E.D.
Well, here are some things that are helpful for me.
If someone interrupts me I'll say, "Please let me finish." If they keep on talking I'll wait. No use fighting a brick wall. When they're done I'll say something like, "I heard what you said (repeat it back briefly). You started talking before I was finished. I do not like being interrupted. When I'm interrupted I feel ______ (ex. frustrated, hurt, rejected, ______). I want to have this discussion, but I am not willing to continue if you are not willing to _______ (ex. lower your voice, stop cussing, stop interrupting, etc. (keep it concrete...rather than say, "stop disrespecting me" - because that's open to interpretation - keep it to what YOU want in concrete terms))."
Then, I've learnt to ask a willingness question like, "Are you willing to have this discussion without interrupting each other?" If yes, the discussion is open. If not, you can say, "Please let me know when/if you are willing. I really want to find resolution."
If I'm feeling too heated to think strait, I try to take a short time out. Say, "I'm feeling too heated and want to think strait. I am going to take a three minute break and then will be right back." This gives me a chance to speak rationally, rather than from anger.
Also, using feelings statements (is cheesy and exhausting) really, really helpful. "I feel like you are _________ (not listening, are attacking me, are a jerk)," is NOT a feelings statement. Those are thoughts.
I am learning to determine my feeling, my want/need, and ask a willingness question.
For example, "When you came in the door and said hi to the kids without acknowledging me as well, I felt invisible and rejected. I was really excited to see you and want you to give me attention because I yearn for your validation. Are you willing to look at this and/or try to meet my needs/wants?"