Thoughts on Reward Charts

Granted my children are now teenagers, however, I never used reward charts for the simple fact that you don't always get rewards for doing the right thing. What we always did was a lot of praising i.e. wow! Great job, sometimes we would do a "happy dance" becuase they did the "right" thing, however, I think the favorite was high five. Granted this is my personnal opinion, but I think we teach children to always expect something when they do the right thing. If the children would go 2 or 3 weeks without getting into to big trouble, were respectable etc, we would then take them out for pizza, maybe a movie, however, we never told them it was a reward, as they got older, they realized we would do things if they were "good" and we wouldn't if they weren't.
Jenn.......

Speaking as a 1st Grade teacher, I think reward charts are great. For some of my students, it was the only thing that would motivate them. I've also done jars filled with marbles, and a chain made out of paper. Those were more of a whole class reward, but they enjoyed seeing progress, as we worked toward a reward.

I think some people think they are not a good idea, because it could possibly lead to the child expecting something all of the time. They might not want to do anything, unless they know they are going to be rewarded. But, if you are just working on a certain behavior, I don't see any problem with a sticker chart. You're not actually giving her a "treat" or "prize" right away, you are reinforcing the behavior that you want her to do, and as she adds a sticker each time, she can see the progress she is making. That in itself is often rewarding! Good luck!

I have a 7 1/2 year old and a 5 year old. And I just recently implemented one with them. I do not know what I will do with "rewards". But they will be few and far between. I think the best reward with them both would be mommy and daddy's approval-because I have found that children this age.....that is all they want-is mommy and daddy's approval and want them to be proud of them! Sometimes just a star on the page is enough. Maybe once a month take them to McDonalds....I don't see any harm in rewarding like this-as long as its not too extravicant.

there is a book by alfie kohn that has some research stated that basically says that once you start praising and rewarding in such a way that it begins to diminish the child's inner drive to accomplish things and the child's internal sense of achievement and self-reward (i.e. feeling proud of one's self) in fact it can even lead to the child loosing motivation for acitivies that once were pleasurable to them.

I am a mom of 3, soon to be 4. Their ages are 4, 2 & 1. Our reward program consists of a large poster low enough for them to read and reach. Each child has their own column with large blocks. Each block has a category suited to each child, Helping, Staying Dry, Trying new foods...Using the potty etc...in which they get to pick out a sticker. What has really worked well is that acting out, they get a change to correct their action, or receive a black x which is taped to the board. It works so well, we haven't had to use the "x".

I can see the theory that people think that you are teaching your kids that you always "get" something. I just think the other side to it is teaching them about "sowing and reaping." If you plant a good seed, and do good work to watch it grow you get a good harvest. The opposite is true. That's why I don't necessarily think you should take away stars, but there should be both positive and negative consequence. You can't "unearn" what you have earned. So taking away stars seems unfair because then one bad act negates the good. I do think natural consequences are good, though, for sad choices.

Hello, We use a good behavior chart for our daughter. Our daughter is very hard headed and I found time outs were not very effective. My husband said why don't we try alot of attention on positive behavior instead of so much for bad. From this idea came our good behavior chart. Our daughter is 4 and helps us make it monthly. She also loves stamps so we purchased a stamp set of her choice and an ink pad in her favorite color. She has responded so well to this. If she is misbehaving we give a stamp warning and she stops quickly. She loves putting a stamp every day. This has worked wonders for her! After she fills a chart we go shopping for a toy of her choice. She works very hard to fill this to get the newest toy she wants. She also knows now she gets rewarded for good behavior and that attention is not given for bad. I think they are wonderful!!!!!!! Best Wishes!!

