Thank You! - South Gate,CA

Updated on March 10, 2012
K.I. asks from Lindenhurst, NY
19 answers

Hi All,

So my husband was a bit uncomfortable by having all his business out here in cyber space...so I took it down!

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

As always, I thank you all for your comments...always appreciated!

Featured Answers

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

What he's experiencing at work is sexual harassment.
He needs to document it, keep telling her to stop, and then take it to his boss and to HR.
I worked for a female boss years ago who was ultimately fired for sexual harassment and creating a hostile work environment.
It was a relief when she was finally gone.

10 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

I agree, she is harassing him and he needs to report it to HR. He needs to document each incident, so that she won't go and spread false accusations against him, that he is coming on to her when she finally gets jilted.

But congrats on having a faithful, (and good lookin') man. My husband has been hit on a few times too, he simply glares at the woman and ignores her and treats her not very friendly after that.

3 moms found this helpful

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Frankly, I wonder if it is time to go to HR, or the woman's supervisor, and have the BOSS tell her to back off.....

If a man did that to a woman, and didn't get the hint, you can be sure the woman would be screaming "Sexual Harassment"!!!!!

7 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

He needs to report to his HR department that he is being sexually harassed.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

time for him to "snitch" to HR.

as for me, yes....I would laugh with him. & be thankful for the strength of our marriage.

5 moms found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Sexual harassment goes both ways, he should speak to HR immediately. Not to be a negative nellie, but he would not be the first man that gets accused of sexually harassing a co worker after turning down HER advances...
If they do not have an HR department he at least needs to talk to his supervisor and let them know.
Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I agree, he needs to go to HR or the woman's supervisor and explain that she continues to pursue him despite your husband having told her several times he's not interested and is happily married.

Lastly, I've had a guy at school that is continually making me feel uncomfortable with his advances. When I told my husband, at first, he made jokes and said he'd flirt with me and stare at me too. Then the guy started leaving his number at my desk if I had to get up for something. He started going out of his way to get closer to me. He showed up to my college on a Saturday and sat outside the door. My husband finally realized why I was so uncomfortable.

Please, support your husband and don't just keep laughing about it. Encourage him to go report her. Tell him that you love him and you're sorry that she's acting like this. Whatever you decide to do, you should support him and not act like it's nothing and blow it off.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree that he needs to go HR regarding this. He needs to document everything and each incident needs to be noted with day and time.
Here is what an acquaintance of mine did in this situation...The husband had a girl hitting on him constantly even though he repeatedly told her he was married. She still would not stop so his wife showed up one day and she looked at him with the "deer in the headlight" look. She asked who SHE was and he replied this is my wife that I have been telling you about! Needless to say it pretty much stopped after that. She knew he was truely married and decided he was not worth the trouble.
So, if you can take your hubby lunch when you know she is there, just maybe she will back down!

3 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

It sounds like she is crossing the line into sexual harassment. He could speak to HR about it. In fact, he probably should. The woman sounds a little, um, obsessed.

But, I applaud your attitude. You and your husband are very lucky to have each other.

3 moms found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Adultry is NOT a joke...no laughing matter.

He should talk to personnel about this and let them know that he has ALREADY let the woman know that NO means NO and she continues to persue. It should be on record.

Something like this could cost your husband his job...She could lie and since you say you have seen things like this go on for many years...whose to say that HE isn't a willing participant? Get it on record.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

Your husband AND his assistant should go to HR together. They both need to report what they have witnessed. Flirtation involves both parties, if your husband is not interested, it has crossed the line into harassment.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a similar issue with my husband. Women oddly want to be my BFF to get close to him. AWKWARD!

If she's this aggressive, I'd mention sexual harassment and see if that dissuades her.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

There is a woman that owns a fitness studio where our son takes Tae Kwon Do and every time it's my husbands turn to take our son, this woman purposely gets on the stairclimber so her butt is right in his face (the chairs for waiting are all along that wall). He's tried to go sit in other areas of this fitness studio but she always finds her way to my hubby. I have complete faith in my marriage and know without a doubt my husband would never entertain the idea of cheating on me so like you, I just laugh, I even make fun of him and one night as I was leaving myself to go work out, I pretended to be on a stair climber and stuck my butt way out in front of his face, but this time he got turned on and actually bit my bum!!

2 moms found this helpful
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G.S.

answers from New York on

Some woman find it a challenge to know that a man is spoken for and then I do think it is time for him to seek out the assistance of either a supervisor of HR.

I have many times introduced myself to the women trying to persue my husband or if we were out somewhere or at a party, and some of them backed off, however some of them just didn't get it. Best of luck to you.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.A.

answers from Seattle on

Yikes..have you seen that movie with Beyonce? Women are crazy! My husband tells me, I laugh. It happens! I'm proud to be married to someone who gets hit on, that means he's not ugly :)

1 mom found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

It's good that you aren't threatened by it, but it's bothering him. He doesn't need this stress at work and her behavior is not appropriate. If he is comfortable talking to HR, he should do so. Tell him to start keeping records of what she says and does, and to keep the notes that she leaves.

I googled the definition of sexual harassment - Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that tends to create a hostile or offensive work environment.

It sounds like what she is doing fits this definition.

1 mom found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband is completely oblivious when women hit on him. And many do right in front of me. he has no clue...I will say "oooo she liked you!"..."what are talking about she needed or asked (insert womans stupid come on)"...

Yeah honey she like you! Once a lady at the super cuts saw his tattoo sticking out of his shirt (goes down his neck to his middle back) I was reading a magazine and she pulls his shirt back looks over to me and says "oh tell me all about it I'm fascinated with tattoos"...I just laughed as he told her the scientific version of why he chose that particular tattoo...she was bored in two minutes. No clue she was flirting with him...

So I guess I tease him about more than anything.

But in your husbands case he needs to bring in HR...

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

You can stop it-and you need to-part of his nixing her advances is what she is going for -it's a game to her. I would confront her in a calm way and let her know that she will not bring down your 15 year marriage, in other words, game over.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

How do you even know about it? If it isn't a big deal to him, seems like he wouldn't bring it up at all.

Anyway, if you think she's that hard headed, maybe you should start showing up for lunch, or drop him off and pick him up from work dressed to the 9s and wow him with a kiss in front of her sometimes. She'll hopefully start feeling like an idiot and back off.

Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it, unless HEs doing or saying something to make you worry.

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