The Sex Talk - Geneva,IL

I probably will be doing homeschool or private school with my kid-- no way do I want the public school trying to educate my kid about this subject! I think for young kids it's best to educate them more about their own body rather than overloading them with info about the other gender. Then they can learn bits and pieces as they go, rather than having it all dumped on them with "the talk." I honestly think most books about this are too informative for the ages they are marketed for. (No criticism intended for those who like this approach; some books for older kids are helpful.)

It was ongoing from a young age, just adding more info as we went along. There are a ton of great books on the subject so we just picked out one from the library every so often (or I picked it out, with help from the librarian).

I agree with OnePerfectOne about using the correct names for body parts. Creating all kinds of euphemisms reinforces that it's a taboo and unnatural subject. We told him the slang people use, of course, but always used the correct terms.

The more you make it part of life, the easier it is to broach the subject.

Trio

For us? The talk isn't just ONE talk, it's a conversation that happens over time and situations...it's important for people to know the CORRECT names of body parts. It really helps in picking up cues from kids and their conversations.

We have allowed the school to "inform" the kids, but we ALWAYS ask questions. There have been some W. stories told (i have a freshman in high school) and we've corrected those.

When situations present themselves? We have a talk. We ask questions, state our beliefs, morals, values, etc. For example, when our kids were younger? We LOVED (well, I still do) the Magic School bus. We have a book about farts. Yep! A book about farts - we have two boys - and while I would prefer the term Passing Gas? Yeah - my boys LOVE "FART". That book was GREAT when they were 4 and 5 years old - as it showed how the body worked at THEIR AGE level.

Now that they are 12 and 14? We have two Human Anatomy (one is the Encyclopedia of the Human body - it's HUGE and has EVERYTHING in it) and the other is a small book, more like a pocket reader, on the Human body) books in the bathroom that we use mainly during the day. They ask questions - we answer. It's NOT ONE conversation or talk! You keep it moving and going! Keeping the lines of communication open is the best way. LISTENING to your kids when they talk.

Good luck!

Well, I started by teaching my son the proper terminology for body parts from the get go--along with "nose" "eyes" "arms" and "legs."

When he started being aware of pregnancies, pregnant women, new babies, I told him when a couple loves each other and want a baby, God gives ten O. by putting a baby in the mommy's belly. We talked about pregnancy. When he asked if the baby was cut out, I explained labor and told him babies come out from the uterus through the vagina.

I think he was almost 10 when I connected the last dot. (Because he asked--gotta love middle school!)
So that last "connection" was "the talk" I guess, but it was very easy since we had laid the groundwork early with a series of talks beginning when he was really little with terminology, etc...

We have been talking about sex or the body in some form from the start, using proper terms for body parts and the like. My boys are now 9 and 11. Last year we got them the book "It's perfectly normal" and we had my then 10 year old read each chapter out loud while my 9 year old followed along. When they had questions we stopped and discussed them, and if they did not understand something I explained. There were parts when my son said things like "so that is what has been happening to me" and that told me it was definitely time to start getting into more depth with them. We continue the "talk" as ongoing because I want them to always feel that it is normal to talk about our bodies and sex and that they can come to me anytime they have questions, concerns, or just want to talk something out.

We've never really had just one "talk" - we have conversations about stuff as it comes up. I'm not sure there's anything my kids feel like they can't ask me and/or talk about. And if there is something too embarrassing to ask me, they know they can just write it down and I'd respond that way. When they were little, we had the books teaching them about their bodies, etc., and discussed things then as well.

I don't really think there is a "right" age - it's "right" when they start asking questions. Keep it age appropriate and especially when they're little, answer their question as briefly as possible - if they're satisfied with the answer then you wait for the next question.

This reminds me of a funny story my mom told me years ago. There was a little kid that asked his mom "where'd I come from?" Well, the mother went into this whole hour-long discussion of the birds and bees, etc. and when she's finished, the little kid has this funny look on his face. The mom asks: "does that answer your question?" The little kid looks at his mom and says, "Well, that's really different than what Johnny said." Mom asks: "Why? What did Johnny say?" Kid: "He thought I came from Ohio, just like him!" OOPS!!

Good luck!

Ongoing conversation, not just the talk. My church does an ongoing program, age appropriate, starting in 1st grade. Kids need to know how their bodies work and not be ashamed. They need to understand modesty. They need age appropriate understanding. They need to know the REAL words for their body parts - this helps medically, and also if something inappropriate were to happen (unfortunately).

I think we started "the talk" at birth and will continue forever.

Our boys are 10 and 17 and we talk openly about sex AND relationships. So often it seems the relationship component gets left out.

Our 17yo has come to us with many questions through the years, and our 10yo is just beginning to have questions. We've already gone over all of the basics.

I teach high school and when we talk about the students that I have who are already parents it brings up lots of topics for discussion at home. We talk about choices, consequences, protection, etc. frequently.

i don't even remember, because i don't recall One Big Talk. age-appropriate conversations can and should start from the time they can identify their bits.
naturally while they're tiny it needs to be very, very simple indeed.
i certainly didn't leave it up to the schools (although that was how i found out, and remember vividly what a huge eureka moment it was!)
khairete
S.

I got the book "it's not the stork" and read it to my kids when they were 7 and 3. That started the conversation. I don't think my 3 year old actually understood at all, so I'll read it to him again in a year or two.

My son loved The Magic School Bus" books, and had brought home several about how our bodies work - like how food gets digested, etc. So I brought it up with the perspective of "isn't it cool to learn another thing about how our bodies work?"

I told my granddaughter that if she had any questions I'd answer her truthfully. She came a day or two later she asked if kids her age could get pregnant. I told her yes but let's google it.

The first article that came up was where a 5 year old gave birth and her son grew up along side her. Then as we went through the lists it came to her age. There was page after page after page of skinny lines with first names, age, who reportedly got them pregnant such as grandfather, uncle, brother, father, etc...then if the baby was carried and delivered and stuff like that.

She was really shook up. I wish I hadn't told her we'd google it but I guess it's in the past now and she has a memory she can't get rid of.

I told her that if she had sex she ran the risk of getting pregnant no matter what age she was and she listened. I am seriously hoping this memory keeps her pants on until she's at least in college before she decides to engage in that intimacy.

I will always tell her the truth as best I know how.

It was an ongoing thing pretty much from the time she was able to form complete sentences. .
When she was four, she walked into the bathroom while I was changing a tampon and was worried that I was hurt because I was bleeding.
I explained to her, using accurate terminology, what was going on and why it was happening.
As she got older, she had more questions, and I answered them honestly.
She has know where babies came from since kindergarten.
At twelve, she took the OWLS class - a comprehensive sex ed program offered through the Unitarian church. I knew she knew all the basics, and she knew I was willing to answer any questions she might have, but I also knew there might be questions or topics that she would feel more comfortable discussing with a non-family mentor. The facilitators of the class were people I knew and trusted to give her good, factual information.