Teen Pregnant

M.,
Your daughters story is my own. It is so hard at that age because the boy that they are involved with has more influance than a parent and guys at that age are so selfish they don't realize the power they have over a girl that age. She is going to do what she wants and what her emotions direct her to do at this time. My suggestion is to try not be too judgemental and let her know you are there for her and love her no matter what.
I ended up moving in with my parents the last couple of months of my pregnancy. Also, one person I did listen to was the doctor. My boyfriend and father of my baby told me if I gained any weight he would leave me. So, I wouldn't eat. About the third month, my doctor sat me down and told me I was killing my baby. Well, the guy left me anyway and my parents were there to pick up the pieces and have been ever since.
Im still a single mom of an incredible 19 year old who is a Chemical Engineer major at Texas A&M. Straight A student, member of National Honor Society, Who's who among High School Students, National Science and Math merit award winner, placed top 15 in Miss Teen Houston pageant and was voted Miss. Congeniality! After her birth, my family grew closer together. She saved my life and became my reason for living. Sometimes something that seems bad at the time becomes a blessing down the line. It has not been easy, but every day I thank god for my daughter.
I haven't turned out that bad either. After my daughter was born, I still went through some challenging times with drugs and men. We moved through 7 different states and moved more times than I could count. Im 38, have a great job in Marketing and have stayed in Houston for 10 years now and feel at peace more than I ever have. Please just be there for her and that baby as much as you can!
In closing, my daughter told me the other day that her grandfather is going to be the man to give her away when she gets married since he is the most important and supportive man in her life. Best of luck!

M., I am sorry you have such a hard situation on your hand, and even more for your daughter who is obviously wrangling with a lot of painful issues.

If I may, I don't believe getting pregnant will improve anything for any teenager, and even less for a suicidal one. On the contrary the immense responsibility that a child creates might be too much, and she might feel overwhelmed. Or she might hurt the baby, if not physically, or emotionally, or neglect, or ingesting drugs and such.

I would really recommend you convince her to terminate that pregnancy immediately, which could not be more ill timed in her young life, and get her on very serious therapy until she is well again. Did the doctor prescribe antidepressant?

Hang in there.

M. I will be sure to add you in my prayers. I have girls and I can't imagine the pain and stress you feel. But always remember that GOD has a plan for EVERY ONE! It's not just for Adults, he will guide her throught this and what he allows is always right and it will be okay for you too. Just trust in the plan. Allow her to just BE! Tell her right from wrong try to help where you can and LEAVE the rest up to the universe and GOD.

Sincere Prayers.

Hi M.
I am so sorry to hear of your troubles.This may be hard to swallow but they are not your troubles they are your daughters.She is about to be a MOM!I am not sure what you are asking for except that you want to know if you should tell the doctor that she tried to commit suicide before and that she is depressed.ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! I believe that she is still a minor and that you should tell the doc. everything you know.I would suggest that you let the doctor know either before hand or without your daughter knowing.Just guessing here but I think that your daughter will get angry with you if you tell him/her the doc.Any attempt or mention of suicide should be taken seriously.As you know your daughter is about to embark upon the hardest yet most wonderful journey in her life,of which I am sure she does not have any grasp of yet.This is when she will need you the most her existing depression coupled with possible post pardum she is going to need you. How involved is the boyfriends family?She can still go to college although it will be tough.She made her decision to have this child.Now about you IF YOU DONT TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH ISSUES NOW YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO,I dont know what they are so I pray that it is something controlable.Another question about your daughter is she on meds now?Anyway my main point is that very soon your daughter legally will be able to make her own choices and it is important that you keep the lines of communication open.Take care of yourself so that you will be able to take care of your other children and soon you grandchild.
Best Wishes to you and your family

I have 3 boys. I do not agree with letting any of my kids get off on of the path to success for any reason. God gave me the path to raise my children to be selfsupporting, providers, & skilled/sensable family men. If I bauch that job then I have to answer to God at the Pearly Gates!
However my oldest is 18. He still does not have the right to leave! He does many things I do not like but I love him.
Seeing your situation through a like eyes the disappointment is overwhelming. Your daughter does need help to get back on track whether it is a counselor or drugs?? It almost sounds like she is bi-polar. I would be telling all I know to all involved for the better of all parties who obviously are all irresponsible teens.
Watch out! What your other daughters see is what they will try as they get older. It might help to have them all go the counseling for awhile.
Hope this helps you.
____@____.com

I can relate to your daughter. I had my first pregnancy at 21 and went a little crazy. Up until my 8th month I would tell everyone how much I didn't want to have this baby. I wasn't the person anybody wanted to be around. I hated myself... I can go on and on...it was bad.

A lot of it had to do with my boyfriend at the time. He put me through so much and I didn't want my parents to know "they were right and I was wrong" because it was too late for me to change anything. I thought about killing myself but never told anyone because I was too embaressed they would think I was crazy.

I now know that pregnacy will do that to you. Give your daughter lots of love. Tell her doctor EVERTHING you know. There is medication that can help her. Don't let her go through this pregance feeling like this. You don't want her to have a sour memory of her pregnancy like me. I was so scared of having children when I remarried for that reason. I have had two pregnancies after that one bad one and they where great(boys)! And I have a great husband!

After I had my baby I left my ex and moved back in with my parents. My depression went away.

M. did you talk to your daughter about sex I didn't see where you said that, your daughters self esteem seems very low, if you have a good communication with the doctor set up a consultation tell him/her what has happen with your daughter this way the doctor will have FACTS about her past experience and let him/her know what meds she has taken while in the mh.This way your doctor will have a better insight to your daughters mental & physical condition and will know what meds if any to prescribe to your daughter. Look we are talking about an unborn your grandchild your doctor should give you that time needed I hope he/she will. Now lets talk about whats real here if your daughter wants to stay where she is so be it stop trying to make her understand your concern for her and your grandchild to be, now there will be a time when she doesn;t want to be bothered with the baby because she wants to go out with her friends , the answer is no when you and I had are children we did what we had to do even when we didn't feel like it or if we were sick. She must learn that one night of love making there is a price to pay its called responsibility and she needs to get familiar with it. Don't forget you still have two other daughters to raise and this is your opportunity to tell them this is the price you will pay no dances, proms,basketball games,etc. When you start having children at that early age your time is not your ownyour daughter needs to understand that. I hope your daughter will continue to go to school just because she's pregnant is no excuse.
Now for me I have been there done that with my daughter she was only 14 with my first grandchild, you talk about mad and upset these were my rules I would babysit every now and then I told her you made it, you take care of him any advice I will be there for you, but don't think I'm going to watch the baby while you go to a football game, basketball game,etc. She dropped out of school(I was truly p.....) and she found out she couldn't get a job w/o her HSD even at a McDonalds. She finally went back to school and she admitted to me I should have listened mom. It took her some years to realize how important school is. Well now I have four grandchildren believe this if you will they are all by the same man and they got married. I hope your daughter will step up to the plate, help her anyway you can I did I am 13 years your senior with five children their ages 28,27,19,21,15,(single parent)you have a support system your husband, mine is Jesus include Jesus in your support system and remember a family that prays together stays together. Go on with your family include her when she wants to be involved I hope she comes around it took my daughter a long while but she did its gonna be a long ride but you can do it. God bless you and your family.Let me know how things go(____@____.com) Lady D