The Trouble Convincing...

Hi S.,

I can definitely relate. I am a mom of 1 wonderful 9yr old and I desparately wanted a second child. However, my husband did not. I agree with the other mom who said to sit down with your hubby and try to understand why he doesn't want another. With my husband, he couldn't even put it into words. Maybe once he thinks about it he will change his mind, but I wouldn't force or nag. It's important for him not to feel pressured. Try to think if it was the other way around - you didn't want another but he was trying to convince you...

It was very hard for me to accept, but I realized my husband had deeply rooted feeling on the subject. Although I still do not agree with my husband's reasons, he feels very strongly and I have to accept that. I decided that it was not worth the stress to our marriage to push the idea any further. I still have longings for that 2nd child, but am blessed with my family. I also have 2 cats and a dog to spoil as my "babies" :-) !

Either way, take every opportunity to cherish the family you do have. You and your husband are a team and have produced 2 wonderful children.

All the best,

L.

Count your blessings. I had difficulty having both of mine. My girlfriend has two girls and is thinking of having another because the husband wants the boy. I just keep telling her that remember it may be a girl.

Also as i know, kids are expensive. Depending on what you are going to let them do...ballet, softball,private school, just know that it is easier to provide for two not three.

And lastly if your husband says no then no it is. Listen to your man. Respect his decision.

I guess I'd sit down and really try to understand where your husband is coming from. I also sent through this when my youngest was around that age! I still get pangs. But as much as I would LOVE to be pregnant again and have another (and another and another) I know in my head that for a variety of reasons two is the right number for us. There's no easy answer. Just keep talking ... good luck!

Give it some more time, dear. Consider the fact that your husband may not want to share you with another child at this point. What with working and taking care of two little ones he may feel, subconciously, that he's taking a poor third in your life. Keep in mind how time consuming and emotionally and physically needy new babies are. He may be feeling like he's just now getting more your time and attention now that the youngest is a little more self sufficient. And he's already compromised on the two year old. He may just feel like he's 'given' enough on that subject. He might soften up in time, and yet he might not - but he does deserve to have his opinions respected. I'm not saying you're not giving him respect, I'm just trying to give a different perspective. It's not worth having another child if it causes your marriage to fall apart and the kids not to have a full time daddy.

Hi S., I am in the same situation. My husband and I have 2 wonderful boys and I am desparately wanting another baby. Not a boy or girl, just another bundle ofjoy. They are very expensive though and that is why my husband does not want another one. But, you are in control of whether you have another one because you will be the one caring for it pretty much the entire first year. I say go for it and have a little surprise. My first 2 were a surprise!!! They are wonderful. Let me know if you convince your husband and maybe the same tactic will work on mine. My neighbors have 4 and they are all because of her!!! She suggests to just keep talking about how wonderful another little with be to love.

Give it a little while. Your girls are still young, your oldest will be in school soon and that in itself will be a big adjustment. Maybe hubby is just tired and stressed as my husband and I are. (we have 2 girls ages 1 and 2)Give your husband time to enjoy the two girls you have and maybe as the girls get older and more self sufficent your hubby wont be so terrified of the idea of another baby. Plus, if your girls are older they will be a huge help with the new baby. I have a 9 year old sister that really helps me out with the little things like entertaining my girls and carrying bags of cuppys in and out of stores. Please don't push the issue your husband may change his mind when life slows down a little.

You may need to ask yourself if it is another child you want, or just that "sweet baby boy" because you cannot guarantee any sex or health of a baby. If you think you would be dissappointed if you had another girl, or think your husband would be dissappointed, then maybe the chance is to great to try. I never went into pregnancy hoping for a boy/girl and feel that if I did it wouldn't be fair to that child to always know that "mommy wanted a boy but she had me instead".

as a women..or young women i know how u feel but from the way you talk he's set on how he feels also. Sadly theres no way both of u can have both. maybe he'll come around after ur girls are a little older..maybe its to soon for him. If not then just try to give the love u have 4 3 kids to ur 2. Ive always wanted a girl but got 2 boys...and dont really want three kids seeing as im already stuck at home 24/7 with no car due to my husband working and no one babysits for me b/c they say my kids are to attached to me.

theres just something about your baby turning 2yrs that makes you want another one. you've been through a lot lately and everyone needs to settle into the new stuff before you put a new person into the equation. Think about it do you think your Baby is ready to not be the baby anymore? I know I'M not ready for my 2 yr old not to be the baby anymore mine needs to be the baby a bit longer. dont think about little toes and cute clothes and sighs etc, think about morning sickness, diaper duty and getting up in the middle of the night every 2-4 hrs. then having to deal with a toddler in the am too.