No, you can't go outside, you don't have any pants on.
You know, you really shouldn't touch people you don't know.
Why are you yelling? I am standing right here.
and lastly
Yes, I know you're are stuck, hold on I will get you out. Why did you crawl in there in the first place?
Has anyone else noticed these similarities, or is it just me?
BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Oh my, that's just hilarious...
...and sadly, 100% true ;)
Other thing's:
-You're in my personal space.
-You do not need to talk right in my face! Close talker alert!
-No, I will not give you a quarter to ride the pony in the mall.
-You threw up WHERE?!
I think you need to lay off the bottle. (added:as my daughter when she was little would just carry around an empty formula bottle)
What do you mean the seatbelt is stuck?
You are not driving, I am, sit back and be quiet.
Yes, the radar detector means a cop is up here somewhere...can you just not talk?
I know you have to pee, the closest place is home and we are almost there.
Well, you can play with my keys, but, no, you cannot drive my car!
Tehehe, great post, enjoyed reading all the responses!
:)
Hahahahaha!!!! I love your post, that is so funny, and so true.. yes they do tend to act alike..
and the "oh, careful, you are going to fall down if you do that!!"
"Put your shirt back on, THIS INSTANT!"
and "Please don't lay on the floor.. its filthy!"
"Now look what you've done, you have food all over your shirt!"
"I don't think you need any more to drink, you are going to wet the bed!"
"No you CANT pee in the closet!"
LOL!
Thats hilarious!!!
With one of my friends I have to say "Honey, put your shirt down, thats not very ladylike."
God love them!!
OMG I find myself saying things like this all the time! I file it under "Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Child."
-- Please don't pee on the floor.
-- You are too old for a sippy cup.
-- You are too big to ride in the shopping cart, and no, we're not getting the car one.
-- No, I don't want to see the Woody in your underwear. (hehehe)
haha, love it. thanks for the morning laugh.
I'll add a few more:
"Quit bouncing off the walls, youremaking the pictures go crooked."
"If you don't get up and get in bed you are gonna hafta just lay their on the floor all night."
"Next time your tummy feels funny, PLEASE try to make it to the toilet."
I've said for years that training a dog is just like training a toddler.
How often have you said these things to your dog/toddler?
Sit DOWN!
Stay!
Get that out of your mouth....that's icky!
Lay down!
Stop chewing on the _______!
Stop that barking/yelling/shrieking!
Don't drink out of the toilet!
Get off of the couch with your dirty paws/hands!
:o)
There are more...but I'll leave you to it!
We have a friend who used to ask my husband "how are the drunken midgets?"
"I know you reeeeeally have to pee, we will be there in a minute."
Yes, honey your privates are fun ... but not for everyone to see!
This is hilarious! =D Exactly what I needed to read on a Monday morning!
I'm laughing out loud thinking about some of the things that I have said to my now 6 year old son and then turned around and said them to my drunk 35 year boyfriend.
-"Stop crawling on the floor, you are going to put holes in your pants."
-"Where are your shoes? And why aren't you wearing socks?"
-"You put your underwear on backwards"
-"You have to hold my hand and walk next to me, you can't run off in front of me, somebody might take you."
-"You need to calm down and relax, there are too many people around to be acting this way."
-"Watch where you're going." or "Watch what you're doing"
-"Please don't talk with food in your mouth."
-"Don't put that in your mouth, you could choke."
-"Jackets are not capes, you can not fly!"
-"It is way past your bedtime"
-"No, I can't carry you, you're too big."
-"What is all over your face? How did you get so dirty?"
-"You are not a ninja!"
Oh, thank you so much for posting this!
I couldn't resist because I just had to say this to my son...Uhhuhh....take the lamp shade off your head, right now!
lmao!!
use your inside voice.
next time you'll know better
you can't just pee anywhere you want
nobody wants to see your naked butt
did you just upchuck in the backseat of the car
VERY funny!
"Will you stop grabbing my boobs please?" <--- My husband and 3yr old son.
"OH MY GOD... WHAT did you eat??? That smells SO bad!"
"Big boys and girls go pee on the potty." <--- To my ex [after he wet the bed @ 30yrs old and our daughter [while potty training].
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!!?" <--- That is my 'famous' one.
You just wet yourself! :p
Now to read all the answers, funny question. :)
So true, so true. lol
In my early 20's I worked in a daycare center during the day and cocktail waitressed at night. The similarities between the two jobs were disturbing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVE IT!
How about: "We gotta go now. We don't have to go home but we can't stay here!"
"If you would watch where you were walking, you wouldn't fall down!"
You are soo right. I really don't have anything to add other than thank you so much for this post. Yours and all the responses you are getting are hilarious!! I needed a laugh this morning. Thank you!! LOL....
LOL!...thanks for the laugh. I can't think of anymore but I will enjoy reading the replies as they come in.
Updated
LOL!...thanks for the laugh. I can't think of anymore but I will enjoy reading the replies as they come in.
hahaha!!! Great post!
LOL!! I just love your posts, J.! These are great!
You are so funny -
My husband & I have remarked in the past how dealing with children is like dealing with individuals "under the influence" -
Keep sharing your funny thoughts! :)
Hilarious! You made my day. This is my new best thing.
OMG - this is SOOOOO SAD but FUNNY!!!
-- "WE DO NOT PEE ON THE BEDROOM FLOOR!"
-- "Never climb in the ice cooler!" (@ Walmart - as I see my ex-then-alcoholic actually sitting in the ice cooler, atop the ice, door closed, peering out at me. Totally embarrassing, but I couldn't help but laugh because it was a really comical sight. sigh Thank GOD he's sober now. But also something the kids need to know to NEVER do...
