The Sex Talk

You can talk to her at any age about it. Just answer her questions and be as age appropriate as possible. It is much better to be open and honest and make her feel like she can talk to you.

Should you wait!?! What are you waiting for!?! I promised my hub that when we got married that I would NOT do to my DD what my mom did to me. NOT TALKING ABOUT IT!!!! Is it embarrassing? Yes. Is it Awkward? Yes. Is it needed? YYYEEESSS!!! Knowledge is power, my friend!!!! Tell that yound lady EVERTHING!!!!! She will NEEED that from you. Tell her everthing from menstral pains to sex...tell her about erections to clitoral pleasure...TELL HER EVERYTHING. All you have to do is be somewhat age appropriate. Use correct terminology. When they are two, sometimes saying "tee-tee" is fine...at nine, explain that that is your vagina and here is what it is for....AND ITS YOURS!!! It is sacred. It will be hers until she decides to share...no man can take that from her.

Teach her to be proud. Teach her about every little detail about her body...she deserves to know. Nine seems young....but our kids are getting their periods sooner these days....PREPARE THEM!!!

I know I will.

Mag

P.S. If you feel that you just cant...do your kiddo a favor...get a counselor. It will be the best money spent.

If she's old enough to ask a question, she's old enough to get an honest, age-appropriate answer.
You don't need to give her a Masters & Johnson seminar, but it sounds like she's ready for the basics on how babies are made.
My daughter walked in on me changing a tampon when she was four, and wanted to know why I was bleeding. I explained menstruation to her in terms she could understand. As she got older, and her questions got more complex, I gave her more info. By the time she was your daughter's age, she knew what male and female body parts were called, and their roles in making babies.

My son had a basic sex talk at age 4, a more complex one at 5, and so it goes every time he has a question, I answer it. I also bring up stuff to him, regularly. I want to make sure we have a comfort level so when the really big stuff hits... He comes to me and talks to me. I would talk to your daughter now. If she's hearing what 12, 13 and 14 year old girls and boys are saying, she's got questions and, as a parent, I would want to be the one answering those questions. There are many good books that can help you with the topic.
Good luck on the birds & the bees.
S.

My sister is quite a bit younger than me so I was out of the house when this happened, but when she was about 8 she asked my mom a question about something. So my mom felt that if she was old enough to ask, she was old enough to get an answer.

Turns out she was old enough to ask pretty much EVERYTHING, and my poor mom was totally unprepared. But she answered every single question, down to the mechanics of it all. She called me later and told me about it, it was so funny, but it was a good thing she did because my sister got her period a couple months later in school and was completely calm about it. She just asked to go to the nurses office and took care of it. The nurse was freaking out thinking she was going to have tell my sister about it all, and my sister just told her she already knew it. Besides my mom's squirming in the hot seat, the whole thing went very well and turned out for the best.

I plan to be up front with my kids and tell them whatever they ask about. I learned about this stuff long before my mom sat me down and told me anything. But I was smart enough to look stuff up in real books that I heard the older kids talking about so at least I had good information. Both my sister and I made good choices later, and I think that was because we had good information.

With your daughter, I would sit her down and just tell her that whenever she has some questions about things she hears, to let you know. I bet she starts right then. It's awful that they don't get to be kids longer now, but like I said, I knew about it all long before my mom thought I would know about it. Better that she get honest information from you.

Hello L.,

It saddens me how soon today's children learn about things beyond their years, but it's a fact of today's life. It's best for you to talk to her about sex ASAP in a educational way, (this is what, why and how). If she is hearing about this from school girls, she may get wrong information or incomplete information. She may want more information and try googling "sex" online, won't that be a bad search engine result!!

Since she is exposed to older kids, talk to her now.

Good Luck!

R. Magby

We started out with our daughter about the proper names for her body parts since she was born. At 8 we started talking about sex in a kind of basic explanation about how babies were made... She was pretty revolted..
She was in the back seat of the car while I was driving, so she told me she was glad t was not face to face. That night we sat with dad and talked a little bit more.

Then I told her more about her body and what to expect, Again she was not pleased. Ha! Then I left it alone and every once in a while I would ask her if she had any more questions or if she had heard other people talking about bodies or sex.. This brought up some good topics.

I just always let her know she could ask us anything at any time.
You can do this. Go to the library or even your childs school library and pick out some books that talk about how our bodies work.. It will give you a guide.