I found them "bad" after awhile of using b/c my 5 year old son "figured out" the system. He only did what the reward was for when he wanted the reward...he had to pee 5 times in the potty and got a half a pack of pez...so if he wanted pez that day he went in the potty, and if he didn't want any then he didn't use the potty. We tried it again later with little toys and such he picked out at the store that he said he really wanted with the same results. I'm not against the rewards for good and the punishment for bad at all. Its the way our society works to an extent. I have come to learn that surprising him for his good behaviors (today he sat through my hair apt. without a single problem which is normal for him but so very NICE that he does). We walked out of the salon and I said where would you like lunch? His eyes light up! I just said it's my special thank you for doing so great in there. I appericate you being good, so I thought I'd give you a special surprise.
I don't do special surprises for every good behavior, I don't do them every day or even every week. It's like a promotion we get them occassionally even though we work hard all year long or even multiple years at a time. I use positive reinforcement and punishment daily. I TRY to make the punishment match the crime also.
Many elementary schools use reward charts and flipping cards for bad times. The rewards chart may work for you, and by no means do I think they are bad, they just don't work for us :)

Reward charts are great! every child is different and you have to know what motivates them. Sometimes it just takes a kid some time though. When they master one bx they tend to slip in another. My son responded really well to collecting tokens to stop a bx and then later responded well to stopping a bx for two weeks and then got a trip to the toy store. I knew he loved cars so much and was motivated by knowing he would get to pick out the one he wanted. It doesn't have to be a material object you reward them with, it could be a special party or a trip to the ice cream shop. But if you think about it, we are all motivated by something (our paycheck, a new shirt, etc.) Just keep trying different things.
Keep up the positive reinforcement. Lots of praise really does work because kids really do want to please us!!
Good luck.

We used one for awhile when our oldest daughter was 2. She got a sticker if she slept in her bed all night. When she got 5 stickers she got a treat, for 15 stickers we went to McDonalds. It worked great for us, because she developed a habit of sleeping in her own bed, so that even when the chart was done, the habit was still there. The problem with charts for general behavior is that you just can't use them forever, and when its finished or when you slack off, the good behavior may stop also. They definetly do have a place in a behavior modification instance, but they are also limited in their usefulness for general good behavior.

As a child and family therapist prior to being a stay at home mom I have seen charts work and not work. I am a huge proponent of positive reinforcement so that is great that you have decided to go that route. The biggest reason why charts don't work or parents don't like them is that they are used incorrectly. You must be extremely consistent with it. Also, make is simple and don't work on too many areas at one time. If you want more specific info just send me a note and I'll be glad to provide it.

Good luck!

I use rewards charts with both my kids. I have a son who is 5 and a daughter who is almost 10. I have three behaviors for each of them that are things that they are struggling with and I want them to improve. Each day that they apply each behavior for the majority of the day, I put a sticker on their chart. At the end of the week, we count up the stickers and each puts that amount of marbles in his/her marble jar. With the marlbes, they can "buy" prizes. (For example, ten marbles - extra 30 minutes of TV or 30 minute later bedtime one night.) I have made a prize sheet that goes all the way up to 100 marbles. Through this method, they are also learning about saving for big things and getting rewarded later versus instant gratification.

Each of my children also have a chore chart for each day of the week. When they have finished a chore, they put a sticker on their chart. At the end of the week, each receives a nickel for every chore they completed during the week. My daughter usually ends up earning around $5.00 a week and my son earns around $2.50. They also receive what I call a daily reward for each day they complete all their chores. For my ten year old, the daily reward is 30 minutes of TV time or 30 minutes of computer time. For my five year old, it is 30 minutes of TV time or a craft with me (he loves making crafts).

Those are the things I do and they have worked well with my kids. Hope it helps. If you would like to see any of my charts, I would be happy to e-mail copies to you.

S. - ____@____.com

Reward charts work really well with kids this age. 5 year old realize the concequences of their actions, my own 4 year old is starting to realize this and she very often catches herself backing out of a lie before she even says it. We used stickers on a chart and eventually we got rid of that the older our daughter became. If a new behavior pops up, we intitialize the stickers again to break of her of a bad habit/behavior and it works for her.

A reward chart has worked wonderfully for our five year old. We use a website for obtaining great charts called handipoints.com. It is easy to use and offers many options for your chart. Kids can check off the things that they have done during the day and then the parents can grade the different categories from A+ - F. The kids then earn points to redeem for rewards that can be set by the parent and child. We started out printing the charts so that he could see how well he was doing whenever he wanted (he loved watching the stars add up), but now we just do it on the computer. He has responded so well to the charts that we have even started one for our three year old.

