Thank You's

i too am on the side of being jealous of your organization and promptness! i always start out with good intentions, but sometimes they don't quite make it to the mailbox. i do however think it would be totally appropriate to call and see how she's doing - having a new baby is totally crazy and i'm sure she'd be glad to hear from you. i wouldn't even mention it unless the conversation went on for a few minutes and she didn't bring it up. probably as soon as she talks to you she'll remember the thoughtful gift and thank you for it. not only will she be glad to touch base with you, then she can mentally check off your name for needing a thank-you card! that will be a gift in itself, for a busy new mom. just my two cents! :)

I am terrible at getting thank you cards written, let alone sent out. However, I wouldn't be at all offended if someone called and added into the conversation if I recieved the gift. I think it is a very tactful way of making sure that your gift got to them. You have the right to know also if you need to track the gift if it wasn't sent properly. Otherwise, if something happened and it didn't get to them, it would be a waste of your money that you otherwise wouldn't be aware of.

Hi E.,

I honestly admire people like you who are so organized and on top of things. I am very organized in many areas of my life, including never missing a friend or relative's birthday, but I am not as good at sending thank yous as I should.
I agree with one of the posters that if you really want to check in on them and see how they are and if they got the gift, a call is a great idea. But speaking as a mom who had complications with both deliveries and a touch of the "baby blues" I would have been upset to think someone was concerned about a proper thank you. Unless you know them very well, there may be other things, besides just having a new baby, that's keeping them preoccupied.

In good health,

Lori K

Why don't you just call and see how she's doing? Maybe casually bring up the gift. Being a new mom is a little rough in the beginning, I'd give her some more time if you're wanting a Thank You note. Her life has completely changed, it's a lot to keep up with, plus, if she's dealing with things like sleep deprivation, colic, breastfeeding, baby blues, etc... it can be even harder.

Just give her a call... I'm sure she'd appreciate your concern.

Hi E.,

I would not be upset with her. Not all moms handle first motherhood as easily as you may have. She may be suffering from post-partum depression or may have other family problems that you don't even know about. Both of my parents were ill during the time my baby was born. With the additional stresses that put on me, I didn't get some thank you notes out for four months.

I would echo another respondent's post: if you are truly concerned that the gift did not reach her, by all means ask her about it. If you are just trying to point out that she hasn't sent a TY, I wouldn't do it.

A. P.

IMO--it depends on your motives.

If you're truly concerned about whether she received the gift, I think its ok to call and make sure it arrived. If it did, let her rise to the occassion by thanking you.

But if what you really want out of the conversation is to make sure that you get thanked, then skip the call. Etiquette dictates that new brides get up to three months to send out thank-you notes. I think new moms deserve at least as much time, too.