Share the Brilliance of Your Parenting Creativity

Sometimes when I can't get their attention I will sing what I want them to do instead of speak. They take notice, laugh at me a bit and then do what I say....usually!

Every Friday or Sat. night we have popcorn and M&Ms and watch a movie. It was always a struggle to get them to brush their teeth after the movie was over. They would take 20 minutes arguing or playing around in the bathroom. I was tired of being the bad guy standing at the door griping. So recently, after they were finished with their popcorn, I paused the movie and told them to go brush their teeth. If they did it quickly, they could watch the rest of the movie. If they fussed or played around, they would have to finish it the next day. Worked like a charm. What usually took 20+ minutes took about 5 and they were ready for bed as soon as the movie was over.

Maybe not brilliance, but definitely useful things in my own life:

- Anything (chore) that can be made into a game will happen 10x faster than anything with a reward or punishment at the end of it done 'normally'. (Ex: Instead of just putting clothes in the washer or: I SAID TO aaaaargh ...HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO... run by the washing machine at top speed and lob "grenades" into it... variation; slide by it on your knees. Or NO! Don't just put your toys away!!! You have to toss it in the air first. Haha! Like this! Mine went higher! Nope. No do overs! Next! Ha! I got the next one fastest!" OR "I need the floors washed, guys. Get over here. Okay. 1 sponge for your foot. 1 sponge for the other foot. " OR "Can't stop dancing" cleaning, OR "Can't stop talking" cleaning). By making the mundane/tedius fun, it just happens.

((Similarly for those whose kids hate homework... try taping their homework to the underside of the table. It's Sistine Chapel Day! Or pinning it to a wall at the end of a long hallway and having them roll on their bellies on a skateboard. ONLY ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME. Roll back! HW gets done, kids have fun doing it.))

- Tying 2 kids fighting to each other at the waist and leg. (Hilarity ensues, plus they actually have to work together to do anything.)

- Overpay your gravity bill one day. ((since you can't forget to pay it and float around, having to crawl around in an overly dramatic manner works in a pinch)) (this is because the running in the house was killing my headache, so for the rest of the day we used herculean effort to propel ourselves along the floor. I even cooked on the floor sending the kids -my niece and nephew were living with us- on dangerous mission up into the cupboards to fetch down the tools we needed. My headache took about an hour, but we spent the rest of the day flattened on the floor.)

- always respond to children the same way I want them to respond to me. As in, I always say please and thank you. GASP and apologize profusely when I forget a please or thank you.

- make things I don't want them doing (but aren't disallowed) sound like hard work for older kids BUT be really excited about it (you know; the kind of fake excitement kids can spot a mile away)

- beat them to the punch. If I know there's something my son (or multiple kids) will NOT want to do I sometimes 'beat them to it'. I whine, moan, flop about, groan that I do not not not want to do X. Even though I know I'm supposed to. Even though not doing it means this other thing. Ha. Shoe on the other foot transfers. "But mom, you NEED to do x." or "Well, if you don't want to do x, can you figure out a way to...". As in I make him or them problem solve it / convince me on why it needs to be done. HEHEHEHE. ;)

I recently discovered that I can get my older daughter to do almost anything if I tell her she can't do it, unless she (fill in impossible challenge here). For instance, she wanted to read Harry Potter 6. I wasn't so sure about that, and told her so. She asked what she could do to earn the right to read it. I told her, "Okay, if you read books 1-5 again, then you can read book 6." I figured it would take her another year. Uh, no, she started re-reading them in July, and she has about 100 pages of book 5 left now. O_o

Having figured that out, I put that knowledge to work! She asked if she could take tap lessons in addition to ballet this year. I said that I didn't know about that because... (drumroll)... that would mean a lot of extra laundry. (BAHAHA - I mean, not really, but follow me on this one...) So she says, "If I help you with the laundry, can I take tap?" YEEHAH! Luckily for me, my younger daughter jumped on board with this as well, and so now they both do the laundry. ALL OF IT. They sort the laundry, put the detergent in the washer, put the clothes in, manage to choose the correct settings (!), put everything in the dryer. I'm telling you, all this in exchange for a 1 hour tap dancing lesson weekly? Best deal ever for me! The best part of all is that they feel that they are earning their extra dance lessons, which helps them feel a sense of commitment they might not feel otherwise. Talk about a win-win.

So, that's my moment of parenting brilliance - the throwdown of the impossible challenge!

1) I tell my kids... AHEAD of time... what is going on, going to happen, what I expect, what they must do, and why.
THEN tell them, IF they do it, then they can do what they want after dinner for fun. As long as it is Q.. If not, they go to bed EARLIER.

2) I tell them I will tell their Teacher... if they act bratty.

