Three Years After My 2Nd, People Still Ask When the Baby Is Due

you and I are in the exact same boat. I'll look forward to reading the responses. Thanks for posting the question!

I can so relate. I actually thought about getting a shirt that says "I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat. Nuff said" because I'm so tired of people asking me when I'm due. My last child was born 6 years ago :/ Usually when I'm asked that I just tell them I'm not pregnant. If they ask when I'm due I usually say "Due for what?". I've thought about saying "I'm due in about ten years, what about you?" Most of the time it's women asking me too. :/
I tell the hubby all the time if I walked into a hospital clutching my belly they would send me to delivery almost guaranteed.

My last was also a C section, which I think is partially what messed me up :/

I have this problem too... and I'm not kidding when I say I was pushing around about 5 week old twins when someone asked me when I was due... I'm like... Uhhhh... I just lost 30 lbs last week... do you SEE THESE BABIES???

I also carry in my tummy regardless of how much weight I'm carrying... which at the moment it too much...

I'm probably going to opt for a tummy tuck... for several reasons... let's face it... I don't like the look... My stomach was destroyed with my PG... I measured 9 months at 4... funny... I had a teeny tiny stretch mark... so a singlton probably wouldn't have done so much damage... now... my stomach looks like one of the after maps... you know the ones where they show how all the contenents used to fit together... and now all they edges pretty much match up but they are where we see them today? That's ME!!!! Also, I had a C-section... I think someone said they cut your abs... They're not supposed to... I had a really long talk with my OB about this... he said actually, they stretch them open... the abs are designed to open up... (that's the middle part of a 6 pack... not indentation... you're looking at 2 muscles.) However, that stretching did not seem to be undone for me... I still have pain.. it's been 3 years... The extra poundage has also caused some serious belly hang... no idea what will happen to that as I lose weight... so we'll see...

You could also be experiencing the problem where the muscles never properly returned... there is a video out that is supposed to help with that... I bought... and I've yet to find the time to do it... but it's called the mummy tummy... I know a few people that swear by it...

Good luck... oh... and if you find nice flattering pants please let me know the brand.. I can't find anything to accomodate my stomach that doesn't make me look like a pan cake butt!!! Which I'M NOT... can I please celbrate the parts of my body that I like!

Hi M.,

That is very rude how people say things like that to you. It seems kind of weird that people would make such statements especially since you sound like you are in pretty good shape. It sounds like out of the 3 fruits used to describe women's body shape, you are an "apple" and there are ways you can dress to minimize the tum. I think everyone has a bit of a "blob" as I like to call it, after having kids. I'm 2.5 years out of my second cesarian and I still have it too. I think a lot of it is skin and then if you have a few extra cookies now and then they like to hang out there until you work them off. That's what happens to mine, anyway.

Often all it takes is a change of style to even out your shape and emphasize the great shape you are in. I would try higher waisted flare jeans (I know, hard to find, you could also get some high waisted straight jeans but bootcut or flare are usually more flattering). The flare helps your legs seem less skinny compared to your body and also gives a bit of glam. If you choose it tight in the thigh you can show off those great legs while still evening out your profile. Some jeans even come with "tummy tuck stuff" built in. I have a great pair from Victoria's secret that really pulls in the jiggle from that c-section area. They are expensive but you probably only need a couple pairs anyway. "long and lean" shirts or tunic shirts can add length to your look and if it's a poofy shirt always always wear a belt or something to pull in the waist. Avoid those overly "flowy" (I call them maternity) tops that are in now. They will make just about anyone look pregnant. Also for summer I would try sleeveless tops, especially since you are a yoga instructor and probably have very nice arms. Also, are you standing up straight? I know you are a yoga instructor but even so, it may be a good idea to check. I noticed standing up straight literally takes pounds off my look. I hope this helps

In the meantime, if someone says I didn't know you were expecting you could always say, "Neither did I!" and if they ask when your baby is due you could say "3 years ago." I wonder how many of the people who treat you like you're preganant have actually had kids. I don't think I know even one woman who does not have a little bit of a pooch in the lower tummy after having been pregnant. So, best of luck and go on a clothes shopping spree. That would be fun. :P

God that sucks, I'm so sorry. A friend of mine has a belly like that and she doesn't even have kids. :-P She wears Spanx alot to "suck it in" not that that would be very comfortable for yoga.

