Terrible Twos- Regressing in Sleep and Not Listening or Obeying.

Updated on June 11, 2007
M.K. asks from Havertown, PA
5 answers

My daughter turned 2 in January. She is very tall for her age and towers over the other kids. She doesn't share and she is a bully to the other kids her age. She also doesn't listen, she has been screaming and demanding. I am 7 months pregant and I suspect that she knows that she can get away with more right now. She has also started climbing out of her crib and waking up in the middle of the night. For the past two weeks- she climbs out of her crib at 3:30 am and comes into our bedroom and then won't go back to bed- I am just not sure how to handle this- anyone have any advice?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for responding, This morning and this afternoon, went a little better than it has been. I just have to stick to my guns I guess. She is STRONG willed just like her father, it is going to be a tough road!

More Answers

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C.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.
I have a two year old and just had a lillte boy on May 2nd. I know what you are going thru. She knows that something is going on and that Mommy isn't her normal self. What we did before the baby came was transistion him out of the crib into a toddler bed. It is the same size as the crib mattress, and it made him feel special. We left it in his room for a few weeks, then let him take naps in it and one night he said he wanted to sleep in his racecar bed. That was it.
He started to yell at me and tell me NO when I asked him to do something. What I have found is that I warn him that if he does it again, I will take something from him, (fav. toy or video) for the day.(then he cries, ok he wails) After I take the toy away and if the behavior continues- he goes in his room for time out. I wait until the wailing slows down, have him sit on the bed and talk to him softly about why he is in the room for time out and what will happen when he does the behavior again. It seems to be working.

We also spoke to the Dr. and he said that the best thing to do is to stick to the routine as much as possible. Esp when the baby arrives. It seemed to be the best advice so far.

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M.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, M.
I remember those days with my 2 older boys, believe it or not I will be going through it again with my 1 year old soon!
How do you discipline your child? We used the time out method b/c screaming is not going to get you what you want, you have to be aggressive towards her to let her know even though you are pregno you are still in control! Of course she knows their someone else growing in you tummy, kids notice things before we realize it "hey she knows!!!
Each time she gets out you have to be stern with her and put her back in the crib, you might have to continue to do that until she realizes hey mammy won't let me sleep with her I have to sleep in my own bed!
Another thing is you may want to watch what she looks at or if she is acting out for a particular reason, if you cater to them 24/7 with no discipline all they will know is how to bully to get what they want, that's how they become soooo demanding!
hope this helps!

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K.D.

answers from Erie on

I have a daughter that turned 2 in January also. Her behavior changed abruptly last year for no apparant reason: not obeying, hitting, throwing, screaming all the time. I found out that she is allergic to Red #40, found in a lot of fruit snacks, poptarts, even her daily vitamin. Food allergies can cause behavioral problems in small children because they don't feel well but can't find the words to express this to you. I found that red #40 was her issue through trial and error after a friend at work mentioned that her son had the same behavior problems. After being totally free of the dye for about a week my sweet little girl was back. She still throws fits, but she's 2. The tantrums aren't as violent, and it's easier to calm her down. I also am very strict with punishment. 1 warning to stop on her own, then she is removed from the situation by me and put in time out or something for not listening. No arguing with a 2 year old!

As for the waking in the night, we put our daughter in a toddler bed the month before she turned 2. I have a low baby gate in the doorway of her room and a bunch of safe toys in her room (nothing she can stand on or that will hurt her if she falls on it). She plays if she wakes in the night and then puts herself back to sleep (she can reach the light switch if she wants her light on or off). She calls for me in the morning when she wakes up.

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M.O.

answers from Pittsburgh on

The only way to get her to stop coming into bed is to consistently take her back every time she comes in. We let our daughter sleep on our floor in a sleeping bag because she frequently has bad dreams. As for her climbing out of her crib, it's time for her to be moved to a regular bed. I have never done those toddler beds, just gone straight to a twin bed. As long as you get a rail to go on the side she won't fall out. Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Take some relief in the fact that this is "normal" 2 year old behavior. It is her job to be the boss of her world and your job to not let her do it. The rules must be few and the consequences for breaking them must cost her something. In short, parents are to be the authority for their kids own good. Lots of loving relationship at the non-confrontal times and loving but unwavering resolve when boundaries are crossed. The goal is to keep her and everyone around her safe and feeling respected. It is a HARD job but these lessons learned early are shaping who she is and how she will view her world later. None of us like it when we don't get our own way, but the long range goal is to teach her coping skills that will help her in the long haul. At 2, they and their "issues" are small, but at 15... Stay the course, it is worth it.

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