Teen Problems - Beckley,WV

L.,

As a former EH teacher and I now work in the mental health field I can tell you that sometimes trying to take control of mom or dad or sister/brother(the family) is the way teens work out not being in control in other places. School stress, identity issues, depression. And depression is a big one in teen boys, I would try counseling, not a psychiatrist, just a psychologist (there is a difference) or a family therapist that deals with teen stress or teen depression.
Often when teens act out towards parents it is because that is where they feel safe, perhaps he isn't able to be himself at school. Whatever you do, don't give into his demands or disrespect!
Your still the mom, and if he doesn't like the way things are, and things aren't fair then charge him rent and utilities for the space he uses and the utilities he uses, and the trash he creates, tell him if he wants others to do things for him it will cost him, because that is how it works in the real world.
Goodluck!!

L.,

You're too nice. Your son should have a certain degree of fear and respect for you. Get a little scary sometimes. Also, team sports might help because coaches are good at teaching respect and cooperation. Keep him busy because it sounds like he's got it too easy.

E.

Good god..that sounds like my 4 and 5 and 8 year olds...lol. The best I can say is show no expression on your face or in your voice because if he knows it irks you, he'll keep doing it. Set a deadline for it to be done...such as "I want the trash picked up by 4:00 or you won't be_______(fill in the blank with something he wants or wants to do) then stick to it. Stay consistant with the consequenses. Consequently I feel that I should take the time to remind of one big parenting issue...here it is...Kids go start going through terrible 2 at 1 1/2 years old...terrible 2 never really goes away, you just think that they're slowly coming out of it because as they get older you're around them less (they go to daycare, school, out with their friends, etc.) and when they turn 18 you think they're totally over it...they're not...they just moved out of your house...lol...happy parenting.

You should of watched Dr. Phil yesturday. It had a boy on it that sounded like your son with exception he seemed to have a lot more anger then you described. Maybe you can view it on line. Good luck. Does your husband help out? Is he your sons father? Maybe find some one on one time. Sorry I can't help more.

I am getting that from my step-son. He was just diagnosed with ADHD but as far as the disrespect goes. The way I handle it is if he doesn't do what he is told or asked, we do not say another word about it and when he asks to do something like, play the x-box, or go to a friends house, well remember when I asked you to do this and you didnt do it, well you are not allowed to do that because it is something that you want am I am not going to do that for you. It is only fair and it that doesn't work than we take all things out of the room and they can just sit there. I hope that helps. Grounding doesn't work either here. Luckily he doesn't bother his younger brother. There is 13 years difference between the two.

Good Luck to you

L.

I know what you mean, I have a teenage son who can be that way too. I just tell him, look I asked you to do it and that it is all there is to it. I am the mother you are the child, I tell you what to do , not you me. With the questions like why cant youl, because I asked you..and take thngs away for being disrespectful. My son is 14 , i thnk it is the age , thinking they know more than us, peer pressure ect.

L.

its rough now but it does get better--teenage years yeah!! u will have to demand respect, some kids want there parents to demand it because if u don't they will run right over you. they will respect u in the long run. if u let him by with stuff it will turn into more and you will regret it. i know it is tuff, and i only have a five year old, but i saw my mom go through it with my brothers and she didnt demand respect and they turned out horrible, they are always in trouble with different things. you will have to take away things he likes, including privileges. he may be fifteen but you are still the parent and as bad as we don't want to say it our parents were right to say "as long as you live under my roof" lol hang in there and trust in God, i will keep you in my prayers!!

L.

He's being a teenager, I promise. I remember that age when I knew everything and my parents knew nothing. Grounding never worked for us. When you take things, make sure it's something he cares about, video games, tv, radio, hand held games, friends. And stay strong, if you tell him he can't have them for a week, don't give it back the next day. Sooner or later he'll grow out of it. And make sure if you send him to his room, there's not a tv or game waiting on him when he gets there. It's a stage almost all kids go through, sometimes you just have to wait it out.

my 13 year old daughter disrespects me everyday she will not do her chores tells me she is going to do what she wants has friends over after i tell her no she screams at me and tells me if i dont give her respect she is not going to give me any i tell her she has to earn my respect i dont know what to do with her anymore i tell her i love her and she tells me if you loved me you wouldnt treat me like this and what she means by that is i wont let her use the phone or the internet or have anyfriends over i cry so much over her being like this i cant take this anymore i am looking into book camp i dont want to but she needs to learn how to treat people before its to late