O.k. ladies! My daughter, whose now 3.5 years old, is seriously "addicted" to the binky. I had read a suggestion from another mom on here once about the binky fairy, and I thought "YES! That's it!". So I told my husband about it, and he liked the idea as well. Then we told Alora. It was a great idea until she found out about it. lol. The way we explained it was that when she was ready to give up the binky, the binky fairy would come and trade her binky for something fun. She pondered this for a moment and then said "Oh, I don't want that to happen to my binky :( Ugh. So we stopped talking about it for a while. The other day, she was sitting at the kitchen table with her binky right before bed (she's only aloud to have it for bed and nap) and she got very sad. I asked her what was wrong and she said she didn't want to go to bed because she didn't want the binky fairy to take her binky away! I didn't want to her stress out about this issue, so I told her that we'd dedicate a special place where we will put the binky when she's ready to give it up, and that the binky fairy won't take it unless she finds it there. She seemed happy with that and I haven't heard anything about it since (from her anyway). I'm ready to find a new course of action - so I'm asking you all for some ideas. I'm pretty set in keeping my method gentle, and will not put hot sauce, pepper or anything else nasty on her binky, nor am I willing to tell her that she's too big for the binky and just take it away. Does anyone have any gentle ideas?
Thanks so much to everyone for the suggestions! I enjoyed reading them all! Most of them were gentle, and some where funny (I loved the easter bunny one! lol). I liked the hole in the binky idea that so many of you had, but, unfortunately her binky actually has had a hole in it for a while now. She doesn't really seem to care.
What we have decided to do is to, first off, all back off for a while. Then at some point we will start the process all over by first telling her that when she's a big girl she won't need the binky. This will be said just when we hand it to her, and in a normal tone (not an attempt to shame her - but matter-of-factly). (She potty trained in a similar fashion - we told her that someday she would make her pee and poop in the potty and eventually she began to agree that doing so would be a good idea!) Then at some point in the future, we may try the idea of setting a date with her. But that will be much later, if at all (I'm hoping she'll decide that she's a big girl first). I think I'm pretty comfortable with this now, and having other moms remind me to ask myself "what's the big deal" is extremely helpful to me. I would much rather pay the orthodontist! :)
Thanks again, so much everone!
Do you have any friends with babies? Maybe you can convince her to give it away to the new baby. Try collecting a few toys to give the baby and include the binky with it. My daughter is willing to give almost anything away to a baby.
My first child had his binky until he was six months old, but didn't want to give up his bottle. I took the binky at 6 months and the bottle at 11 months, just offer her things to replace what you took. Be straight forward and honest with you child. Stories don't usually work well, they never did for me, I just have to tell my son how it is and he listens.
My husband and I have 3 kids (3 year old, 2 year old and 3 month old) and my daughter (the 3 year old) was a huge binky addict. The first thing we did was choose "the big day" when the binky would be gone (about 2 months away). Then we told her that she's getting too old for the binky and when this "big day" comes she would say good bye and throw it in the garbage. Then we kept giving her reminders at 1 month, 3 weeks, 2 weeks, 1 week then 2-3 days before "the big day"....honestly by the last week she would walk past the trash and tell us that she's a big girl and binky's going in the garbage. On "the big day", we told her again and then walked her to the trash and let her put binky in the garbage, and that was it. She cried a little that night (binky was amust at bedtime), but after that no more mention of binky...and when she would see other kids with a binky she would tell me she's a big girl and only babies use binkys! i think overall, you should be honest with your daughter, have a specific day that's set in stone that the binky will be gone and let HER be the one to get rid of it...that way she'll know (although she may not understand) why the binky has to go, she'll have time to prepare, and she'll feel as though she played a role in disgarding of it. If you (or the Binky fairy) disgard it, she'll feel as though something has been taken away from her and she has no control. And expect her to cry...no matter what it's going to be hard for her, but at least she'll have those few weeks to get use to the idea. And praise her once she's binky-free. Hope this helps!
My son loved the sanitation truck and the men that worked on them. So "we" took the binky and talked to our "friends" and put it in the "binky garbage". They made a big deal out of it at the time and he was thrilled about the whole idea of it. Good luck!!!!!!
Your story actually brings back memories of my Gianna with her "gunk gunk" aka binky. Don't ask my where she got that name. She was the ultimate binky addict accompanied with a blanky. When she was 2 and a half I got her to give all her binkys to Santa Clause for all of the babys in the world. It worked she only screamed on the way home for 5 minutes. She is about to turn 5 in May and still has her blany but hasn't needed her pacifier since. I know the holiday season has passed, but maybe you can give them to the Easter Bunny LOL
Hi L.~ I am not sure if this suggestion is mean or not. A coworker of mine did this, she cut it smaller. But only a little at a time. so the binky got smaller and smaller and soon her child didn't want it anymore. Good luck! Don't think of it as being a mean mommy, think of it as saving her teeth and all the benefits of not having it.
