Has anyone had great success with talking to your children about sex? What was the age this process began? I have heard that 8 is the "right" time, but my daughter is almost 9 and I havn't stepped up. The other day she seriously told me she knows how babies are made. I said "oh really, how did you find that out?" Not in a mean way, but light and joking. She said it was from some other kids in the neighborhood and that it was "really gross" so I tend to think she really did hear about it. Don't I need to step in and make sure she has the correct information? The question is HOW! Thanks!
Check with your pediatrician if they run any classes through their hospital. Lake Forest Hospital runs a great class for moms and daughters called "changing bodies, changing times" for 8-12yr old girls. It is a very informal session with a great breakfast provided and a nurse gives a great talk on changes etc It is a good place to start. The american girl book is also really good.
I think that this shouldn't be a one-time talk, but an ongoing discussion. This is a great opportunity not only about explaining what's going to happen to her body (puberty), but to also incorporate some of your family or religous values (Sex is for two people in a marriage that love one another; We need to respect ourselves and others, etc.)
I would start with the book, "What's happening to Me?" which outlines the physical changes that boys and girls go through during their formative years. We bought that book for our oldest girl. She never has a problem asking me about these things, because I'm open to discussing them with her.
For you, I'd recommend reading the book, "Ten Talks Parents Must Have with Their Children About Sex and Character" by Pepper Schwartz, MD and Dominic Cappello
Very helpful.
Good luck!
I had that talk with my daughter when she was 8 almost 9. What I found that helped a lot and made it easier for her to understand what the book that American Girl puts out. It is called something like "me and my body" a girls guide to growing up. It explains all the changes that her body will go through in a very kid friendly way. I told her that this was her special book not to be shared with her brothers or her little sister and if she had any questions, to come and ask. Our school system also does the talk with each group in 4th grade. Also, the Robert Crown Center in Chicago has a great exhibit of how the body matures and our school takes field trips there for health. It is open to the general public too.
It is just scary thinking that she has girls in her class that have had their periods since second grade!!!! She has not really asked about the sex part of it but understands the how a baby is made and how the body works. She has not really asked questions about the physical nature of it, I have talked with her about it but she is more interested in the how the body works of it.
Good luck!
S.
Mom of 4 - 2 boys ages 11 and 9, 2 girls ages 10 and 5
There is a great "starter" book called "It's not the Stork". There are other books in the series after that one but I'm not sure of the names. I used this book with my daughter when she was 6. It is really good. We are going to move into the next book soon. I'd suggest starting to talk with your 5 year old soon too...start slow...when our friend was pregnant it was a good jumping off point. For us I found talking in the car while we drive is pretty non threatening, and it gave me a segway into giving her the book to look at and talk over later. I like this series of books because it has "cartoon strips" which we can read together and then discuss. Don't push her to talk but let her know you are there. Good Luck!!!!