When they ask when you're due give them the birth date of your last child. Or if they ask how far along you are say 32 months (or what ever is about right.) At the very least it will confuse them.

Hi M.,

I can completely feel your pain, as I am currently in this situation myself. Honestly, by the sound of it you are doing everything that you should. Yoga is supposed to be an excellent way to tone your core.Where do you teach?

I am very short(5 ft.) and I have been very athletic my entire life. I was a gymnast, dancer, swimmer and cheerleader in high school and even spent four years in the Navy running three days a week. I looked great then and really never had to worry about prancing around in a swimsuit or in front of the mirror for that matter.

Now, 31 and the mother of two (my youngest just turned 4), I cannot seem to tone my midsection at all.I too have had two c-sections. Sometihng else that is intresting to me is that I have an identical twin sister that has also had two children but w/o the c-sections. Even though we are almost the same weight, my midsection is completely different from hers now. Even though we both are now struggling with losing the extra weight, her midsection seems to look much more "tight". I have the skin, strechmarks and the scar where she does not.

I too get the coments from people that feel the need to ask when my baby is due. I absolutely hate it and I just want to scream sometimes. Being a twin I have always been compared. Poeple would say," Your sister is the pretty one". I was the twin cursed with crooked teeth and had to wear leg braces to correct my posture. (Just like the ones Forrest Gump wore.) It was horrendous. I guess I will always be the nice twin instead of the pretty one.

Eight years ago I underwent a breast augmentation in hopes that it would make me feel better about the way I looked. It was nice when I was thinner, now I could kick myself. Now, I am not only overwieght but, I also have a huge chest that makes it even more difficult to find anything that looks half way decent on me. All of this may sound like I am just feeling sorry for myself. Who knows?, Maybe I am.

Surgery is always an option. But keep in mind the pain and recovery time. I think my surgery was more painful than labor. From what I hear, tummy tucks are one of the most painful procedures to recover from since it is dealing with your obdominal muscles. It just may be worth it. If I had the money, I would probably give it a shot.

Long story short, just be happy with yourself, firm stomach or not. You still have your kids. I am sure having both of them was well worth all of the fustration of having to deal with nosey people. I used to be nice when someone made a comment to me. Now I just keep things short and sweet by saying, "Unless you are aware of something I am not, I am not due to give birth anytime soon". Sometimes I like to add in that they to could stand to loose a couple of LB's themselves. That usually does the trick. Maybe next time they find it necessary to think outloud they will think twice.

Hang in there M.! It could be worse. I just wanted to let you know that you are most definatly not alone. Hopefully, one of the moms on this site will give you more than a pep talk and give you the miracle cure. If they do, please feel free to spead the wealth of knowledge. I would love nothing more than to someday be able to prance around in a bikini again. Wishful thinking will never hurt anyone, right?

Hmmmmm....This could be your chance to become a comedian. You want to keep it silly and not angry hmmmmm. I was thinking of some sly remarks and then it seemed rude to use them. How about ask them if they want to feel the baby kicking...heeheee
It must be embarrasing for everyone involved. I learned my lesson one time. Even if a gal looks 9 months pregnant I never assume. If anything, people will learn something from this....not to generalize and assume.
I was just thinking...Try to remember that hopefully people are not TRYING to be rude. And if possible don't take it personal. No one really cares if you have a pooch or not. In my humble opinion I believe that folks are really kind and caring and not trying to be rude and callous. Have fun....You have a special feature. Embrace that Pooch. Have a pooch painting party or something.

I have a little poochy belly too and the one thing that did help flatten it a little was a lower calorie diet along with Winsor Pilates. I quit and the poochiness comes back. I'm going to start this routine again and see how it goes...

As far as the comments...just smile and tell them that is your c-section belly from birthing two beautiful daughters. Most people ask because everybody loves babies and pregnant ladies. They want to be able to share in the happiness and tell stories. They are not trying to hurt you...even though we all know how bad it feels...

Hugs to you and your girls,
C.

My grandma always said, the best way to answer a question you don't want to answer is, "Why do you want to know?"

