So my 7 year old asked me what sex is. I asked herwhere she heard itfrom, shesaid all over. Which i understand asit is all over tv, raido andi am sure some kids in school said it. I told her it is something a grown married couple who love each other very much does. She then asked me WHAT do they do. (yeah WOW) i told her they are naked and touch each other, she said she heard that they touch privats together. I told her yes they do. I asked her where she heard that from she said some kids were talking about it on the bus. I told her that is how married couples who love each other very much make babies. I also told her it is NOT something she should talk about to other kids. Since then she has asked me other little questions and i try my best to anwser honestly. I believe i need to be honest with her because I would like her to know she can always come to me and i would rather she heard it from me rather than kids in school. In this day thanks to tv and raido and internet and being able to read at a younger age kids know more. She handled the talk very well and i am hoping she realizes ahe can always come to me. She is a very smart little girl, he IQ is high average to superior and is very well adjusted. I know i am going to get a lot of different anwsers to Sthis but am wondering how others would have handled it and was i totaly wrong in what i told her? She has since told me she is NOT having babies though.
I say KUDOS to you for how you handled it. I love that she's come back to you and told you she is NOT having babies.
Sounds like you did a good job. I remember asking my mom if we could still leave our clothes on during sex when I was young, because the naked part freaked me out. But she also told me it's something private that shouldn't be joked about or spoken of with other people.
I'm sure she will her a lot of pretty disgusting stuff pretty soon, so hearing it told as honestly and respectfully as possible is always the best way to go, in my opinion. The older she gets, the more you can tell her.
Hi J.:
Your explanation was good and thorough.
When children ask about things, a way to help them learn is to
continue to ask them quesions about their questions to obtain further
insight into what they are really wanting to know.
Just a thought.
Good luck.
D.
It sounds like you answered it perfectly and beautifully. You didn't go into all the indepth details so didn't give too much information, but gave the honest information that she asked for. And when she asked for more information, you gave that honestly and truthfully as well.
In 6th grade, (at least in Calif.) the kid's have 2 weeks of Sex Ed. On the last day of it I took my daughter to a nice hotel that had slides and fun stuff. She and I stayed there and without any pressure I answered any questions she had, talked about tampons & pads, all that stuff. She and I had already talked about that before because she was maturing and I wanted her to know about it and also carry a "just in case" bag, but went into more depth at the hotel. It was a wonderful experience and she still talks about it today.
She's 7 so you don't need to worry about her not giving you grandbabies quite yet!!
Good luck and GOOD JOB!
I was really young when I asked my mom about sex....like right around that same age. I remember a friend has said something about sex at school and because I had no idea what sex was I went and asked my mom. She approached it like you. She told me the truth without going into way too much detail. And that was pretty much it. At that time of course I thought sex was gross and thought I would never do that haha. But I think it was great that my mom was honest and explained that it wasn't something you talked about with other kids. I think you did the right thing. Good job.
You did a great job. I heard that moms who want their daughters to be open with them as teens, need to be initiating talks no later than 8 years old, so perfect! I remember after that talk with my mom I asked, "Mom, when people are married, do they HAVE to have sex?" all scared. :)
When my older one asked me that question after first starting school, I responded with, "it's another way of saying 'gender' or boy or girl OR it could be a special love that mommies and daddies share and I'll tell you about THAT when you get older." She hasn't asked me since.
J.,
I think you handled it very well. I would do the same to my son or daughter. It is best they hear it from their parents instead of kids at school or on the school bus. If she has any questions about it and if you cant answer them maybe her dad would be able to answer them. If she comes to you about it then atleast she is getting her information from her mom and dad and not from someone that you dont even know. Ya it is going to be hard to explain it to my son when he gets older because his dad aint in his life. So I would have to explain it to him... I would go to your local library and look and see if they have a book as to where babies came from and you read it over and then you read it to hear and see if she has questions about the book afterward and then see if that helps...
I think you handled it very well. Keep up your good work at giving her the talk.
Good job way to go mama
S. & Baby Josh
You did good. :)
It's important to be honest with our kids. Some stuff is on a "need to know" basis and though I wouldn't have brought up the topic when my kids were that young, but had my kids brought it up then, I would have answered their questions.
I think the best thing you can do is be open and honest and answer her questions. You want her to be comfortable enough to come to you and not anyone else, especially as she gets older.
Hi J.~ When approached with this question "out of the blue", it can be over-whelming. I think you did a good job though. I have responded to several vry similar threads here. If you want to read through some of those, click on my name and read under "answers". You then will get the opinion of a lot of other Mamas as well. There have been so many, that I can not post all of the past links. Good Luck.
Be honest and as practical as possible for her age. I think at 7 years old her inititial response would be "ewee gross!" My girls responses were that.
I was very open with my daughters with all of their questions. I was not too graphic, just matter of fact, and I stressed the emotional aspects of sex and it is best to wait until they were much older before even considering a sexual relationship. Both my daughters were responsible with that education, and waited a long time. It doesn't mean everything will be coming up roses, but I feel that my job is to arm them with as much knowledge and experience as I can to prepare them for life outside the home. I also did not want them to get the wrong information from their friends.
I hope this helps!
M.
Boy, I bet that hit you like a ton of bricks!! So far I've been pretty lucky, my oldest son is 6 and although he has heard the word and tried using it once, he has not asked. He is homeschooled and although he still has many friends that do go to school, it just doesn't seem to be anything that is really in his life right now. However, when my friends oldest daughter was 9 she came home and told her mom that she had lied to her about it. That her friends told her all about it. So the only real suggestion that I can give that I'm going to do that I learned from my friends situation is to continue to talk to her about it and try to beat her friends to the punch. You don't want her to learn aboout it from her friends because you don't know what else they would be teacher her or in what mannor they are presenting it with. If her friends seem to know more about it than you do she might end up prefering to get her advise from them than you. But if you tell her that you are going to teach her all about it, more that probably what her friends know she will listen to you. Just be 100% sure that she understands the major importance about not discussing it with ANY one of her friends. Tell her it's like going to the bathroom, every one goes poop but it's nothing that you talk about. You don't want her to learn things that she doesn't need to know about at that age, and I'm sure you don't want her to be the reason another parent is hit with the same bricks.
