"The Talk" - Appleton,WI

I say you talk with them about it when they start asking questions. Just be honest and use language they can understand. They will let you know if they need more information, so just answer the questions and let them lead the direction.

i started at age 3, when she had walked in while i was in the bathroom...LOL! she was taught the medical terms at that age, too! Other parents were upset when she was hit by a little boy, and she yelled out to the adjacent teacher, "james hit me in my vagina area!" I got the "dreaded call," but i stood my ground and kept the medical terms, becuase she did not need to learn the kiddie names, or other terms that define her genitalia... I did tell her that she needed to walk over to the teacher next time instead of yelling it across the playground... but, she kept the terms, I told the teacher that the parents needed to work out their own issues with their genitalia, but my child was going to be proud to express the right terms for them, and take charge of who has contact with her personal areas, and defend herself, if she is ever in a situation of someone might her whether in tentional or not!! One of the best books for parents and children is the Boston's women and Mens health coalition, Our bodies, ourselves, this is an indepth book, where all matters are discuss, and pictures are provided. I have used it for years in my work with communicable disease, even with mature older adults... you will be surprised how many parents failed to teach their kids, for the fear they will have sex... Most learned the wrongs things, from the streets, but it is better to teach your children, to make them informed consumers, including condom use, sex assualt prevention, how to verbalize about stranger danger; contraception for both sexes; female anatomy; dieting, positive self image, positive self image, the use of media to distort images, the effects of television and videos games to send imprper concepts about women and girls; the effect of music with misognistic messages against women; child rearing and parenting; and mastrabation. Teach your child about sex, so they can be informed consumers about their own bodies, before they share it with others... Each topic does not have to be in-depth , but, appropriate for the question asked and the age of the child... Kotex still provides the handouts and pads info for new menses participants... remember those, and condom information is for both sexes... Just because the child is under the opposite sex recognition/dating age of 12, does not mean they are not exposed to sexual content. As parents, we have a responsibility to educate our children, not just think that abstinence works, because it does not... If relgion is your baseline of what your child to know, do not think avoiding the "talk," will protect them, becuase thier peers will win... Prepare them with teaching the values you want them to maintain, but TEACH THEM!!! I have had to counsel children as young as 5 years old for sexual content and contact... So make my job easier... Teach them, before someone else does...

I think that instead of "the talk" you should think about it more like a series of conversations. You can start talking to them about their bodies when they are little and answer questions age appropriately. Then, as the kids get older, talk about feelings/body changes. Also, getting a couple of good, age-appropriate books from the library can be good, as a way to let them "explore" on their own in safe, supervised way (obviously, you'll need to skim through or read the book to make sure you're with how the info is presented, etc.)

My little guy is too young yet (just 2), but my mom handled these discussions in our house, with the boys and the girls. And she always made sure that I knew that if I had any questions I could come to her. I think with girls its different, in that more happens to us (we have a period, and boys don't) and so we think about the physical aspect differently, maybe... She said that us girls always asked more questions about body changes, and that the boys were too embarrassed (once they hit puberty) to ask much.

Anyway, when I was allowed to date (real dates, one on one), my mom had the "official" talk, about how it's easy to get carried away with emotions/feelings, but that there is a line that should never be crossed, and it was important to be safe (and explained what that meant, of course). Of course I was embarrassed, but I was glad that she did that. My parents are Catholic, so there was offer to put me on the pill and sex was a sin outside of marriage... but that if I couldn't control myself (not the exact words she used, but it was the general idea), that I needed to use protection. And that no matter what choices I made, my parents would still love me, and that my parents trusted me to make the right decisions (no pressure there, right?!? LOL). :)

I started talking to my kids about our bodies years ago - they're 13, 10 and 8. Start while they're quite young by talking about body parts, their correct names and how they're "private", etc and build on that. At this point, my 13yr old pretty much knows what happens "physically" and we're now talking about the emotions and feelings associated with boy/girl relationships, how peer pressure can be difficult, etc. My 10yr old and 8yr old are fully aware of what happens during puberty, menstrual cycles, etc but aren't yet completely knowledgable about "what goes where" during sex. I think they're still a tad too young. But when the time comes, because we've been open about all of this, it'll just be an extension of what they already know. It's an ongoing process as opposed to "having the talk" one time that's filled with awkwardness and blushing.

We started talking when daughter was a toddler. Open communication is crucial to get the children to continue talking through their teens.

We want her to feel comfortable to talk about anything and we have always been very open and honest.

If you feel uncomfortable, talk while you are driving or walking.

Our school is showing 'the video' about body changaes to the 4th and 5th graders this week. Age 9-12y.

my parents never did, we learned it in school.

I started off with my children at very young age ( 2-3). They have witnesses my dog littering. My daughter ( now 8 yrs.) knows about menstruation cycle as our dog used to bleed once every six months. I have pretty much kept them close to nature topics. I keep telling them how they were born, that they share secret codes from me and father.

As Kristin rightly said below, they maynot(?!) be aware as what goes where during.... We never had a talk about this with our parents, blame it on our culture. But hearing it from same age group may be better than an adult sitting for a lecture. One step at a time. I will wait for the right moment to make it as less awkward as possible.

Start young, around 5, with age appropriate terms, and work up each year until you give the full sex talk at about 11 or 12.

The best advice I've been given (from an early childhood teacher) was in two parts. First, teach them the correct, anatomical names for all their body parts and that these are private areas, only for your child (and sometimes parents for washing and doctors for making sure you're healthy.) Then, answer their questions as they come up - but only give the information that your child is actually asking for. If your child asks a question that seems to invite The Sex Talk, ask her to describe what it is she's curious about, then answer those questions honestly and specifically. (The funny example is this teacher's own child, who asked "Where did I come from?" - meaning, not, "tell me about sex" but: "what town was I born in?")

The questions will continue to circle back over the years, getting more specific and in depth as time goes on. Start early, remembering that answering their specific questions is the best way to assure yourself you're not giving them more info than they're ready to handle.

As for books, I'm still a big fan of "Where Did I Come From?"
http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/08184...

I read it when I was five, and my son read it when he was 4-1/2.

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Big-Secret-Talking-about/dp/0...

This is by Marc Brown (the guy who creates "Arthur") - less about the sexual act, really just about the reproductive system. Good info, but I prefer "Where Did I come From " for it's humor and frankness.

I've learned not to assume my kids understand what they've learned in school sex ed or from you-encourage them to ask you questions. My 12 yr old super student had 1 period and then had an ovary removed due to a weird tumor the size of a melon. During her hospital stay, she had to have a catheter inserted 3 times. Until then she didn't know there was a separate hole for pee and one for reproduction. Also, a good yr before her 1st period, she asked when she should start wearing the tampon I gave her, in case her period started, she wanted to have it in. I'm buying a good book with pictures