Terrible Three's

Updated on September 11, 2009
L.A. asks from Victorville, CA
8 answers

Help! I have a son that is in his terrible three's stage. I need diffrent suggestions on how to discipline a three year old that is out of control when we are out in stores. It seems that he is in control when he is in home. I need suggestions on how to control him when we are on outings.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

my son is 3.5..sometimes he's a hellion too..i give him a choice between 2 things..i say..that he has a choice..1. we will leave right now or you can behave and we'll stay.
then if that doesn't work...i tell him i won't buy him toys anymore LOL! no really i usually have us leave immediately if he's miss behaving..i praise him when he does behave..i don't really punish i talk to him..and i tell him why i am telling him not to do that ..b/c they don't understand why they can't do it.

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L.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son did this too. He found out very quickly that I could find a corner ANYWHERE...even if it didn't look like a corner. Sometimes it was a mailbox etc. Fun was brought to an abrupt halt and we went straight back home if was interested in testing my boundaries. I always told him that tomorrow was a new day and we could try again. I was always VERY consistent. That's the key to the whole thing. They want to know what the boundaries are and that they'll always be there. It makes them feel safe and secure.

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M.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I so have the same issue...my 3 1/2 year old drives me nuts at the market and any where outside of home....well at home too. He got terrible twos but not really bad by 2 1/2 he was great...then on his 3rd birthday it's like someone put a spell on him and oh man.

But some things have worked for me...like i let him help me pick out things at the market and put them in the basket or help push the basket...now I have double trouble though...I also have a 2 year old daughter that worships and hates her brother at the same time...she will do what he does...so if he starts running around there she goes too.
So here is mom in the market running after two monsters.

But like one momma said...give them tasks that really helps...and getting them tired before you go helps alot too.

Good Luck to you and all of us moms with 3 year olds.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Make him part of the shopping experience. Let him pick out things or give him certain items he has to track down in the aisle you are in.

G.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear La Tres A,

As a parent coach, I can tell you that your son's behavior is very age-appropriate. I strongly recommend that, instead of trying to "control" him on outings, you focus on ways in which you can foster positive behavior on his part.

Here is an article I wrote that might be of some help to you.

http://www.gilabrown.com/GB/Blog/Entries/2009/7/21_The_Ga...

Additionally, I have a parent workshop series starting next month that would be perfect for you. The focus is on positive discipline and effective communication. (Spaces are filling up quickly, though. If you're interested, let me know.)

http://www.gilabrown.com/GB/Classes.html

Lastly, if I can be of any further assistance, feel free to contact me.
Be well,
G. B., M.A.
Child Development Specialist & Parent Educator
www.GilaBrown.com

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

Good luck! If you find a way to make a trip to the store not a 2 hour tour---let me know (: Hahaha. My 20 month old is like this on all outings. I spend most of the time chasing/playing with her in the stores. Just prepare yourself for it. Somehow find a way to appreciate and enjoy the exploration. I know-sometimes it feels impossible. But it is what gets us through every store trip. I think a thankful heart can get us through lifes difficulties.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi! I wrote a really wonderful book about this called The Restaurant Rescue Kit & Guide. You can get it at Children's Orchard in SJC or at my website www.restaurantrescuekits.com. It works EVERYWHERE. I used to not be able to go anywhere with my daughter but now we have no more tantrums and a lot of fun when we go out on errands. It has a ton of games and activities to play with them while you are shopping, dining out, at a doctor's office, waiting room, etc. I swear it's worth every penny. I have it on sale for $12.95 through xmas! But there are word games and music games and question games that you can help engage him with while you are out and about. I have a kit, also that helps a lot in waiting rooms and dressing rooms, places like that but you really only need read the book.

Dr. Laura featured it and there is a video with her review on the website.

I hope this helps!

S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

i love the first idea, where you give him a job to do. keeps him too busy to misbehave!

my little guy used to do the exact same thing! hes 7 now, but when he was 3 he was very active when he was out and about, but at home he listened and obeyed all the time! he actually still does that.

so when we are out and he misbehaves i do give him the choices like the last momma suggested. then i give a warning, two or more if he shows signs of improvement and only one if there is no change in behavior. then i count to three like this, "listen to me before i count to three or (go home, time out, etc) one...two...three!" my son would immediately do what i said at the count of three. it was like that from age 2 to age 6!!

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