Hi M.,

This is coming from a "nosy" person. It's awful if not dreadful for us too! I've done it twice (I've vowed NEVER to ask again even if their water broke on me.) I asked becasue they looked absolutley gorgeous and I was genuinely excited for them with the gift I thought they were carrying. So to be shot down twice for me was awful and shameful enough....for them to come back with a quick retort would be just spiteful. It took me two times to get it, and I got it. Take it with grace, are intentions are to share the joy. Gracefully correct them, it doesn't take much! At the end of the day, you need to love your body and know that you look amazing.

S.

My son will be 2 next month (my only child) & by day's end I have a little "watermelon" look to me - every single day. I work out, I don't drink soda, I've built up muscle in my abs, I breastfed for 14 mths & my body type sounds very similar to yours. I think the 2 biggest factors are my age (over 35) & the C-section. It's so frustrating so I really empathize with you. Most of the time I don't care except that I wish my clothes could fit better.

My most typical response to "Are you expecting?" is "Nope, Junior's still just hanging on to his mama." Then I give my belly a tap :)

I'm a big woman and I adopted my child. I was soooo afraid someone was going to hear me talking about her impending arrival and ask when I was due. I made it through the two year wait. Then, don't you know, I did it to someone else! D'oh! Her child was about a year old, and she was wearing a slightly tighter shirt to work. I really was excited for her . . .

Now I'm more relaxed - I figure someone owes me one. And I never ask anymore. Ever.

It sure is fun to think of sassy replies though! : D

I love seeing my little girl's beautiful round tummy. Maybe you could say you have "toddler tummy".

Well, you could try the direct approach with something like: "I'm sure you mean well, but no, I am not pregnant, and you might want to be more careful about asking questions that can be hurtful to people."

It sounds like you are doing great. Enjoy your life and your girls and try not to be bothered by people who say thoughtless things.

K.

I was right there with you. everyday someone would ask. finally i just got bitchy about it and told people i was fat. usually i said it pleasantly though. it would totally shock people when I would say that. but you know, i had enough. or if it were a stranger i would tell them how far along i was, so they didn't feel like an idiot.
so i got a tummy tuck. my muscles were so stretched and pulled apart that there was nothing i could do. and i am telling you.. it was the best $9000 i have ever spent. it makes me a much more pleasant person to be around.
non surgical solutions.. i used to wear underware that were super tight, Spanx is a good brand. pilates is wonderform a exercise that i practiced then and continue to do it now, which focuses on core strenght. I could do a million pilates based crunches and it abs never got sore (except for on the sides) i new that my abs were shot. that is why i opted for tummy tuck.

I carry my weight in my stomach. I have been fighting the weight fight since my first child was born 22 years ago. I have had people ask me the same thing and I sometimes get my feeling hurt and at time tell people I'm not pregnant just FAT. I know that sounds rude but we are an over weight society (not happy about it trust me) but people should stop assuming where all pregnant. Some men have asked me when the baby is due and I asked when is yours due. Solutions, just keep working out and have fun. Good luck and stay strong!

Hey there M.,
I think you are looking for some light hearted and fun responses, more than solutions and cure-all ideas. It is clear to me that you are an incredibly secure and healthy woman who respects her body and works to keep it happy and beautiful!! So I say good for you! You are in the best shape of your life, like you said, and so what if you have some stubborn belly fat/loose skin hanging around! People are soooo judgmental and clueless! I wish I had some funny and clever retorts for you to say to people who are so nosy, but I don't. I do have a fashion tip for you though, and I say this because when I was wearing the latest trendy fashion top, (the ones that actually poof out around your middle, those empire waist tops) a man, a complete stranger said to my daughter who I was walking hand in hand with, "Are you gonna be a big sister?" I was horribly embarassed and I will never wear one of those tops again! So..beware of those!
Anyway, have fun in yoga and take care!!----- E.

Melody -

I think you should just say, "oh, yes, thanks for noticing! I was due like 4 months ago, but the little one still isn't here. I love being pregnant! In fact, I think I'll keep this little bundle of love in my belly for another year. Women should be more like elephants, with a 13 month gestation period, don't you think?"
And then when they look at you like you are crazy, sweetly smile and say, "that'll teach you to assume, eh?"
Your pal -
M.

I've had a belly since I was in 7th grade, worn a size 0, weighed 75 pounds. That is where my body wants to store fat. Nothing I can do about it. After two kids it just added a couple more inches. No matter what weight I'm at, I will always have that belly. I too was asked on numerous occasions when I was due, or "gee I didn't know you were expecting again so soon!" I would just reply "not pregnant, just a fat pocket to remind me I'm a mom." They are more embarrassed than you by their mistake. Remember, all those changes to our bodies as a result of becoming a mom, or aging, etc. are a result of life lived to its fullest. My wider hips and softer belly remind me I gave birth to two beautiful, smart young men. The smile lines on my face just mean I've had a lot to smile about!!!

