Teachers Complaining

You did not overreact. Let her earn back one thing a day that she can get a good report in school, but you might let her have the use of them on the weekend since you want this to be school-related. Good luck!

Been there. You did not over react. My honors student (now a senior) did the same thing. Not only did it earn him a zero, it did the same for the boy he was trying to help. He almost flunked that year but we got lucky. After a meeting with the principal, counselor, all his teachers & a rep from downtown, he was allowed to re-take the test. It was a close call but I think it was what convinced him that there are time he should keep his mouth shut & there are actually times when it doesn't pay to be helpful to others.

Well now that you took all of that away, are you going to have her earn each item back with each day that the teacher says she is being quiet?

I was a talker too. I also tended to finish before everybody else.. I had to write a note on and tape it to the edge of my desk to remind me to "be quiet. " I never really quit talking, I just had to be as quiet as possible.

My teachers allowed me to keep books to read when I was finished with my work. I just had to make sure to bring them to school.

For the TAKS all of the students are supposed to have a book (no magazines) to read once they finish the test.Make sure your daughter takes one or more books to read. They are not allowed to write or draw once they are finished. Our daughter loved TAKS because she would get to read her own choice of books and lots of times she finished before most of the other students. We used to make a special trip to the bookstore so she could pick out about 4 books.

This was the story of my life. Every single report card - academics straight "A"s, "deportment," big problem. She needs something to do when she finishes early. Thank God my teachers began letting me read or draw in the back of the room. If her teachers expect her to sit quietly with her head down till everyone finishes they are dreaming.

Unfortunately "gifted" and "disruptive" often go together. Get her evaluated and get her a teacher who understands. They did not exist in the early sixties but they do now. My mother did not "get" me and punished too. All it did was show me she did not understand me. Now, at 80, she finally does and is a great advocate for the disruptive little grandchildren she loves so much.

I turned out fine. I had a great high school experience with plenty of friends but knocked around aimlessly in college - until computers came along! I was a systems analyst and a Banking executive for years. Your daughter will do well, I promise. I had a couple of chatty Cathies of my own and they both turned out well too. Take heart. Give the kid her electronics back - she'll probably be inventing the next generation of devices in a couple of decades.

It just sounds like she doesn't have impulse control. there may be behavior modification techniques that she can do. deep breathing, etc. She seems to do things without first thinking. I would talk to your doctor to see if they can recommend someone to help your daughter with her impulses. She sounds like a delight, but just needs a little training, which will do her a lot of good.

She sounds like a talker and not someone who would ADHD. DO not ask the doc bc they simply stick lables on kids who aren't. Try to explain why she is having theses items taken away, let her have them back on the weekend and let her earn them back (let her chose). Also try getting her into books that helped me when I was going through taks. I am very talkitive and had to find something to entertaine me so try getting a book she would like and get her to use it during the week she has no electronics.This way she can learn to entertain herself and when the next TAKS comes up ask her to pick out a book she likes and read it till the teachers say talk again =) Good Luck-------Ash

Yeah, I think you may have over reacted a tad, but we ALL have done it so don't be hard on yourself. I agree that it sounds like impulse control. Let the school impose school infractions, but keep working with her to understand. Hopefully she will get it eventually. But it may take awhile so try not to encourage her. She probably feels a little out of control and doesn't understand it herself.

Try to explain to her that her constant talking doesn't hurt HER, because she is finished with her work, but it can be distracting to CLASSMATES, and to the TEACHER.

Try brainstorming-- with her-- about other ways she can occupy her self when she is done. Maybe she can be a teacher's helper? Extra credit projects? Maybe she can write a journal and put her thoughts in there instead? Maybe she can read more? Draw?

That sounds like me as a child!!!!! Is she impulsive? She just has to talk? If so, way back then I was told I had ADHD. I hate labels but when I got to college I really noticed. I got on meds that hekped me to focus more and to help me thinking before I talked! I went all throgh school as the chatty kid and some grades were harder than others. I probably wouldn't have taken away all her toys b/c I remember it being soooo hard to keep quiet and remember to keep quiet Hang in there! I turned out fine and she will too!!