3) I write down, anything they do not do or when they are acting like Trolls. A running list. Then, it is 'proof' of what they did not do. And then, they can't argue about it.

4) And I also... tell them "You can have a nice Mommy or a mean strict Mommy... it is YOUR choice, by how you choose to act." I also tell them "I will not cooperate with you, if you cannot be respectful back.."

brilliance over teaching respect/discipline....okay I'll bite!

smartest move I've ever made: I never sent my sons to clean their rooms independently. Instead, we did it as a team...but the kicker was they had to help clean mine...& the bathroom....& the kitchen....& ...... Win-Win for me!

Remember that commercial for a perfume 'if you want someone's attention...whisper'

I think that's how it went...BUT...it works!! Whispering (the perfume I cannot speak to...lol)

Anxious to read more...the singing one is cute too!

Michele/cat

Those 4 small words that mean so much and worked so well.

There IS no 'why'.

Shut them the hell up EVERY time!

tehehe, great post!

:)

1. I say "Whatever you do, DON'T HUG NANA. DON'T! Don't do it!" so he runs and gives her a hug with a grin on his face.

2. I let his dinosaur chicken nuggets "go swimming" in the ketchup. Then they go have a "party in his tummy." All 3 nuggets need to join the party or it just won't be any fun. Also, we make the dinosaurs scream "Oh no! Don't eat me! Oh man, you ate my tail! Oh owie owie owie! Please don't eat my body!"

3. When trying to enourage him to use the potty, I tell him he can shoot his 'bullets' (pee) into the potty.

4. When the kid is fussing, or starting to cry, I make a fart noise with my mouth and say "Ewww. You farted!" and that fixes it almost immediately. Cries turn to the best giggles.

5. We have a contest to see who can eat a bigger bite - me or my son.

Thanks for that hand-holding solution. I'm trying that tomorrow. My son will love it.

We got back a month ago from seeing my sister and her kids. My daughter fell in love with her kids and talks about them daily. She told me she wanted to wear big girl underwear like her cousin. I said fine, but you have to sit on the potty. She's been afraid of the potty for months after a bad poop incident. Now she sits on the potty all the time to be like her cousins. Everything is about doing what her cousins do. For the big stuff, she should do what I tell her to and I shouldn't have to coach her, but for small stuff, she will do it now because her cousins do it, and I will use it until it doesn't work anymore.

my little boy is very competitive. He tries to get his pajamas on before I do He tries to get dressed before Daddy finishes shaving etc etc If I say go to the bathroom before we leave he says" I dont have to!" I say we're both going to the bathroom before we get in the car and I'm going first so he says No He's First!

I keep kids 3-4 1/2 right now, including my own wild 3 year old. They get wild and crazy all the time, to get their attention, I say, "Who has their listening ears on?" Like little soldiers, they all stop what they are doing and cup their hands around their ears and get Q.. I love it and the parents think it's hilarious to see!

See I just use simple dog commands. Sit, stay, heel. :p Perhaps threaten them with dog crates. :)

Seriously though I used to just say things to them. As my older daughter put it we just weren't sure if you were serious or not.

Ahh Sandy's post reminded me of a game we played in the car. We called it the silent game. See who could stay silent the longest. Hehe. What is funny is my older two were so pissed when they realized what I was doing yet when I had my younger two and they were out of control in the car, there was my older daughter going, lets play the silent game!!!

Lies. Plain and simple. LOTS of creative lies. LOL
Love this Q!

Love what some have posted so far! Great ideas!

My daughter does not always like me taking pics of her, and I like taking lots of "action shots" where she is playing on the beach, etc. So when she starts freaking out and yelling "No pictures! No pictures!" I just tell her that I am not taking a picture of her, I'm taking a picture of the ocean, the boat, etc. Worked well at 3, but now she is 4 and seems to be catching on to me. She's started saying, "No you're not! I don't want any pictures!"

I also will tell her "Whatever you do, don't smile! And don't giggle either! No giggling! Hey, I told you not to giggle!" And she will start to instantly crack up.

Never underestimate the effectiveness of bribery.

I use the word "danger!" to indicate immediate likelihood of physical harm.

I use the word "no!" for something I disapprove of.

Ignoring "danger!" carries extremely big penalties. But I very rarely have to use them. My kids know that I don't yell "danger!" lightly. They push the boundaries on "no!", as is age appropriate. But they don't ignore the "danger!" call, no matter how mad they are at me.

This means that I've always got a pretty good way of keeping them away from speeding cars, sharp knives, and leaping flames......even if they're in the middle of a temper tantrum and really, really not interested in listening to anything I have to say. :)

OMG, I came up with something almost exactly like this at the grocery store the other day. The variation was that I made my hand into a duck bill held it behind me while saying 'quack, quack.' They had to be my ducklings and follow (they are aged 4.5 and 9).