I have the tummy too. I am a size 6 around my backside and thighs and closer to a 10 around the middle. I'm still working on the tummy issue but after 3 c-sections it's hard. I try to be very aware of my wardrobe choice to accent the positive and minimize the negative. I recently was asked the same question getting on a water slide with my 6 year old - I replied "I was due two years ago and the babie's doing great, Thanks for asking." or how about, "No baby, just baby fat." I think if you smile it makes it easier and let's the people off lightly.

I just bought Jillian Michael's 30 day shred video and she has some reverse crunches that she says are good for that liile pooch

Tell them three years ago and you think she left a twin in there but it will be out intime to go to Kindergarten. C sections totally screw up your body because they cut those muscles making it almost impossible to ever get rid of it. Of course if you were stick skinny to start with it isn't as noticable which I wasn't either. I too am sick of the tire.

I get asked when I'm due when I wear certain clothes. I always had a belly too!

I always answer "33 (or whatever month old my kid is) months ago." I'm pretty cheerful about it, after all, pregnancy is purty adorable!

I will never forget the day I asked a woman when she was due and she said "4 years ago." Since then, I keep my mouth shut unless the other woman is showing me her ultrasounds. Now that I have my post partum belly, I know what it feels like.

I empathize with you. I have always had that little belly sticking out, even when I was young and in superb shape and wearing a size 4. It's genetics. Unfortunately, I too had a C section, and now the extra wrinkled skin is no help. Worse, whenever I gain weight, it goes to my belly first.
My solutions:
1. Cardio is a must for me. It's the only thing that'll burn the fat off, even if I already have worked on building my abs muscles. If I don't do my cardio, the fat sits on top of the muscles. But, like I said, even at my lowest fat%, I still had a sticking out belly and now the 'extra' skin.
2. When I don't have time to do the cardio, tummy control underwear works wonders. Splurge on the good brands. The cheap ones don't work.
3. Tummy tuck or some surgery like that is the only thing that will get rid of the extra skin. I'll consider that when I am positive I'm done with having kids. :) Until then, I won't risk getting near a knife. I've read about this on another board, and the women who chose to do the surgery loved the results, and had no regrets.

I agree - must be hard on everyone, that akward response. :-( that sucks! I would take the perspective that folks are being caring and interested when they ask..and No, I dont have any quick retorts.
but perhaps you want to check out that post-natal belly band that I saw at Babies R Us - supposed to help the muscles regain their control by adding support, but really I think its just a pregnancy-marketed support garment :-) heres something similar, but really - they have it at BRU in the feeding/breast pump section.
http://www.bellybandit.com/
Also, seems that most people agree that its not abt exercise (and it sounds like you know that) so maybe you want to look into a reduced fat kind of diet. Loss of the fat layer through a careful diet?
Or as a last resort - if its just skin hanging around down there, there is always the Mommy-tuck. But we all know how practical THAT is with two kids and work :-) Recovery must be fun!!

I realize that you have had many responses to your request. And, I hope that you are findind success in your wishes to lose weight.

Really, it's not easy to think about everything we are "supposed to do", especially when we have kids, are managing a home, AND working!

Here is something that you might find helpful. A friend of mine has tried this and begin to lose weight, just by taking the digestion aid tablets.

Good Luck,
R.

https://secure.myarbonne.com/satellite/sw.nsf/aliasAllPag...

I know this one well. I still have the Mommy belly too.
I don't really respond to it. That is just the way that god made us. Not everyone can be rich, and famous. Get the body back two weeks after they have the baby. I hope that you just enjoy the blessing of having wonderful children, and good health. If you want to tuck your tummy, get the opinion of a reputable surgeon.

I would:
1. Do the JAM ABS work-out everyday.
2. Cut snacking on carbs such as cookies, cake, chocolates, etc.. INstead, snack on fruits and veggies.
3. Wear a tummy control girdle in order to train your abs muscles to tuck in by itself...

Sorry, I want to talk creatively but I just want to get through to you as effectively and quickly as I could...