Overreacted, no.

Does she not understand what goes on with TAKS testing. If she got up and started "helping" other students, she could have gotten her test taken away as well as the students she "helped".

Students are not allowed to make one peep during the TAKS test, this is a very serious thing and she has got to understand that. They are taught from pre-k/kinder what it's like on testing days and how imperative it is to stay quiet.

That she is still having problems understanding this concept is a problem. She has got to understand the importance that is placed on this test. Teachers can loose their job because of students' poor performance on the TAKS. Taking away all those things from her could give her a view of what it would be like for a teacher to lose their job because of this. They would lose everything they have.

Reading, journaling or drawing are great if she likes to do those kinds of things. For those students who don't like those, I would help them find things they can DO quietly at their desks or in the back of the room. Meet with her teacher to see what is acceptable. If she is analytical, there are lots of puzzle books or hands on kinds of puzzles. One teacher I know always keeps a jigsaw puzzle in the back of the room. Others have building or assembly kinds of objects. Kids can work on those when they are done with their work.

THis is a tough one. One the one hand, you want the natural consequences to happen. What is the outcome at school when these issues happen? The school cannot just rely on you to do all the discipling. But, you do not want to over discipline.

Since this is spring break week (at least it is for us) wipe the slate clean. Let her know that she has all her privileges back and that they are hers to lose. Make sure she understands ALL the expectations from you and the teacher. If it is unacceptable for her to talk, get out of her seat, etc. Make sure she knows that. Check in with her daily on her choices. Email or meet with the teacher and see what the school consequences are for the issue (sometimes their consequences are meaningless to the child).

Good Luck!

NO you did not over react. It is important for the school that she not talk during the test. It will invalidate her test and who ever she talks to.

i do not think you over reacted. but i do wish the school would figure out a place to put the kids once they finished there test. i remember in highschool being done and waiting several hours just sitting there all quiet, no notes passed, no talking , no books just sitting there. would it be that hard to let the kids go to another room once done???

My son also has self control issues especially when it come to talking. I would suggest for you to contact the school and get the school counselor involved. That is what they are there for. It really surprises me that the teachers do not utilize the school counselor more often. If you go to the Fort Bend County ISD web site and read the information regarding the school counselors it states that they are there to help children, but they rarely step in without a parent asking. (At least that has been my experience.)

The great thing about the school counselor is that they can be an advocate for your child. They are there during the school day, which we parents can't always be, so they are aware of what is going on. My sons school counselor worked with him and gave him tips and exercises to help with self control and it really worked. Self control issues are not necessarily ADD or ADHD, but they can be a problem. Your daughter needs to learn tools to help her get a handle on her self control.

Good luck!

Maybe you could explain that she could really help by modeling or being an example of what you should do when you're done. Ask her to be a good friend to the other students by not distracting them when they are trying to focus or concentrate on their work. And help her to know that there is a time and an appropriate place for everything. She can practice this at home by having some times when she can be asked to just be considerately quiet (during the T.V. movie - and chatting on commercials, etc.) Sounds like she's a very smart girl and I'll bet she can be challenged to be considerate as well.

You should talk to the teacher and other people at the school. If this is a constant problem and she is not able to stop talking, then it would benefit her and the other students to have her take major tests in a small group or 1-on-1 with a teacher. Or she may need more help with social skills such as learning boundaries or getting clues of how to behave by observing the other kids.

My son(who has Aspergers/ADHD) has taking tests in small groups written into his behavior plan. In his case he is not just talking constantly but also singing, buzzing, humming, tapping his pencil, poking holes in his shirt, and getting up and wandering around. For him, ADHD meds made a dramatic difference and I can even tell at the end of the day when it wears off the noises start again.

Don't second guess yourself on the punishment. IT was the right thing for this situation. She does need to learn this, Maybe you could ask the guidance counselor for some other ideas.