My daughter who just turned 4 in Feb, she stoped using the binky at the end of Novemeber. She was the same way...I tried the binky fairy myself but I did it a little differently. I started talking to her about the fairy for about a week. I said that the binky fairy has lots of little babies that have no binkies and they are very sad and cry....so the binky fairy gives all the little babies new binkies....after about 4 or 5 days of that I started telling her that the binky fairy gives a bag of treats for every binky she gets....so we went to the store and went to the candy section and I had her pick out all the candy for her treat bag....told her that if she gave her binky to the binky fairy that she would let her have this bag of candy...I gave her the money and she paid the casher....and told her that the casher would give the bag of candy to the fairy. When we got home we put the pinky in a basket with little note that said please give this binky to a new baby. It was a hard night that night....we didnt get much sleep that night...the next morning tho when she did wake up...she woke up to a basket full of candy and no binkie...I did let her eat some of it but only a some....and we put the rest away for later...each time she brought up the binky I told her she gave it to the binky fairy and we got candy instead...she did cry a little each time...but after a few days....she finaly got over it. But I had to be very stern on not giving in to the binky...there were a few times she really wanted it...its hard for them...they get used it and depend on it...but they eventually get over it...and its a learning thing for them to learn to not to depend on something and try something different......not sure if the binky thing will still work...but keep trying other things, the candy thing itsnt good for her teeth but it only lasted about a week and I can live with that cause she isnt using the binky anymore and she had that thing from the time she woke up to the time she fell asleep!! so good luck! Stay strong once the binky has gone!! Dont let her see one!
L.,
I also agree that you don't need harsh methods. My method actuslly had my son throw his on pacifier in the garbage. What we did was to cut a little pice off the tip. Then the following week we cut more off, By the 3rd week he was complaining about how he couldn't use it right and we told him that's just what happens and one day he got up and said this is garbage.
Good Luck
L.
Not sure if this will work for her, she's older than my kids when they gave it up, but you could try cutting it so that it doesn't feel the same to her. When my little one turned 2, I started cutting away at the nipple. He noticed it right away and it was just a matter of time(a very short time) until he no longer enjoyed it. He told me it was broken and wanted a new one, but I explained that they no longer made them for big boys his age. He seemed to accept that answer and we broke the habit.
Good luck!!
My son didnt have a binky it was his bottle - but I'm curious - as long as you have it down to just bedtime - why are you so worried about it? Kids are afraid of bedtime and the dark for a long time and it seems like she's found a way around that. And she's not that old. Why not just let it happen naturally?
You have about six months until her birthday....no more binky when she turns 4. Start talking about it now everyday ask her what is going to happen on her b-day..."no more binky". It's a celebration turning 4 and letting the binky go, let her know that at that point she is to big and has to turn in the binky. But don't sound hesitant about it, just let her know that it's a rule just like any other. Approach her with the plan in a positive manner but not too over the top. I think when parents are to positive kids can read right through it, they know you really just want them to do something. I would just be very nonchalant. If it doesn't work don't woory she won't go off to college with it!!:)
Sigh. I went through this with my oldest daughter. She just would not give it up. Eventually I just threw them all away. I was afraid of the dental issues. I have really bad teeth and I didn't want that for my kids. But I remember feeling the same way about not wanting her to stress about it and wanting to do it gently. She only cried for it for the first day, then she just forgot about it. If shes only using it to sleep with I think you could let her keep it a little longer, shes only using it as comfort. I used to suck my thumb when I was little so I know why they do it.
OOOOh, I can empathise with you. Two of my 3 children LOVED their "nummies". We also had a "Nummy-bird" that came about a week before Easter and took all their "nummies". I couldn't believe it when it worked with my daughter. She was told that the Easter Bunny would bring her something for the big girl to replace the pacifier! She accepted that with no problem .When it came time for my son to give up his, I thought he would really have a fit, but his older sister drew him a pictire of the "Nummie-bird" (SO funny), and he too accepted this! Funny thing happened, about 2 weeks later, he found a nummie in his toy box, handed it to me ans said the nummie bird forgot one! He had me "hide" it in my drawer, and he would check on it every once in a while, but he never put it in his mouth because he was afraid that the bird would see him with it and come get it!! One of my favorite memories of when they were that little!
It sounds horrible but I took my sons Binky away at easter. I told him the easter bunny took it because he lost his and really needed a binky because he had a boo boo. Then I showed him all the candy and toys the easter bunny left and all was forgotten.
It was mean but it worked. Hope this helps you.
Hi L.!
My daughter is 2 3/4 years, she'll be 3 in May. She just had her first dental appointment and also has the same "Binky Addiction! The dentist told me to cut a small hole on the top of the binky, because once the suction is gone, well, the binky loses it's appeal. We are going to give this a try, as I have heard from other people that this technique works!
Best wishes!
R. ; )
MySpace.com/Jaimeswife
If a child has a need to suck to get to sleep and nap I don't see what the problem is. Why create stress? My ped used to say do you want to pay for orthodontist or psychiatrist. Since the former was a better choice we went with it. Eventually she let it go on her own at about age 7.
I was having major problems with my son's binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh... worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences.... B.
Luckily Inever had a binky problem both of my girls didn't like them but I did have a bottle issue. My daughter always wanted a bottle if she was in the car or at betime. She was 2 and I was pregnant so I wanted to get rid of her bpttles before the new baby came. We told her that big girls don't need bottles and told her this every day. Finally one day she said I'm a bid girl not a baby and just threw them away and picked out a special sippy cup for bedtime. The first couple of car rides were hard but we kept telluing her that SHE threw them in the garbage. I think that's what made the difference is she got rid of them not us. You just need to get her prepared to give it up either pick a day or pick out a new toy for bedtime. When she is ready she will give it up.
