prepare him.

As for the discipline, it sounds as if you're doing great. The whole key is to choose your method & STICK to it. Unfortunately, as children mature, you will need to adjust your system!

Hi C..

I just went through the same thing. My daughter will also be two in April and when we came home from Christmas vacation...wow, what a terror! You're doing the right thing by ignoring it. I have found that I need to take Addie out of the situation and make her calm down, sometimes it takes me holding her (even though she continues to squirm and scream), but it only takes 30-60 seconds to bring her down. By the end of the week I had my sweet little girl back. They're at that age so I'm sure I can expect some more fits and you can too when you get your son back from your parents. That's just part of it. The important thing is to get him back into his routine as soon as you and your husband are home. It'll be okay...it's completely normal.

Ignoring the fits is probably the best course of action. You can talk to your parents about your strategy and ask them to please support your decision. Then, hope for the best and expect the worst. Your son will eventually learn that what he gets to do at his grandparents is not necessarily what he can do at home. Unless you want to fight about it all the time, I would let it go. There are extremes, of course.
Good luck!

Some else suggested throwing fits yourself or I had a friend who took this a step further he threw the fit and had his wife say now that enough and he stopped. You can also try making him throw a fit every day for a certain amount of time that will help too. My daughter would do it at the store I would put everything we had gotten back and leave so she couldn't get her way. Good luck

Sounds like you are handling it the right way in your home. I would warn your parents ahead of time that this has been an issue and tell them how to handle it. It is generally harder for grandparents to lay down the law but hopefully, if you explain your fears to them ahead of time, they will at least attempt to control some of the fits. This is very typical behavior at this age and if you don't nip it in the bud, as you said, it can get ugly.

Most of the time what you are doing will work amazingly well. But from time to time it doesn't work at all. All kids are different. I have a little girl about to turn 4 years old. She's been with me in my daycare since she was 2 and she still throws just as many fits as she did then. She still keeps her hands in her mouth all day. She still blubbers at every turn, can't stand to be told no and it makes me cringe to hear her mom baby talk to her. Her mother seems to think that it's perfectly normal behavior. While it may have started out to be normal, it was always over the top. About 8 or 10 months ago mom started spanking her for it. For a few months she started becoming quite normal for her age and a joy to be around. But then I guess mom got tired of cracking down on her and she's right back to being such a migraine causer.

Right now you need to brace yourself for him to explore this. When he decides that he isn't getting anywhere and that no one is going to give in, he'll stop. Explain to your parents ahead of time that you are ignoring this. Make sure they don't play 20 questions with asking him what he wants. Hopefully, they won't cave.

Suzi