To all of you who have dealt with my questions and concerns about my job for the past 3 months - I truly appreciate it. I know it seems silly and stupid to some - but this was my dream job. I worked for a YEAR to land this job - it was the first job I've held where I was a success. I received praise, did solid, strong work, liked my company and everyone I worked with. To have it end the way it will has been extremely hard on me - my sense of self - and the value I think/thought I could bring to a company. So my apologies if it's been too much but I"ve been really struggling with what this means about me - how I perceive myself - and who I am in a professional capacity. Your kind comments and support have meant a lot to me and again - thank you.
However, I received some unkind comments this morning that I felt added nothing and only served to make me feel bad about myself.
I've enjoyed this board and hope I have given as much support as I've received. However, the negativity and nasty comments really bring down the board and make it seem less worthy of any time.
I know this isn't reality (or so they like to say) but ya know - it's still REAL PEOPLE interacting with other REAL PEOPLE. People with feelings that can be hurt whether in person or online.
Yes - I know - shouldn't care what random strangers think - but on that same note - why do random strangers feel the need to take the time to respond to let you know that your question was stupid, that they don't want to hear about it anymore, that you need to just get over yourself and move on? What purpose does that serve?
You know what they say about advice, take what you need and toss the rest. It always helps me to to imagine that the person that wrote something cruel is having such a miserable day/life and I end up feeling sorry for them instead of myself. : )
Hang in there, you already know by experience that there is good out there, focus on that. One door closes, another opens every time!
In the immortal words of Jay-Z - "brush that dirt off your shoulders" Or any other rapper in America - "Shake them haters off." Do youreself a favor. Go to yahoo videos and find "99 Problems." Play it really loud and sing along. You will feel so much better! I got 99 problmes, but a B**** aint one!
You ask whatever questions you want and if I have an answer or something encouraging to say, I will be happy to answer. People that are bothered by it have every right to move the hell on and not answer or not to even read your questions. In fact, I'd like to formally invite them to .....SDSTFU
Well...best of luck.
I don't think you need to apologize at all.
I mean, at least your questions were about ACTUAL dilemmas, not like "I have a hangnail, what should I do?" or "All 47 of my dollar store pregnancy tests say positive, but I'm still not sure", or "I hit my toe really hard with a hammer, is a bruise normal?" etc.
A job change IS a big deal. Sorry you got blasted. :(
They are like that because their rude. It's unnecessary by all means. A normal person would have just moved on to something else. But instead they make comments. Ignore them! If they want to be mean and condescending, then that's on them.
People, if you dont like a question, and have nothing nice to say then move on to another question!
Good luck on the new job, I hope it turns out to be everything you wanted :)
Strangers' opinions shouldn't matter but sometimes they get under your skin regardless. Once I got some useless answers which insinuated my nanny was an illegal immigrant and so we shouldn't be surprised she sucked. Talk about hurtful and racist. Never mind she’s a U.S. citizen and a professional nanny. I posted a flaming post naming specific people as racists. It was promptly pulled but I felt better after posting to set the record straight and then having it yanked was icing. :) A rebel without a cause…that's me. I personally am glad you got useful answers, though, and I encourage you to try not to let the small minded bother you too much. As far as purpose...crabs in a bucket. They don't want someone to succeed or be happy so they pull you back down. Don't let them. Happy Wednesday.
Okay, I didn't see the posts you were talking about so I went back and read your deleted post and I want to say, POST WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!! Just for the record, the all caps is definitely shouting, hopefully loud enough one particular person who was nasty to hear. :)
You owe no apology! If you have gotten any good advice or were at least able to relieve some of the pressure that was on you by posting here, then you did the right thing!
I wish you MUCH success!
I read two really ugly posts there, Mom. (I didn't look too far down the line.) I don't know why someone has to say "blah, blah, blah". Good grief.
Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth, so they lash out at others who give it. I don't think you are like that. I think you DO want to hear the truth, and that's why you have given the background to us when you write. I think that's actually pretty helpful to the ladies who haven't followed your threads. I remember all the stuff you've talked about and don't have to look back to see your story, but not everyone else bothers to do that. I do think that remembering what has been going on provides the opportunity to give you honest and helpful advice. I appreciate that you have wanted to hear the advice, regardless of which side of the table you were on. Not everyone is so inclined.
Just remember that YOU are not the one at fault for the usual actions of your boss. You knew going into this (and so does your new boss) that this guy lashes out at employees who are leaving. So try to keep this in perspective when you feel down about what is going on with your current job. And know that no one here makes a difference in the job you actually do.
Congrats on making it THIS far, and coming out on the other side of this job with the knowledge that you did your best. Even when someone is slapping us in the face for doing the right thing, giving the right advice, working ethically and diligently, etc, we KNOW as time goes on that we did the right thing. Who knows! Maybe they will figure it out in the end. (And if they don't, it's probably because they don't want to.)
Good luck and hang in there!
Dawn
Well,
I wish you well and great success in what ever your next endeavor is.
Good luck to you and yours.
H.,
Theres no such thing as a "stupid question"knowledge is power.It must be nice for those who feel they are perfect and know it all.As for the rest of us,its nice to have sites like this!!!!Opinions are like a**** everyones got one.I use this site how I see fit,take the advice I like and utilize it,and what I dont agree with,take it with a grain of salt.Every answer Ive given,I picture the PERSON im responding to,it took courage to ask my ask my first question,it was about my son.When I pressed the"ask question"button my heart was pounding,why/IDK,but mabe I was afraid of the feedback Id get.Sometimes its hard for people to express themselves in writing,remember that,they may be coming off totally different then they mean to be.I am by no means saying some people werent nasty to you,but just try to be imparcial.No one truly knows YOU.thats the beauty of this site to me though because,its people you dont know that you can ask questions that you might not ask your loved ones or friends.You have the right to mark something inappropriate as well,so dont leave the site if thats what youre thinking because,I personally have read a couple of your questions and now when I see youre on,I click on them.Dont let a couple bad eggs ruin it for you!!!!!!
To the extent possible, please try not to let a couple of negative responses keep you from getting all of the good advice and support from the majority.
Some people think that the "tough love" approach (for example, "get over it") is the best way to help, but saying "get over it" to a person we don't know over a computer doesn't always have the same impact as it does coming from your best friend face to face.
You were just wanting some support and advice on how to exit your current job. Nothing at all wrong with that and certainly no apologies needed. Take the supportive and helpful comments, and please try to "delete" the others from your memory. No use taking up space with negativity!
Stay on at your current job until your time is complete. Do a good job and burn no bridges. It's a small world, after all, and you never know when and how your paths may cross again. If you take this approach, when you look back, you can feel proud of what you did there, despite whatever obstacles and difficulties you faced in that job previously.
Best of luck to you,
J. F.
Ditto what B said.
I have missed the whole thing--have not been here due to one friend having thyroid cancer surgery, and another finding out her child has Type 1 diabetes...so I have missedyour questions and the responses.
BUT...you know when you go to a Mom's group and there are some who are really down to earth and who you look forward to talking with, but then there are others who are judgmental sourpusses, or just very direct, or just don't like you, or who are just ____________ (fill in the blank)...
This board is just like that. Lots of different types of personalities, but some very cool people. I hope you don't take those negative comments too personally because I have enjoyed reading your questions and responses here : )