My son is now 8 and I tried a couple charts starting at about three. It very quickly unmotivated him, regardless of the "prize". Soon, nothing worked to motivate him. I could propose that after x number of times or so many stickers, he could have a new transformer and a happy meal or get to stay up late or ANYTHING and it wouldn't work anymore. He didn't like the "game" and turns very quickly against any such ploys. When his teachers try these things at school, it's a joke. All the other kids work on getting all their stars or points and he feels like he's above it all. Like it's for little kids. If it works, go for it. But if it doesn't, just find something else. Now our discussions are more along the lines of "Just clean your room. Nothing happens until that gets done." And we stick to it. No bribes or stars or counting. Straightforward.

We have one that we use for my 3 year old........"if only I could find one to use for my husband!!" hee hee ---it works like a charm....he gets soooooo proud of himself. We put the magnets up everynight after bath and he looks forward to it....then the items that he doesn't do well at we say "ok.....tomorrow you need to work on these items..." Anyway, I love it love it love it!
If you are hearing that parents think these are bad.....just think "why would a parent think rewarding their child for a goal that they set for the day is bad.." Seems a little weird if you ask me......rewarding your child with positive reinforcement is the way to go. Good luck to you!!!

Hello we recently visited our kids that live several miles away from us, I saw a watched idea to reward a child. Our granddaughter is also five, if she is being good her mommy gave her a colored piece of spiral maccroni, when she reached ten pieces she got a surprise. If she wasn't so good that day she didnt get to add to her ten pieces. Her surprises were something that she really wanted like an extra desert (popsicle) or she got to go to her friends house to play etc. Good Luck, I wish they would have ideas like this when our kids were small. K.

I have tried with my now 8 year old. The charts are sometimes very hard to keep up with. If you don't keep up with it, it seems as though you are punishing them, so be careful.

My sons teacher does something very cool. She has a big plastic jug on her desk and each kid has a specific numbered poker chip. When the kid is caught doing good, or does a particular chore, they get to put a poker chip in the jar. When she has a opportunity for the kids to do something like lead the class, then she pulls out a random chip. The more chips you have in the jar, the better your odds to get picked.

This could also work at home. You could put values on the chips. If you can collect 20 chips this month, we will see a movie. If you have 5 at the end of the week, you can cash them in for TV time. This will also promote saving, if they want something bigger.

I like giving prizes that are generally free to me, like TV time. That way it is cheap and they aren't expecting me to buy them stuff all of the time if I am broke....haha.

Good luck with your chart!

I still use a chart with the 10 year old I am raising to pay his allowance. This is a visual reminder for him so he knows what to expect. There is no penalty for not doing his chores, he simply does not get the check mark next to it and knows he will not be paid.

If he goes above and beyond his normal chores (there is a section for Additional items we can write them in) he gets to earn stars. After 5 stars he gets to pick out a movie he really wants to see and we rent it or he gets a trip to Dairy Queen or something. If he saves them up for 10 he can go to the local movie theater for a new release, have two friends over to spend the night or we take a day trip to the pool or a museum, etc.

I have used this system for several years and it works. He doesn't ask me about his allowance, he all ready knows the situation and realizes the chores are to be done daily or weekly depending on what it is and that he can't walk the dog 3 times in one day to make up for the days he skipped because at the end of the day there is an X through the items he did not do put there by me.

The stars are in gold ink and if they are carried over to the next week they are placed at the top of the chart with lots of smiley faces, etc.

This isn't just a "great job", it is earning something and having a visual reminder of the rewards that are coming.

I would imagine that you would find your friend's reasoning in Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. He also has a book called Punished by Rewards.
There's no way I could do justice to either book here, but there are a lot of people, including myself, who are generally opposed to behavioristic parenting methods, and that includes rewards and punishments.
That being said, you have to take each situation as it is, and make a decision. I ended up using a sticker chart to help ds get over his apprehension about using the toilet. I was getting very tired of changing diapers, and I could tell he was ready except for some fear. He was involved in making the chart, and he chose when to put stickers on, and where. He also had stickers he could use outside of the bathroom, that were unrelated to going potty. There was not other reward connected with going potty or the chart. That's the only time I've done rewards with my ds, and I don't do punishments (unless I slip up). He's honestly very compassionate for a 3.5yo!

