This Is a Bit personal....so Please Be Honest.

If it were me I'd seek professional guidance on this issue (pastor/priest, psychologist, marriage/family therapist, etc.).

It appears there are multiple issues going on here and a professional might be able to help you sort through everything.

Good luck.

It's not wrong - there is no blood relation so in that sense, it's fine. It's definitely strange though, as you have the shared history and shared siblings, so it's certainly going to create awkwardness as the family finds out.

You are very young - only 20 years old and already with a baby and an ex-husband. I think taking things very slowly is the right idea. It's really soon to be in a new relationship and maybe you started dating him b/c you know him well and are comfortable with him, so you feel safe after being with a controlling husband.

If I were you, I would get some counseling. Not because what you're doing is wrong or bad, but just because it helps to have someone to talk to. Leaving your husband can't have been easy and there are probably some things that a therapist could help you work through to figure out where you want to be in your life and how to help you be the best mother to your baby.

Good luck.

Well, it would make holidays very interesting...

If you were to go into a full relationship, and eventually get married, your ex-step-brother would be your husband, your ex-stepmother would now be your mother-in-law.

For your boyfriend, his ex-step-sister would be his wife, his ex-stepfather would now be his father-in-law.

Your half-sisters would be your half-sisters, plus your half-sisters-in-law. For both of you!

With ALL of the people in Colorado, you are attracted to your half-sisters' half brother. Are you sure that you are in love with him? You are so newly out of a bad relationship, this seems to me to be a sort of rebound relationship. I'm not saying that you aren't really in love with him, I just think that you should put this relationship on the back burner for a bit. Be on your own for a bit. Then try dating some other people, who aren't past step relatives, and see how you feel in a few months. If you are really right for each other, it will work itself out.

Hugs
M.

Honestly this sounds like a great movie! Just go with your heart, love your little one to bits and enjoy your life, it is YOUR life after all!

I think that on the one hand, love is rare and beautiful and deserves a chance. The one you love doesn't always come packaged the way we think they will. Life is messy sometimes. On the other hand - life and love, relationships in particular, are really difficult under the best circumstances. You are adding a whole layer of issues with this one. You have the same sisters, for one thing. When Inlaws don't get along it causes a lot of problems in the home and your inlaws are guaranteed to have friction. There are going to be times in life when you will need your familys help, and if they don't give this relationship thier blessing, they may not help. I wish life were a Sandra Bullock movie and love really was all that mattered. The truth is, when you commit to a relationship, there's a lot of business that has to be worked out and this one may just no be manageable long term.

I personally know a couple that are dating that their parents are married. They were married and when their children were around 20. A bit awkward yes, but wrong? Absolutely not. No relation, no problem.... I can see why you're hesitant to tell your mom, but the truth is, you've found that you care about this person, and don't you think even though she'll be a bit surprised, she'll be ok with with it?

If you're happy, go for it. Just prepare for awkward holiday dinners. lol

I don't see anything wrong with this, as you said your not related. however if you feel guility that can cause a problem in the relationship. Go ahead and tell his mom, if she reacts badly its up to her, tell her that you don't need her permission but you would really like her blessing, she should want her son to be happy no matter who it is with. my family weren;t to keen on me marrying my husband (because he is sixteen yrs older than me and doesn't make that much money, and yeah we struggle and its frustrating but we love each other) but I basically told them look I am going to be with him no matter how anyone else feels about it so jump on the train or get off the tracks!

well, it's complicated. you and him have two sisters. both of you have same sisters.
THAT is awkward.
it's not incest but it's not, i don't think, ok, or it won't be ok for his mom and your dad and your two sisters.
they will end up saying:
my brother and sister are married.
but then again, i just don't know. this is complicated. i don't like complicated.

It's not wrong - just a little funky - especially since there are half siblings involved. I think that stuff like this happens more often then we know. You're not related. So really it's up to you to decide if this is something that you want to move forward with - and open up about.

Do you ever watch Teen Mom on MTV? Two of the teens are engaged and gave their baby up for adoption and their mom and dad are married to each other with a kid. They don't seem to think it's weird at all.

Just be aware that you are SO YOUNG. You should be focusing on yourself and your baby and life well beyond tomorrow.

Good luck!

Your not related at all. So no I do not think its wrong. I think that if you love him the way you say you do. His mom has no say in this. If she flips.....she flips it her problem. I have to say I am glad you explained it the way you did because I bet this all can get very confusing!

Follow your heart!

Nothing wrong in my eyes! She may be perfectly happy with you two (three) together since she already knows you!!! I'd say have him invite her out to dinner and you and your son be there and then just tell her plain and simple. Tell her that you were nervous to tell her because of how she'd react and that you all love her and respect her but you are going through with this relationship and hope she's on board! By the way, congrats on finding a man you aready know is a good person and who will love you and your son for being WHO YOU are, not what they want you to be!

No blood relation means not "wrong". The only reason that any religion or law places moral value on marrying family members is because too much genetic sameness can cause problems in any offspring. You and he will never have that problem.

So that brings up the effects on everyone emotionally. The question seems to be can you, your boyfriend, your child, and the rest of your family handle the "interesting" unusual circumstances. These days, so many families are not the "usual" that it isn't a problem unless someone within the family makes it one. So you need to assess for yourself, most importantly, how the two of you feel about it. THAT will be the main influence on your child.
Then, how do your father and his mother feel? It was 11 years ago...a very long time for them to hopefully get over any bad feelings between them. If you become very serious about each other, how much contact with each other could they cope with? Are they going to make a big deal out of this and make your lives miserable, or would they be able to allow you to have your lives and love without dragging their own issues into it?

