Theft at Middle School

I think the saying goes:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

A lesson learned. I would cut him a break.

I would chalk it up to a lesson learned. He had reason to believe that his sports bag was in a safe enough location -- that it was too high for other's to reach. Now he knows better.

Assuming this was a one-time thing, and that your son isn't chronically neglectful with his belongings, I would just say "lesson learned" and move on. No sense in punishing him for something someone else did.

Isn't it bad enough that his bag was stolen and strewn everywhere? Why on earth do you want to punish your child for being a victim? He obviously thought no one could get to it. Will it even fit in a locker with all of his books and everything? I think he's learned his lesson just fine.

I say he has learned his lesson through natural consequences. Tell him tha tyou are unhappy he was careless, but it is a shame anyone would do that and tha tis punishment enough. However, if something was stolen, I might make him earn a new one through shores or saving money.

I would NEVER punish my child because someone else took it up themselves to take his property and throw is all over the place. Could he have placed in somewhere like his locker? Maybe. But how long has he been doing this where no one touched it? I think you are sending the wrong message to punish him. I am sure he is extremely upset as it is. You should be there to support him, not to make him more miserable.

I would not punish my child for something someone else did. There was no reason for someone else to take his bag. It's not like he left it on the floor for someone to kick around.

I think he should pay to have the items replaced if he's foolish enough to not lock up his bag. He's lucky the coach found his equipment. He won't be so lucky next time.

I think that this is more of a "moral of the lesson" opportunity than a punishment opportunity.

Just have a talk w/ him letting him know what your expectations are RE: how he manages all of his belongings and as far as a 'punishment' I would say that if he is negligent like this again,he will have to pay to replace any lost/damage items. Good luck

No I wouldn't punish your son, he's already been violated by theft. I think he has probably learned a lesson the hard way.

If you were unable to replace his sports equipment, that would be punishment enough....thank God his items were found. The person/persons who need to be punished would be the ones who took his things and tossed all around the school.

Blessings....

I would make him replace the items not found. Are there security camera's in the hall way where they could see who took it?

Back when I was in school if you played a sport you got an extra locker for your sports bag. I also went to a small school that had extra lockers. It was the norm to just leave your bag on top of the lockers or in the hall next to your locker and nobody really messed with them. When they did get messed with it was a coach/teacher who took it because they tripped over it or an upper classman as some type of initation. If a coach/teacher had it we usually had to run to get it back.

Well I would say to let him know that's a good lesson, you cannot trust ANYone. My stuff got stolen all throughout school & nothing was ever done about it but in my case, my things were taken right out of my hands, I would never leave anything unattended. As far as 'punishment' you could if you think it'd do good but also, losing his bag & items in the bag is also a good lesson not to leave things unattended. I'd say punish if it happens again & just use this experience as punishment enough b/c while he should've known it might happen & should've never assumed it wouldn't & was a bit naieve in that way about it, he prob really didn't think or realize. I think it'd be different if you had told him not to in the first place & he did it anyway but I think he learned something from this & that, to me, is a good way to punish, as long as kids learn from their mistakes & don't do it again. Kids can & usually do learn from their mistakes w/o physical punishment at the first mistake as long as you explain to them why they shouldn't do that but if they do it again, then physical punishment may be necessary such as making him pay for the replacements or if people know who did it, making them pay for the replacements or even taking away sports privilages all together if it keeps occuring. I believe in punishing but only if, in my opinion, it's needed. As far as someone else being able to reach the bag, it's very easy to find something to reach up & knock it off w/a broom handle or something like that, or even go to the extreme of one getting on another's shoulders to reach it or using a chair...many ways to have gotten that off the topside of the lockers. Mean kids will take advantage of ANY opportunity to get at someone. Hope this helps! good luck.

Why would you even consider punishing your son? He is the VICTIM here!! Someone took his property and trashed it. I would be asking the school to replace it if necessary.
Yes, it should have been placed in a locker but probably wouldn't fit. The other option I see is leaving it in his coach's office or the school's main office. But I doubt if either person would take responsibility for your son's stuff. Unless you want to have to keep the stuff with you and take it to school daily so he has his stuff when he needs it.

Are you saying that he was expected to have his belongings in the locker? I wouldn't want to 'punish' my kids for someone else taking their stuff. I would want them to learn a lesson. I think he's learned a lesson from embarrassment of having his stuff around the school to lock his stuff up next time. If he's still missing things, you could have him pay to replace them.

It doesn't sound like he did something unreasonable. What is the school doing to find the kids who did this? Is there a more secure place he can put his bag? I think he probably feels pretty humiliated already. Is this an on-going issue with him or a one time deal?

He probably learned his lesson with having his items strewn all over campus.

I'm not a big advocate for "punishing" kids - but I am fan of discipline and consequences. I think that using discipline through natural consequences is the most effective teaching tool we have a parents. He has already experienced part of the natural consequence of leaving his bag in the less than ideal place by his stuff getting thrown all over campus. At this point, I would just let the natural consequences continue to flow and allow him be responsible for replacing anything that wasn't recovered. Not sure how old he is, but maybe you can have him do extra chores to earn the money, or have him dip into his savings (if he has one). It's a great lesson learned if he invests his own money into replacing his things - he will (hopefully) be more conscious of how he takes care of them from here on out.

Hi, Mom -
I didn't get the initial impression that your son needed punishing. Sounds like he'd already have learned the value of securing his belongings. I would just make certain that he knows you won't be spending the money to replace those items of equipment should they be lost again because he is irresponsible with them and let it go at that.
Good luck.

Let him experience the natural consequences, while being empathetic and comforting (Love and Logic parenting -- look it up). No need to be punitive. Have him buy his own replacement equipment (or split the cost if it's too unrealistic at his age to pay for it all). Don't care about him playing sports more than he does. Earning and paying for it himself will be a more effective teacher than you nagging/punishing him for making a mistake (which we all do).

My parents didn't have a lot of money, so I had to pay for all my own dance clothes and shoes in high school (I even paid my own dance tuition). Boy did I learn a lesson when my hard-earned tap shoes were stolen. But it certainly wasn't my parents' problem, so they didn't need to do anything but be a listening ear while I vented about it. They didn't get angry or rush in to rescue me and replace them, nor did I expect it. I also had to pay for any replacement retainers when I lost or broke them (I went through six total. My parents paid for braces and the first retainer and after that I was on my own). Can you imagine how angry and upset they would be if they were having to fork over the money each time I lost or broke a retainer? They would probably yell, damaging the relationship. Instead they just put an arm around me and empathized with my plight when I had to pay for yet another retainer. I didn't magically become super responsible and stop losing them and I had to experience the consequences repeatedly, but it wasn't their problem so they didn't get mad.

no.
Your poor baby. This is a form of bullying. His stuff wasn't taken for their value, they were taken to upset your son. And i don't think it was just one person that did it or it would have taken too long to get them all over the place without being seen.I would make sure he is "on his toes" and be glad he's okay.

If it were me I wouldn't necessarily punish him, but I definitely wouldnt have much sympathy for the situation either. I would say what my parents often said to me as a child "that's what you get when you don't take care of your things." I would help replace the items, but he would definitely have to take on some extra chores in order to "pay down" the cost of the stuff so he can realize and appreciate the value and cost of the equipment. Maybe if he has to work hard to replace them he'll realize how valuable they are and take better care of them.