Third Child Decision Is Dominating My Life! Please Help!

Ok, it sounds like you want people to tell you a straight yes or no. Based on what you have written, I would say your no outweighs your yes. Just to play devil's advocate (being realistic, not mean :)
Concerns: Financial: it's all going to get WAY more expensive and cost WAY more than you think.
Time: Preteens and teens will take as much or more time than a little child.
Dynamic: You do not sound like you are 100% ok with a boy. Also, the clothes are a non-issue.
Work: You jobs do not sound like they allow for another baby unless one of you goes part time or stays home.
Stress: Another child IS a joy, but there will be more stress whether good or bad.
Influence: Again, you do not sound sold. Your older doesn't really have a say, but is not in control of his/her feelings and may not be best friends with a new baby.
Age: You age really is not an issue much, but consider how old you will be at graduation and if you want to be at that stage in your life.
Relationship: Doesn't sound ideal.
Being shortsighted: Consider the real possibility that you may have twins, or a disabled child. Some children never become "easy."
Fear of regret: This is your strongest pro-baby argument.
Bigger family: This is not always better and you may be glamorizing the idea of it.
Husband: Now he is able to help. With a high stress job and another baby, will he still be able to do that?
Sleep: Again, this is now. It can change as you get older and are not able to run around so much without physical consequences.
Nursing: It's a wonderful thing, but is it enough for you to make an 18+ year commitment?
Well, those are my thoughts that pop out regarding your post. Of course, everything I said could be argued the other way as well! Ultimately, it's your and your husband's decision and I wish you the best!

I would not do it unless you are as certain as you were with your first.

That's the only advice I can give you.

Also - it does not make the grass greener. So thinking it will make future Christmases better, etc. nope. Does not work that way.

Your life may be "easy" now but it won't be when your girls become teenagers. Everyone thinks the baby years are hard, and yes they can be physically exhausting, but I wasn't prepared for the emotional, mental and financial toll of the teen years.
Just something to think about.
Oh, and also the cost of college :-(

Having 3 kids is a TOTALLY different scenario than having 2 kids. I found that 1 to 2 kids - meh, no big deal. 2 to 3 kids, HUGE deal. 3 to 4 - meh, no big deal. More than 4 it doesn't matter until you hit double digits - seriously. We have 6, by the way :)

I love my kids. However, knowing what I know today (not about each child, but just where life would take us, our finances, our marriage, our lifestyle, our stress level), I wish we would have stopped at 2. I realize that our path wouldn't be the same as it is today if we would have stopped at 2, but when I look at the overall changes in our lives, 2 would have been a good fit for us. Obviously, we made 6 work just fine, though. The one thing I am really glad about is that our last child will turn 18 before I turn 50 (and before hubby turns 60). I am SOOOOO glad that we didn't add to our family any later in life than we did. I can't imagine having teenagers well into my 50s and I think the stress of teenage girls into my husband's 60s might have done real damage to him (we are both type A folks so we internalize stress more than other, more laid back folks).

If you are asking for votes, I vote that 2 is a great number.

Good luck!

I’m leaning towards no based on the fact that you acknowledge you and your husband don’t have a great relationship and you fight often.

I believe one of the best gifts to give your children is a peaceful home and modeling a great loving relationship with respect for one another.

I can’t even remember the last fight I had with my husband and we rarely are annoyed with one another. Our relationship is just easy.

You say you can afford it. You say you work full time. You say you have a hard time managing the two you have.

Hire a nanny to come into your home and make a list of things they are to do every day.

Take care of the baby, #1 job

Transport your school kids to and from school, and to after school activities, provide a car seat for the infant for their car or provide a vehicle for them to drive

Light housekeeping when the baby is sleeping

Keep laundry going until all laundry is washed, dried, and hung/folded and put away

Do evening meal prep such as making a salad, starting a roast, etc....

It isn't a balance sheet. it's a feeling. I spent a few years walking around thinking about the third. Whenever I'd see families with 3 kids, I would pause and feel a little sad and heavy.

So my 3rd will be 5 in Feb.. BEST THING for all of us. She is a blessing. Yes, traveling is harder (many hotel rooms cannot handle 4, so you have to look for placed with suites). Yes, it costs more (I had a second girl but I had already donated most of her clothes, and all of our baby things!). But the family didn't feel complete until her added her (and a dog, 2 cats and 2 fish).

It really is a feeling. If you both feel the tug, by even contemplating it, if you have no serious reason to not have a third (threat to your health, would push you into bankruptcy), why not have her? I knew when we were done. We both did.

FYI, I had my 1st kid at 36! My third came just before my 41st bday. Please remove age from the equation. I didn't even start until 36.

Also, healthy fighting is essential to a good marriage. If you fight nice, then fighting is a sign you care.

I really wanted a third child, but my husband was happy with the two we have. It was hard for me to close that door, but now that my kids are 13 and 17, I'm so glad my husband talked me out of a third! When my last child started school, I missed having a baby/toddler around, so I wanted a third. Now that they're teenagers, I'm thankful I didn't add a third to the mix. They are expensive! My son plays a competitive sport and we are constantly on the go. My daughter is currently applying for colleges and I didn't realize just how expensive it is. I think if you end up with a third, you will love him/her no matter what, but definitely think about the stress and financial strains it may put on your family. I thought the younger years would be the hardest, but it's not. When they're older, you have to deal with school work, curfews, driving, etc. Ultimately, it's up to you and what you decide, as long as you're happy with your final decision. It seems you and your husband are good, responsible parents, so good luck with whatever you decide.