I think perhaps you may want to talk to your father. See what he thinks. And above all, remember that you are no blood relation to your new love, and not even a "step" relation--although your siblings are.

Seems like you could work it out if it's really important to you.

No, it's not wrong. Just awkward. My Mom raised me and my sister herself. (My Dad was a monster and would have destroyed us, so they divorced when I was 2 yrs old.) My husbands (then boyfriend) parents broke up and divorced as soon as he entered collage after 30 yrs of marriage. To make a long story short, his Dad met my Mom and they ended up living together for 17 yrs before he died suddenly of a heart attack. I'm glad they made each other happy for as long as they did. It didn't affect my marrying my husband at all. No matter how old they get, your parents are still people and they'll do what they want with nary a by your leave. You and your boyfriend are not genetically/blood related. If you are in love and want a committed life together then go for it. If your parents have problems, well - it's their problem not yours, so don't listen to it.

It's not incest in the strictest sense, but it could be incest by the legal definition. Some states absolutely do classify step-sibling realtionships as incest, even if the marriage that created the "step" has been dissolved. Depending on your future, you would need to find out your state's definition, or just do your best to keep it to yourself.

If you two are serious about your relationship, you will need to reveal it to your loved ones, but do so gently and maturely. You know that it will be a shock to them, but if you can explain that you've done your research and are very happy, then they will have to learn to accept it. I hope your family is accepting by nature. Good luck.

I think that it is very weird that you ex-step-brother could be your lover/husband.

Everybody needs to define their boundaries. No one can define that for you. We cannot control our feelings but we can control what we do about our feelings based on the boundaries that we deem as correct/incorrect.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I can understand you thinking it is awkward. I think you should take it very slowly, but be in the open about hanging out together. Go places together, talk to your former stepmom about how wonderful it is to have a friend like him--someone who is kind and respectful and treats you and your son well, someone to talk to, etc. Let him be your hero, and tell her she raised a fine son. Let the family see a friendship form first. It may or may not be a lasting relationship since you're on the rebound, which is why you should take it slowly. Don't hide, and if the family can't accept it, decide what to do from there. They may surprise you.

I don't think it is such a big deal...the relationship between your dad and his mom is in the past. Actually, my bigger concern is your age. You are young to have already had a doomed relationship and be a mom. How about working your yourself first, ensuring that you are financially stable with a good education, a solid job, and stability for you and your child? You just left your other man, you are still fairly new to the community. Make sure that you don't walk right out of one bad situation into another. If your man loves you he will wait for you.

Well, I would look into why you feel guilty?
I think it is awkward, and maybe uncommon, but I don't think it is wrong at all. Maybe others in you family will have a hard time coping because they might think of it differently because they might think of you as related, maybe.
I don't know, I don't see it wrong, I on the contrary think its great you found someone who loves you and your child the right way, good luck and be strong!

You don't say how long a long time ago was, but I don't see anything morally wrong with it. If it causes hard feelings in your family you may need to consider that because you are kind of stuck with your family and you don't want to alienate a support system. You also don't want to cause a wedge between him and his mom because one day they could very probably BOTH resent you for it.

Just some food for thought.

L.

how long did you live together while his mom and your dad were married?? Sorry im just trying to piece the puzzle together. Technically there is nothing wrong with the situation there is no blood lines so you are free and clear in my mind. It might raise some questions when your step sisters have to explain how their brother and sister are married :) Follow your heart if you feel he is the one and is worth stirring the pot a bit I say go for it but if you see this as a short time don't see marrying him I don't know the route I would take. Are you hiding from your father as well? If it feels wrong to you then go with that, if it doesnt bug you but your afraid of others don't be and do what you feel is right.

I don't see a problem with it, but you may find some people look it and go oh gee that doesn't seem right. But me personally I don't see the problem.

My Aunt got divorced from my uncle. Never married this other man but have lived together for 15+ years. They each had their own kids. Well his daughter and her son got married and now have a child. Some people think that this situation doesn't sound right when I tell them. But they aren't blood related and technically they aren't even step/brother step/sister. I don't see the problem. If anything I feel like their parents brought them together.

I think as long as your happy, go with it. You can probably expect to hear some people who think its wrong, but there is nothing wrong with it.

ur gonna have to tell people if u wanna continue. there is no easy way. maybe invite her to eat, maybe she'll figure it out when she sees u 2 together. good luck tho! or maybe he can say to his mom "i was thinking of asking Marie out, what are ur thots mom?"

Although a strange situation, I don't think this is wrong just a bit awkward, but it happens. Technically he is not any relation to you blood or not, not even a stepbrother anymore. Your parents were married quite a while ago too. My father was married and divorced 3 times and the other 2 woman had kids from previous marriages. So I also have some ex-step-siblings out there, but haven't happened to date any (lol). However I don't feel any sort of relation to any of these people.

The hardest part will be how his mother feels about it, which you seem to think will be an issue. I'm guessing your dad is ok with it? Not surprising, men seem to not care as much about these things. I think your BF should tell his mother alone, and find out how she feels about it. I don't think you should do it together only because it might be overwhelming, and she might hold back on true feelings in front of you. Who knows, maybe she'll surprise you both and be ok with it!

If she's terribly against it then you will both have to decide if its worth pursuing. I don't think she should dictate her son's love life, but it will definitely have a huge impact on your future.

It's not incest, but I still think it's "wrong"

not incest but also not right. dont know why cant explain it. maybe an uncle would be better than a step dad so to speak. if you got there holidays are going to be VERY AWKWARD AND WILL START ALOT OF FRICTION. just because of the relationship being what it is. you wanted honesty i think your pouring gas on a fire with your dad and his mom and your halves if you go there.