Teenagers - Whittier,CA

I have a teenage step daughter that has given her father and I our fair share of grief! It got to the point that all her "extras" were taken away and she was to earn them back with "points". The points were earned from a varaity of things, mainly chores. Each chore was worth a certain amount, and once "X" amount was earned, an "extra" was given back. It worked very well at showing the value of the things that are not nessesities!

my son started to act out as well. but he is 12. he would talk back not listen and try to act like he was in charge. i was so upset one day i sat him down and talked to him. we sat face to face and i told him exactly how he was making me feel and how upset he had made me and hurt me. i began crying and that i guess was when he apologized for what he had been doing. i told him he is a big brother and he needs to set an example. i told him to think about how he would feel if someone did the same thing to him or if someone else treated me this way. prior to talking to him i took away all of his things (phone, computer, ipod, video games) and said until he can act the correct way he will not get any of his things back.
if your son is not comfortable talking to you maybe he can talk to another relative or friend. i've seen that my son opens up more to one of his aunts and will tell her everything he feels and tells her to talk to me or tell me things he is a little scared to talk to me about.

but after our talk he has finally opened up and we talk more to each other.

i hope things work out for you.

Hi, I would try giving him chores to do around the house. Especially outside, so he doesnt feel stuck in the house. He can mow the lawn, take out the trash, clean the yard, paint the house, etc. This will help him understand that he needs to help around the house, be a team player, and not that he is the boss. You are the boss, you are the parent. My husband was the first boy of eight children, and he had to take it upon himself to teach the other boys to help the family out. And that is what he did, he made them help him clean the outside of the house up. It taught them the value of teamwork, gave them pride in their home, and taught them who was in charge. My husband always says,, "its all about delagation". hope this helps.
M.
http://www.livetotalwellness.com/M.

My boys are 17 & 15 (daughter 13) and so God Bless you for doing this alone. Teens are tough, they are in that between stage, where they think they know everything and yet cannot completely take are of themselves. My advice would be to sit down with him calmly and explain to him how things work. YOU are the parent and YOU are the one who supplies him with the things he has SO...it's a new day, not only for him but for all the kids. Make a list of chores they must do before they are allowed things like computer, phone priviledges, going to friends, getting spending money. I'm guessing between homework and these new chores, should also keep them busy until you get home from work. My kids all do their own laundry, they have chores to do and are not allowed priviledges until chores are done. If they back talk, something is taken away. You have to be firm and consistent. Don't argue, this is not up for debate. Initially it will be harder on you than them. They will try to test you, to see if you are serious. BE SERIOUS! Good Luck, G. (let me kow how it goes)

have you tried taking privilages away (games, no phone )

Pray, sounds like you are doing a great job, perhaps one of the other children you have can talk to him while at an outting, or out of the house, together and get some insight.
Sounds like he is angry, or even sleep deprivation can make teens act out.
Is he getting enough sleep and eating properly? Sounds dumb, but first things first.
then a heart to heart and maybe something will surface as to what is bothering him.