Tantrums When Getting up to Use the Potty in the Night?

Updated on June 14, 2010
K.T. asks from Lookout Mountain, GA
12 answers

My three-year old daughter stopped using diapers about three weeks ago. She informed me that she did not want to use diapers at all. I had wanted to potty train her sort of cold-turkey anyway, so I thought it would be best to let her try to just use the potty. She did just fine for several days--dry during naps, all through the night, and very few accidents during the day.

Then after a week or so she started having accidents in the night. After two nights of doing laundry at three in the morning, I decided to try getting her up when I go to bed around 10:30 to try to use the potty. Overall, she barely wakes up, goes on the potty, and is pretty much asleep before I get her back in bed.

But the last few days, she's been throwing a fit once I get her in the bathroom--stiffening, tantrum, refusing to go. Twice she finally calmed down and went, but last night she threw a tantrum and I just put her back in bed. She was still dry through the night last night.

Is she throwing a tantrum because she's not really awake? Do any of you take your preschooler to the potty in the night and have trouble with tantrums? I'm beginning to think I just need to risk a wet bed.

Thanks for any advice!!

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So What Happened?

Hi everyone,

Doing much better. I've been limiting her drinks at dinner and after (she goes down at 8) and have her go potty before bed. She's been dry for several nights, so I'm glad that did the trick. I'll use your suggestions for layers of sheets etc. if she starts having accidents again. Thanks again for the response!

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D.T.

answers from Detroit on

You can also put layers on her mattress. I have twin boys, and the best advice I got was from my best friend (who has triplets). She told me to put as many layers (of sheets/sheet saver...or cotton/rubber mattress cover) as I can as it would help me when middle of the night problems come up. Now, if there is an issue (and my boys share a room so I try not to wake the other one up with to much noise) all I have to do is strip the top sheet and mattress cover off, put the stuffed animals, pillow and blanket back in and I am done is 2 minutes. Hope this helps :) Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

I would though a fit too if you woke me to use the restroom. I don't take kids to the bathroom after they are asleep. Put a pull-up on her and let the poor little thing sleep. When her body is mature enough she will quit wetting in the night. You might limit the amount of liquid she is taking in before bed. Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Like some of the other moms mentioned, night time training is different than day time training. Even though kids do great during the day, they have very little control (physically) over what happens at night. Even though she may want very much to be dry at night, either her bladder is not growing as fast as the rest of her, or she is not producing enough of the enzyme that shuts off urine production while she is asleep, or she sleeps very heavily - in any case she has no control over it. Just put night time pull-ups on her. My older daughter, who was potty trained at 24 months, had to wear pull ups at night until she was almost 5 (which she hated and was so embarrassed about even though we told her it was not her fault), and then one day she was able to stay dry all night, like magic. My younger daughter was day and night trained at 24 months with no issues. It is what it is, just go with it and let her sleep at night. She needs her sleep.

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K.R.

answers from Louisville on

You could also try cutting liquids off 2 hrs. before bedtime. That way it has time to go through her system before she goes to bed. We did that with are two older girls when they were potty training age. Hope this helps.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I never wake my daughter. She's been dry through the night since 23 months. We had a few accidents in the beginning and I did a 5 nights dry for undies routine.

I have the bed double layered, so I have two pads down, with two sets of sheets. That way, if she has an accident, I can just quickly strip the bed, throw the sheets into a laundry basket, and get us all back to bed.

If it was me, I'd put her in pull-ups at night, doing a 3 or 5 nights dry, then you get undies. If she has an accidents, then back to diapers.

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L.Y.

answers from Saginaw on

Diapers are designed to keep the furniture dry. I would tell her that she needs to wear a diaper at night until she can stay dry for three nights in a row. Since she already doesn't want to wear them it will be an incentive for her.

Also, have you tried not giving her liquids after dinner?

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'd be temperamental too if someone was waking me from a nice slumber to go to the bathroom.

You can take 2 approaches from my point of view:
1. Insist on pull-ups/diapers until she's more consistent in going to the bathroom.
2. deal with the occasional accident

Our son is 4 today and has been waking the past few evenings needing to go to the bathroom. He's tired, he'd rather be asleep, and he's temperamental. He's been potty trained almost a year, so I'm guessing this is related to something else. We keep the lights off, make it quick, wash his hands with baby wipes/hand sanitizer and get him back in bed as quickly as possible.

There are several different states of sleep that our bodies cyclically go through several times each night. You could be getting her at a difficult stage of sleep to disrupt which may be causing the issues. I'd personally opt for the pull-ups until you feel you have it mastered.....that could be years from now depending on the child.

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A.P.

answers from Knoxville on

My daughter was potty trained just before she turned 3 but I still put her in pull-ups until she was 5. I think this is the average age kids are when they stop wetting the bed. I would put a pull-up on her and if she stays dry through the night for a couple of weeks, try taking it off, and if she has an accident, put them back on. I wouldn't wake her up to going to the restroom. She throwing tantrums because she is sleepy and doesn't want to be bothered. My son just turned 5 and we still put a pull up on him. Boys are just older when they stop having accidents. The doctor said at his 5 year appointment that this was perfectly normal. 3 is still very young to go through the night without wetting. I wouldn't put too much pressure on her.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Yes, she is tired.

next, night-time dryness.... is biological based and entirely DIFFERENT than day time pottying.
Night time dryness, can take up until 7 years old to attain.
Per pediatricians.
This is normal.

My daughter was already 5 years old, still wearing night diapers... and then at some point during that year, when 5 years old, she then said she is fine and can wear underwear at night. And indeed, she was.
She is 7 now, and still has an occasional pee accident at night.
I just use a waterproof bed-pad under her... and it makes clean up real easy. I have 4 of them and just rotate it.

I NEVER woke my kids... just to pee at night.
I rather them get a good nights sleep, uninterrupted.
Then when old enough... and able biologically, they will be dry at night.
My daughter is a deep sleeper and even had a dream once that she WAS on the toilet, until she felt herself wet. NO biggie.

all the best,
Susan

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B.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

My son is ten and still has wetting issues. His tantrums are horrible. I put him back in goodnites and only wake him up when he's had a lot to drink before going to bed. He is dry about 75 percent of the time.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

dont give her anything to drink after about 7 pm make sure she goes potty before she goes to bed. to save on the laundry bill go to the drug store and get "piddle pads" to put under her at night. we did that with our 3 year old and it worked great! but dont try to wake her up in the night she will eventually get up and stay up if you do that

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