Thanksgiving Question

It was the same way for quite some time with my husband's brother and his wife. They never made an efforts with us and blew us off all the time. They never acknowledged my kids on their birthdays and even blew them off one xmas by arriving at my in-laws' home early xmas morning and leaving before we arrived so they wouldn't have to see us. We decided to rise above them-- we didn't want to sink to their level. So we continued to contact them (and get ignored). When they moved to GA for over a year, we drove up when their first child was born as if we were all the best of friends. It actually pissed them off to see us show up in the hospital... but as we all know, becoming a parent changes you and I think they wanted the cousins to all get to know eachother, so they mellowed out. We still aren't all the best of friends, but we are very civil to eachother for the sake of our kids. We're doing Thanksgiving and invited them. I figured if they didn't want to come then at least I did the right thing by inviting them. But they ARE coming. There can only be drama if more than one person feeds it. If someone wants to act like a brat and no one feeds into it, then that person comes out looking like the fool and everyone else has a good time in spite of it.

K.,

What do you normally do for Thanksgiving? If it were to be at your mother's home and your brother was invited, would you stay home? Do you hope to resolve this issue with your brother someday? Maybe this is a good opportunity. Call and invite him, but let him know how you feel about him lately. Maybe he's going through something right now. ??? It's your family, you would know best. :)

Good luck. I hope everything works out for the best.

-T.

Hey at least you can get your mother and your mother in law in the same house.
On my side of the family it's just my mom and my sister that we had to deal with and they were fine.
It's my husband's side of the family that's the pain.
You have to run to his dad's house early in the day to sit around and wait for Thanksgiving lunch to be served around 1. Then you have to wolf it down in order to get over to his mom's by 3 to have dinner at 5.
I mean you have to be there at 3 or she starts having a fit.
So, back to the dad's you have 2 sisters (with 4 kids total) and 2 brother's (my husband included) with our 3. Nothing is ever even remotely ready when you get there, there is so much going on and the kitchen is so small and nobody really gets along, so it's just a bunch of face time.
Then, you run over to the mom's with most of the same family and then you add in step kids and step grandkids and she will not let you help do anything.
You eat in separate rooms because the one table in the kitchen won't hold everyone so you don't even get to talk. Then, after dinner those that spoke go out to the enclosed porch to smoke away and you can either go out there and breathe it or sit in the living room with the ALL of the kids and be ignored until time to go.
It was a freaking nightmare every time and my husband and I hated it every year. But we did it anyway.
After having a gut full of it and deciding we wanted our lives to be a little more fruitful we moved 2500 miles away from all of them.
Yes, the holidays are a little quieter and less hectic, but we get to enjoy them now instead of driving all over the city to 3 different people's houses and it being rush rush rush.
So, I say all of that just to say. Do what you and your husband want to do with your holiday. It's your house and your holiday too. If you don't want the stress then don't invite it to your house.
Look at it this way if you invite them and the don't come again, your just going to deepin the anger you have for them and that won't do anybody any good.
Happy Holidays and good luck.
P.S. If you do invite them take a couple of tylenol before they arrive that'll help.

K.,
It is YOUR house, so it's your decision. I have something like that in my family with my sister's father(get it?). Anyway, what would Dear Abby say? I'm not her, but you could send out the invite to him, he may not even come and if he does maybe things will get better between you all. I don't know the situation. Did something happen or is he just lazy? Tell him how you feel. Sorry, getting too much into it. Bottom line, it's your house. I wouldn't want any drama either. Good Luck! A.