Tantrum Toddler--Help!

Updated on July 19, 2011
D.C. asks from Aurora, CO
4 answers

My daughter is 2yo2mo and has suddenly turned into the seemingly most tortured child on Earth. I cannot get her dressed without forcing clothes on her. Feeding. Getting in the car seat. Getting out of the carseat. Going to bed. Etc. You name it, she acts like i am dragging her through all levels of hell by her toenails and even cries "ouch!". I have to adjust my schedule to accomodate her tantrums. I have tried waking her up slowly and holding her first; dressing her while she sleeps (she wakes); letting her take her time getting in and out the carseat; ignoring her cries, talking to her to see what is wrong; etc. I am out of ideas. I looked up other posts and most say that it is just a phase but this just seems so extreme to me. Although, once things are done most of the time, all is hunky dory. This just started within the last two weeks. I have missed appointments and have been late everyday to work. I have to figure something out. ANY suggestions are welcome. I am weighing maybe she is going through a growth spurt or something. She does have all her teeth already. Thanks in advance.

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So What Happened?

It seems there are multiple factors I have had to consider. I sat down with her child care providor and she says that she had a child that she had to expel due to his mean nature towards the other children. That's one. Two, I have tried to slow down getting ready in the morning and let her make more decisions as to the actions that go on like "would you like to sit up?", "do you want cereal?", "would you like to put your shoes on?", etc. That has helped the battle. I still get the attitude here and there but it is more tolerable. If I make it so the decision to do something is hers and teaching her how "fun" it is, there is no strain. Now to get her to do what I want on her own when she doesn't want to it is another battle. We are also dealing with major growing pains as well which ecplains a lot of the "ouch" screams. Thank you all for your suggestions!

More Answers

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

Did anything change in her life when this started? I would try waking her earlier, maybe getting her to bed earlier, then making her feel like she has choices. "Which shirt do you want to wear today?" Give her time warnings - "we are leaving in 5 minutes" and if there is one thing I have heard positive things about (including from my own children), it's to make it fun! My DS2 HATES when it's time to clean, but if I tell him I'm going to set the timer, he'll ask how long he has and gets busy! See, I don't set it as a punishment or threat of one. I set it as a race and if the time is getting close but I know he's cleaning, I'll quietly add a minute or two so that he feels like he won. He LOVES the race of it. :) You could try that with getting ready - "Let's race and see how quickly we can get dressed/buckled in our carseat/etc.!"

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from Denver on

The best thing you can do to support yourself is to educate yourself on child development and discipline techniques. 1-2-3 Magic is a great book that can help you understand what is going on in you and your daughters world right now and gives you simple solutions. There are many great classes available and I highly recommend you seek out even one class; it can make all the difference in whether the next few years are a constant battle or a time to enjoy your beautiful daughter.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Talk to your pediatrician about Sensory Integration Disorder. My son started hating to get dressed around the same age. we forced them on him and if we held his arms so he wouldn't take them off he ripped them off with his teeth like they were scalding him. Turns out, they sort of were.

We got him into the Infant and Toddler services program for our state seeing an OT and it was amazing.

Get a book called the 'out of sync' child and see if it doesn't fit her.

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M.O.

answers from Fresno on

My best friend and I both have kids that are the same age and some days they fight everything. My oldest did the same at age 2. Does your child have the 2 year molars yet? My daughters started coming in this last week. I think it is just the age and fight for independence. I give my daughter choices on what to wear and that seems to help. Good Luck and it will get better soon.

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