My friend shared with me that her daughters school mate confessed to her that her older brothers have been "doing" things to her. I shared with my friend she really should go to the authorities because the girl needs to be protected and start the healing process of counseling. My friends husband worked in the justice system and feels liket he girl will be taken from her parents, and put in foster care, and feel like that is not the best for the girl. So they are going to confront the parents and require them to protect their daughter. Making them aware is what they are banking on. Personally all the children need help!! Those boys 13 and 16 need guidance to help them mature and sucessful young men, and the girl 11 to heal from the trama.
THe school they attend is not a public school, I don't think they have a guidance counselor. :(
Help me convience my friend that her and her husband mean well, but it will be a long, long healing process.
Remember this is not me, I do not know this little girl or her family. It's a friend Mary's daughter Sarah who told her mother Mary. I have tried to convience her that she should call for help, but this friend thinks she can help the family. Personally all three children need HELP. I just can't convience her.
The dad on here who posted... you are correct it doesn't concern me, not at all. Just asking you all your opnion to share with my friend. I will pray for this girls family.
UPDATE:
SHE TOLD!!
One of the posts shared stated that she is a assessory to crime as being the 1st adult to be aware, that really hit home with me conviencing her to tell someone in authority, beside the parents only. Talk to your children about this stuff and TELL THEM TO TELL!
Sorry but the parents are not protecting this child as it is. What's best for her is that she not be in an environment where this can be done to her any longer. I would call the authorities first but if they are uncomfortable with that ... the school counselor.
Dear God.....the conversation was the little girl's cry for help.......I would recommend informing the authorities...if she is to be removed from the house, she may be able to go live with relatives.......but obviously the current environment is toxic. Maybe your friend's daughter could encourage her friend to go to the school counselor...........
Have you ever been molested? She needs someone to stand up for her - I suggest you push this issue or try to figure out who she is and help her, this goes on for too long because someone tells someone they trust and they do nothing or not enough with the situation. Your friend is a responsible party and she drug you into it.
The authorities need to be called.
Let THEM hash out what is best for this girl.
Yes, it may take some time to determine that the brother needs to be dealt with and the daughter returned.. but in the meantime, this child needs protection and help.
Your friend needs to notify the parents but I would also suggest that she contact the school counselor and tell them what the girl confided. The school is REQUIRED to report so this will insure that it is handled. She was confided in but you only have hearsay (since the girl didn't tell you directly). If your friend doesn't do the right thing, you could talk to the school counselor yourself.
I am a mandated reporter so this is a non issue but I can tell u its not up to u to confront them and its not an automatic that she go to foster care they will look at the best options for the entire family
This is the problem and this is why so many children never get help. You should definitely call the authorities. Calling CPS I don't think will be enough. They will go out, talk to the parents and when the parents say oh, everything is fine, they will talk to the child who, being afraid, will also say everything is okay and CPS will close their file. Pretty positive this is the way it will go.
I think you need to call the police. People will be more responsive to police and will take it more seriously. You don't know the family so it's not like you'll be losing a friendship over the report. And even if you do, oh well. The child needs protection. Your friend has no hope of convincing the parents that one of their children is doing "things" to another. They will not believe it and it will go nowhere and there is nothing she can do that can "make" the parents protect the child.
If you call the police, the offending child would be the one removed from the home. The only way they will remove the victim is if the parents won't do what they need to do to protect the child.
I understand your concern, and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh - but it doesn't concern you. This is an 11 year old talking to another 11 year old talking to her mom.
You/we can pick apart the friend's mom and dad's decision - but it THEIR decision. It's out of your/our control.
If you felt so strongly about it, I would assume that you would have already called the authorities.
Sorry.
I would probably refrain from calling CPS myself and also go with contacting the parents first.
All of this is A LOT of hearsay....I mean your friend's daughter's school mate - have you never played that game were someone tells someone and by the third person it has nothing to do with what was originally said?! Has the daughter actually talked to this girl or did she hear it through the grapevine as well?
I think it would be terrible if this family was broken up because of a bunch of rumors, so contacting the parents first is appropriate in this case because by the time it gets to your friend it is basically nothing more than hearsay... if the girl confided in your friend herself so your friend is the direct contact person, I would call the police right away.
You should do more than pray.
Please read this thread:
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/12918763807094013953#r...
Dawn
I'd call the school and let them know what I know. I'd atleast do what I could to protect that girl. I would J. say exactly what you said here. It's all hearsay from your POV but they can decide whats right. I'd want to know I did everything. Even if you can;t call anyone else because you don't know names...I'd tell your friend first how upset you are and tell her you're going to tell the school in case they call her daughter in...so she knows...BUT I'd risk a hurt friendship over little girl being abused any day
When I was in college one of our classes was on sexuality. The statistics at that time were that 60% of ALL "reported" cases of incest was between siblings. That right, of the "reported" cases it was 60%, the other 40 was father, uncle, aunt, mother, cousin..... I just wonder how many times it went unreported.
It is because they are left unsupervised, they see each other naked all the time, they get exposed to the other person and it becomes familiar. They are convenient and can offer a temptation they are ill equipped to handle.
My daughter's step brothers would wrestle her to the ground and strip her clothes off and push her outside every day after school then stand inside laughing. It was very hard on her and she didn't tell anyone until she was an adult.
Incest happens all the time. It's not something that is new.
My friend took in her hubby's half sister. She is developmentally disabled as are 4 out of 6 of the kids in this family, they only have low IQ's that is all, no other qualifiers exist, they only have below 70 IQ's. My friends husband is very smart and the youngest son is perfectly normal too, he is actually very smart and makes a lot of money.
They got the girl because they found out she was pregnant, they tried to stop the abortion dad had gotten approved and were only able to get a court order for blood work from the fetus. The dad got her an abortion before the baby could be born and the paternity testing done. The court ordered an DNA test on the baby/fetus after the abortion and the baby's fathers DNA was so close to her own that there was no question the baby was either the girls fathers or one of the brothers that had developmental disabilities. The doc did say the baby was perfectly normal, it had no genetic tags that would lead him to believe the baby would be disabled.
The girl had been living with mom, come to fine out mom would tape her to the bed with duct tape and sell her for beer and cigarettes. She would laugh and watch too. When the dad found out he took her and (his story in court) then he would leave the kids at home when he went to work, they were teenagers.
He always said the baby was not his and it must have been one of the brothers. He stated in court he had caught them going at it and stopped it. The girl was so traumatized by all this that she can't even talk to a male, who could blame her.
But my point is, the sex drive is a strong deeply ingrained part of our human nature. We live to have sex to have children to live.....all human beings have a sex drive. It is our human nature. Kids are there, living it and when unsupervised they will experiment and that can lead to further inappropriate contact that will eventually lead to sexual intercourse.
I would make sure this got called in. If you know any information about this family you have an obligation to call it in yourself and tell them all that you know. It is something you have to decide, I could not knowingly let this go on if there was any way I could help end this for that child.
I would call the state office of child welfare and tell them exactly what you have told us, the name of the child if you know it, the school she goes to, how old she is, what she looks like, etc...each little bit of information might eventually lead them to the family.
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I just copied and pasted this to the other question too, sorry for those who are reading it again. But someone will only read one of these questions...