Here are some articles explaining the position of those who don't use rewards.
http://life.familyeducation.com/punishment/parenting/2946...
http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm
http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/pdf/Punished%20by%20Rew...

You'll probably also find some great responses at www.mothering.com/discussions

Here's a quote from the first link:
"A lot of my work turns on the distinction between doing things to kids and working with kids. The only way to help kids become generous, responsible people and life-long learners is to work with them to solve problems and make decisions. But that takes time. It also takes care, skill, and in some cases, courage because we have to reconsider the validity of our requests."

I have used them in the past for my daughter to encourage her to learn to read, brushing her teeth, medicine, cleaning up messes, and feeding the dog. They have worked wonders for my family.

Presently we are using a behavioral chart to help with improving good behavior (choices) while decreasing poor behavior (choices). Our is based on a point system now that my daughter is 8 years old, but in the past we aso used stickers.

As long as you (and your spouse - if applicable, and /or family members) are consitent and follow-through, the chart is a wonderful way for kids to visualize and think things through on a more concrete level. The hard part is remembering to be consistent and follow-through with any poor behavior or not giving a star for poor choices.

Good luck and God Bless!
J.

A lot of times the reason why they may not work is they are not used correctly. The chart needs to be updated immediately as the desired behavior occurs. For example, if the rewards chart was for going to the bathroom successfully, the chart and the stickers need to be in the bathroom, and should be updated as soon as hands are washed.

Many children at that age want to be independent, to be praised for good work. A toy may not be what will motivate them but the feeling of pride. Try rewarding her with positive words, pointing out exactly what she did ("I appreciate you putting the video away as soon as you had finished watching the movie. You did a great job.") without labeling her ("You're a good girl"). Depending on the behavior create some sort of journal or record of how she has progressed, whether it's pictures or just writing down how often she does the behavior, etc. - any visual way that she can understand - and show it to her, praising her for progress. A folder may help you do this - make the chart on the front and have the journal/pictures/whatnot on the insides.

Hope this helps!

I actually use one for my 3 1/2 year old to reinforce his responsiblities. We had a lot of trouble getting him to get dressed in the morning and take a bath at night. I think it has helped, but I also think his age is a little young for us to have started this. I also only use it for positive reinforcement.

The reasons that I have read that people are opposed to these is that it reinforces that you always "get" something for completing your responsibilies. As parents, they think it is our job to teach them responsibility without the carrot hanging out there. I understand this, but I also have not seen or heard suggestions of how people do this. I also think that parents that oppose this and point to their children as successes probably have children that are naturally compliant, not headstrong or very energetic children?? It is tough to know what to do, isn't it? My Mom always told me that parenthood is not for sissies:-)

We have used them and have had NO negative issues at ALL with them. She sees them as accomplishments and we don't take away things for bad choices. She just knows that there are NO REWARDS for poor choices. That's a LIFE lesson. Talk about the consequences from BOTH sides and how important it is to "think things through" before taking action. You'll be amazed at the maturity level she'll achieve at an early age.

I used poker chips as payments. I told the kids that I got paid to do my job and bonuses for going above and beyond sooo they got "paid" for their jobs and bonuses for going above and beyond. At the end of each month, they could "cash in" or save up. Sometimes they earned enough to go to a restaurant or get a cd. Some months they didn't have enough for a cheeseburger. They learned that you have to work for your money and if you go the extra mile you might be able to afford something special you wanted.

I have used these and at present my granddaughter (6)is using a chart on which her help with chores is recorded.
After a set number of chores is completed (such as 10 or 15 or so), she is rewarded with a trip to the Dollar Store or money which she can put toward a special purpose.
Two of my grandsons(ages 6 and 8) must earn minutes to play their WII.
For each minute of work, they earn a minute on the WII.
OR, they can choose to earn cash per hour of work, to save or spend.
I agree with you that such charts must stress the positive.