You need to be open and honest with her and make sure those lines of communication are wide open and no topic off limits.

If she does not feel comfortable asking you a question.....she will find out somewhere else and it might not be the truthful info she needs.

You've gotten a lot of good advice and I also encourage you to talk talk talk talk!!! She needs to hear it from you not her friends. One thing I have done that makes it easier is to chat while you're in the car. You don't have to make eye contact and sometimes that makes it a little easier. My 12-year-old and I seem to talk about this kind of thing quite often, because she is curious. I would rather she hear it from me than her friends like I did many years ago. Once you start talking it gets easier.

I would do it now by answering her questions. Because she is finding answers that are wrong. The world is changing thanks to people being open with their children. I have always been open with my children telling them that sex is more special when saved for their future mate. As they aged we would go into more details of sex. My oldest child tells me all the time thank you for been open with her about it. She is 19. My youngest is 16. They have never had sex.

God bless You,
T.

I was about 9 when my mom expalined things to me and my sister. She got a book from the bookstore that told the WHOLE STORY! (Had some pictures too.......) I remember thinking gross and being embarassed that she was telling me these things (I hadn't even asked anything!). But if your daughter is curious, it's best to share with her.

Get a book! Much easier than coming up with it all on your own. The book my mom bought was an easy read, child type story book that explained the whole truth and nothing but the truth! LOL.

It's called 'the sex talk', but it's never really one talk. It's a discussion you have with your kids giving them information they need as they need it. At 9 yrs old, your daughter might not be too far away from beginning her period. It's a good idea she knows what that's about before it happens.
Many schools talk about the changes that happens to you as you grow up (boys hear about boys changes, girls hear about girls changes). A bit later (I think in middle school now - when I was going to school they taught this in grade 11 or 12 and health class was an optional elective class, but by then some people were already sexually active) they tell them how tab A fits into slot B which can result in a baby 9 months later.
In the mean time, talk with you daughter about your expectations. I tell my son I'd like grandchildren someday, but not before he has a job, his own house, and a wife - pretty much in that order. I also do not hide anything from him about how taking care of a baby is exhausting hard work. It's definitely a labor of love, but you have to be ready for it and not have it happen accidentally.
The urge to merge is a strong one, and teens are not always thinking with their heads once their hormones are raging.

L.,
There are CDs at the Christian book store that you can use. I am sorry but I can't remember the name. My husband used them for our boys.
You take your child away for the weekend. You listen to a portion of the message then discuss it, then go do something fun--like shopping. You may want to buy her something special that will remind her of your time together. Then you repeat the process.
It may take more than one weekend. Some of the CDs may be more appropriate when she is a little older.
With one of our boys, my husband chose to go camping. He and my son still talk about that weekend years later.
Good luck and God bless.
Victoria

Updated

L.,
There are CDs at the Christian book store that you can use. I am sorry but I can't remember the name. My husband used them for our boys.
You take your child away for the weekend. You listen to a portion of the message then discuss it, then go do something fun--like shopping. You may want to buy her something special that will remind her of your time together. Then you repeat the process.
It may take more than one weekend. Some of the CDs may be more appropriate when she is a little older.
With one of our boys, my husband chose to go camping. He and my son still talk about that weekend years later.
Good luck and God bless.
Victoria

HI L.,

I had it so easy with my girls on the farm....they knew the mechanics and it actually grossed them out. We had long talks at all ages about how beautiful sex is when it is with your husband, and only your husband. My girls always believed me over other people, even their peers. Talking with her will solidify your relationship with her. The trust you and she have is so important at this age. Remind her that you love her and she should believe what you tell her. That she can come to you with any question and you will tell her everything she wants to know and it will be the truth. Remind her that the kids in school don't have her best interest at heart like you do. AND that people will lie to her even if she doesn't see it. It's not a matter of teaching distrust, Its a matter of teaching her who she can trust. This is too important an issue to not take control over quickly!

God bless you!

M.

If your daughter is curious, she will learn poor information from 8th grader or she can learn correct information from you. Education is your best friend, silence is your worst enemy. Arm her with information, stick to the facts. When explaining the body and sex, don't use "cute" nick names, use the correct medical terminology. Mark Gungor has a great DVD series on dating, relationship, and sex that could be helpful when she get's older. But for now, answer her questions without making her feel ashamed for being curious. You can do this.