This Is Silly, But...

Updated on May 30, 2007
K.M. asks from Atlanta, GA
12 answers

Hi! This might sound very silly to complain about but just wanted to know if anyone else has a child that looks just like the father and might be just a bit wistful that they looked a tad like them ...I have a beautiful daughter and wouldn't want to change a thing about her...but I wish she had atleast something from me! Some background: her father is Salvadorean and I am Caucasian. She's so cute. I can't help it though, when I'm out with her I want to look like her mom instead of a babysitter!

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L.L.

answers from Washington DC on

:-) I love reading things like this that make me realize I am not alone! I have 2 boys- and they both look just like their father- and I mean in every way. Same shaped head, blue eyes, same ears. They look nothing like me- and sometimes it makes me a little jealous... but they are both amazing little guys and just beautiful- so I can't really complain. (Although the running joke in my family is that I was just the vessle)

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L.W.

answers from Richmond on

Hi K.,
Oh, don't feel silly at all! We all love our kids so much and take such pride in everything they do. I have 5 husband clones! LOL. Three of my kids are practically interchangable, they look so alike and they resemble my husband from his childhood. My oldest is the most original looking child, but has so many of Daddy's features like dimples, nose, etc. that it's impossible to deny her! My fourth child looks just like my husband as he is now... It's incredible how genetics work!! Every last one of them has his body shape, his tush, his feet, even his nails!!! We have a joke in our family that my side offers the "weaker" genes.. my sister's 2 kids look like their father and my brother's 2 look like his wife!
So, know that you're not alone and simply enjoy your beautiful baby for all she is! You have the pleasure of helping her develop into a well rounded human being. No matter who she looks like, she'll always be someone you can be proud of just as much as you love her!

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

It's not silly at all. My mom is from Peru and my dad is from England and when I was a baby I looked nothing like my father. But as I got older, I started to look (and still do look) just like my dad except with darker feautures, probably a lot like your daughter. Kids change and although your daughter's complexion is not likely to change, her feautures might. I married a Caucasian man and our daughter has light hair, light eyes and looks just her father too. Sometimes when we're out together, I get the same "babysitter" feeling, but you never know, things can change!

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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Not silly. I have 2 sons. The first one looks so much like his father that when I took him shopping with me one day (without my husband) these little old ladies looked at him and at me and I heard them say, he looks nothing like his mommy. I said, "no, he looks just like his father and his father is very handsome." That shut them up. My second son looks exactly like a mini-masculine version of me. They look almost nothing alike. I was a little wistful before my second son was born about the first not resembling me (I mean I did all the hard work and carried him for 9 months) but now, it's a little strange to look at my second son and see my face looking back at me. Did I help? If not, sorry :o)

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K.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My baby is like that! lol
I notice that she has a few little things that alter her appearance to make her far more beautiful than she would be if she was all her father. I think mixed babies are some of the most beautiful babies. I'm sure your baby has tiny bits of you.
I think one of my larger worries is that people will notice that she barely looks like her siblings. They have a different father than her. Luckily their father was dark, so one of her brothers has a darker complexion but is obviously not a hispanic mix as she is. And the other two are about as fair as they come.

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S.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi K.,
Fear not!!! I have two kids with a man from El Salvador and a friend of mine has three to a different one.... we are both caucasians... my friends children all looked just like her when they were little... and since about three yrs they go back and forth and have taken on looks from both sides... and even if she does not have your features never fear I am sure she will take other of your qualities...

have fun with her and God Bless

ps: just remember how blessed you are that 'daddy' is still around... my kids dad left when they were really little and it's hard when they look just like the jerk that ripped your heart out and left you destitute... (I'm not bitter at all..LOL)... you can watch her grow and marvel at how great it is that she looks like the great man that is her father...

S.

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M.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Kristin, I don't know how old your child is, but children change as they grow. The child who looks line one parent now may change and look like the other later. As they grow, children mimic the facial expressions of their parents, and that is much of the source of people saying that adopted children look just like their parents. The similar facial expressions create a link. So, physical traits from you can still show up, and expressions will most likely be taken from yours as well. Definitely, if you spend a lot of time with her, other forms of body language will be copied from you, and make her seem just as much yours as his. People remarked all the time how much my son looked like me, yet he was adopted. I think it was more the facial expressions than any body appearance. Give it time.

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

This is not silly, but indeed funny. I am german/caucasian and I am very pale, and have dark brownish black hair, my hubby on the other hand is irish with redish brown hair (more on the red side). When I was preg, I wanted a red head SO BAD!!!!!!
Guess what? I got one....She has the redesy hair I have ever seen. She loks just like her daddy, except her nose...she got that from me.....I have a button nose......Also, I found out alot of times that genetics skips generations....My mom has red hair, and neither I or my brother and sister do....We actually all (me, brother and sister) have different color hair....funny huh?

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S.E.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh...well my husbands daughter from his first marriage looks NOTHING like him! He was married to a woman from Puerto Rico and all I can see in his daughter is Puerto Rican. She is dark, dark hair, eyes, she is 21. Her dad is white, german descent, it is hard to tell they are related!

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

K.,
I had to laugh as I sat here reading this because I finally realized that I wasn't the only one! It was a running joke with one of my college girlfriends who said to me "did you have ANY part in him?" However, the joke is on her now that she had her first child and he looks just like her husband. My husband always says that people look at him if he's at the mall or in a store and he's paranoid that people are thinking that he kidnapped our son or something. Of course, I give him this look like "are you kidding?" Anyone can see that my son is a miniature version of him. Now that I'm pregnant with our daughter, I keep telling him that she's going to look like me...lucky her! (just kidding!) Anyway, don't worry about it. Just think, if she's really acting up somewhere public, you don't have to claim her as your daughter and just keep saying that you're the babysitter! Again, I'm just kidding...

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S.D.

answers from Dover on

HAHA my 10 month old daughter looks exactly like her father too. Everyone says that she looks like both of us, but all I see is him. Even her angry looks and her smiles are just like him. I figure hey I gave birth to her so I don't need her to look like me to know that she is mine. And also, when I was younger I looked just like my Dad, now I am my mothers clone, so don't let it get you down, it could change!

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L.N.

answers from Washington DC on

silly...but not really. totally understandable. you have to understand that some nationalities have more distinct features about them therefore those features are inherited by the kids.
for example, i am white but eastern european and my husband is white american. now my features are cheeks :) and big eyes and a big ole nose :) guess what? both my girls have inherited those. BUT my ears are normal size and my husband's are big (you know floppy) and one of my girls got those as well. i tried duck tape etc because it was bothering me to look at those ears but in the end she's just as cute as she can be.
my husband on the otehr hand love that girls look like me (he says exotic), so that's what you should tell yourself. you darling is exotic. you know, that will go a long way as she grows older.
enjoy her
vlora

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