Think This Question Was Asked a Million Times but Having Potty Training Issue

The average age for potty training in the US may be 3, but before disposable diapers it was 18 months. In the rest of the world it is still a year. So I don't think you are too early. My son trained within a week at age 25 months. He had no signs of 'potty readiness'. We just got rid of the diapers and put him in regular underwear. I have to disagree with Hazel (whom I almost always agree with) and state that potty readiness has been invented by the disposable diaper companies. Kids potty train when we simply and calmly expect them to. Just like they get with the teeth brushing program - we do not wait until they are ready for that. I would simply throw away the diapers so you can honestly tell her that there are no more diapers.

I would also spend some time talking to her about when she was 'little', showing her pictures of when she was a baby, telling her about things you and she did together. She may very well be jealous of the attention the baby is getting and wants to stay a 'baby' for that reason. And I would talk to her about about all the things she can do now that the baby can't - maybe spend some mommy and big kid time at the play ground or somewhere that she can do things the baby can't.

My stance on potty training has changed significantly from my first child to my 3rd child. My opinion now? Let her be a little fickle. She is trying to figure out what she is comfortable with. I'm not saying bend to her every wish, but give her options. "Do you want to wear pullups or underwear today?" "Do you want to pull them up yourself or do you think you need some help?" Be calm and supportive and she will figure it out. I love the book "I'm a Big Kid Now". It helps kids think through the potty training steps. Good luck!

An important developmental step for every child is potty training. Most children begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years old. (Note: It usually takes a little longer to potty train boys than girls. Boys, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 12 weeks. Girls, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 10 weeks.)

Signs that your child may be ready to start potty training include:

Staying dry for at least two hours at a time.
Having regular bowel movements.
Being able to follow instructions.
Being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and asking for them to be changed.
Asking to use the potty or saying that they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.
Showing interest in the toilet and/or wearing “big kid” underpants.
When you begin potty training:

Dress your child appropriately for potty training. Garments with elasticized waists, Velcro, and snaps are usually easy for your child to take off and put on.
Choose a potty seat that your child can easily use on their own.
Your child may want to personalize his/her potty: by letting him/her write his/her name on the little potty, a sense of ownership can develop. Your child may be more likely to use a potty if s/he feels it is uniquely his/hers.
Assure your child that s/he will not fall in the potty (many children have fears of falling in a toilet while sitting on it).
Encourage your child to use the potty at regular intervals - or whenever s/he show signs that s/he needs to go.
Use proper terms (urinating and defecating) as well as the terms your child may be more comfortable with (peeing and pooping). Make sure that you define your terms so that your child becomes adept at using the terms him-/herself.
Start with the basics. Both boys and girls should be shown how to potty from a seated position first. Once boys master urinating from a seated position, they can “graduate” to learning how to urinate while standing. The reason boys should learn to urinate while seated first is that bowel movements and urination often occur in the same bathroom visit . . . additionally, the delay in learning to urinate while standing minimizes the likelihood of your son making messes while enthralled with the spray he can create by urinating.
Teach your child to wipe properly. Show him/her how to remove toilet paper from the roll, wipe, and throw the used toilet paper in the toilet. Instruct girls to wipe from front to back, which helps avoid urinary tract infections. (Note: your child may need help to wipe effectively, especially after a bowel movement, until about age 4 or 5.)
Be supportive and use rewards, such as stickers, when your child is successful on the potty.
Use praise, applause, special songs, reading a special book in the bathroom, or whatever else resonates with your child.
Avoid pressure: your child will likely have accidents during the process. Don’t punish him or her for any setbacks.
Be sure that your babysitter understands your approach to potty training and is consistent with rewards, praise, etc.
Let your child pick out new ‘big kid” underpants with his/her favorite characters (Dora, Thomas the Train, etc.) on them.
Use potty-themed books and videos to reinforce key messages.
Don’t begin toilet training during a stressful time (e.g., moving, new baby, starting a new preschool, etc.)
Recognize that your child has control of his/her bodily functions, and you can’t get him/her to “go” on the potty until s/he is ready. Don’t turn this into a power struggle because it’s one that you won’t win. If your child seems to develop a resistance to potty training, don’t continue the potty training. You can resume potty training when you child again expresses an interest in learning to use the potty.
When your child has completed a visit to the potty, show your child how to flush the potty. Some children experience fear of the flushing mechanism: they fear that they themselves may be flushed away. You may need to flush the potty for your child for a period of time, until your child observes no harm resulting from each flush. At that time, your child should naturally develop a desire to try his/her own hand at flushing the potty. Once the potty is flushed, show your child how to wash his/her hands.
Calmly and patiently teaching your child how to use his/her potty can be a trust-building, bonding experience for both of you. Let the potty begin!

