M.I.
I also struggled with having another child. I don't even know where to begin. I had my first child at 22 and my husband (then boyfriend was 27). He was the one who was not supportive of having any more children. Besides my daughter, we are also raising my now 8 year old step-daughter with limited day-to-day involvement from her mother at that time. I knew in my heart that I wanted another child, but for financial reasons and just shear exhaustion, I allowed him to convince me that this was going to be our last. I even got to the point that I looked into getting my tubes tied about 2 years ago.
Well last year we finally got married and our relationship has been great. I have gotten some good promotions at work over the last few years and we are doing better financially...still not where I would like to be (I too am not a homeowner yet), but definitely better. So after we got married, we had what I still sometimes call a "mushy moment of insanity" and decided to have one more child. I still sometimes struggle with our decision since my girls are so grown up and independent now and I still would like the finances to be a little better, but I also realized that there is really never a "perfect" time to have a baby.
But I am really glad that I did wait. When I first had my daughter, I thought everything was wonderful and I should have my next child within 2 or 3 years to keep them close in age. Now I realize that it would not have been a good situation to have a child any sooner than now. Even though there will be a difference of 8 and almost 5 years between my girls and this new baby, they are so excited about her arrival that I think things will be great. I feel like this is the baby that I'm having for "our family" and not just me or my husband. They will have an opportunity to really help and share in her upbringing.
You should try and help your husband realize that waiting another year or 2 or even 3 is not such a horrible idea. When it comes to family, you can't always have this exact timeline. While I agree with him that I wouldn't be having any more kids at like 35 or 40, I do realize that sometimes we need to wait a few years to provide the most stable and welcoming situation for a new addition to the family.
I hope my story helps you...M.