Hi there,

I'm going to send you a link that I have found amazingly helpful in both my work with toddler/preschoolers and their families as well as my own:

http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile...

Scroll down to "When are Children Ready for Toilet Learning?" and you'll find a comprehensive assessment checklist. This site, by the way, is for Early Childhood Ed students. I've helped a great many children learn to use the toilet, and this site has the best advice I have found. Children have to be self-motivated for toileting to be successful; if we wait until they are ready, things go so much better.

My son is an example. At three, I wasn't seeing signs of interest; four months later, it was time. We used just training pants (no pull-ups, they prolong toilet training and are a cause of power struggles, I have seen this over and over again). Within two weeks, we were dry all day. Within two months we were staying dry in underwear at night. (less usual, I know). Because we waited until he was motivated to stay dry, we avoided a lot of power struggles. He still has an occasional accident (4.5 years old now), but we're dry 99.9% of the time.

Be patient, check out the assessment list, and good luck!
and just to add- if anyone is still reading this, I totally respect Dana's advice. I come from a child caregiver approach, and I know this differs from a purely parenting approach. :)

My guy did the exact same thing, so I followed this and it worked for us, he'll be 3 in April. And find your "power incentive," it will work wonders!
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

Average age for being toilet ready is age 3. i think most kids before that jsut aren't ready and if they are 'trained" it could be the parents who are really the ones who are trained. :o)

My son was a to u gh one - but I watched Dr. Phil's show on guaranteed potty training in 3 days and it worked. All about only positive reinforcement. Tell them if you use the potty for three day with no diapers we will have a party. When they use the potty you cheer - throw confetti in the air, call a special person and tell them in an over-enthusiatic way - how proud you are of your child, it's so awesome, etc. If there's a favorite TV charector (Dora, or whoever) tell them you'll call them and let them know. Then call the leave a message for "Dora" and ask her to call you back. When she calls back put your child on the phone so Dora can congratulate her. My son was enamored with Billy Blazes the rescue hero so we called "Billy Blazes" and "he called back" and my husband's best friend called, talked to my son and told him how awesome it was that he used the toilet, etc. Later, when he made a mistake it was no big deal - we just changed him, very matter of factly - not ignoring it, but not saying anything negative - we said "OK, lets' get out of these wet underpants and get some dry ones on". Next successful potty time plenty of praise, and call grandma or Aunt Susie, get a few m&m's and talk about how you look forward to having cupcakes and a party - that you know she'll do great - and how excited you are. The 2nd day bake cupcakes together, as she stirs the batter talk about how you know she's going to do great today - you're so proud of her. Be affectionate - again, any mistakes are no big deal, kiss on the top of her head, change out of the wet stuff into dry. when she successfully uses the potty - "YAY!" - lots of congratulations, call a special person, confetti, m&ms, a little bit of soda maybe and talk about the upcakes and the party planned for tomorrow.

Then, when she's been dry have the party - invite special peopld, grandparents, special aunts, cousin, best buddy from next door, etc.

My son was 3 yrs, 3 mos when this did the trick. Never looked back. My daughter was just under 3 when she was good all day long. She was not able to stay dry through the night until sometime in 1st or 2nd grade- and that's just immature hormone levels to the kidneys. Thankfully we had pull-ups at night and now that she's 15 I can't remember the last time she wet the bed. hahaha. ;o)