Tamper Tantrums

That is so completely normal! It might seem young for temper tantrums, but it's not. I worked in an infant room at a day care for over 2 years. We would crack up over these little guys throwing big fits!
There is no way to stop it, other than let them work it out. If you react too strongly, you will feed the fire, and end up with a MAJOR cry baby!

Ignore the child. As long as the child is clean/fed/no dangerous items within reach... the child is okay. do not feed into the child's whims. The child is learning or has learned how to manipulate you to her satisfication.

hi Y.,

from what I've read temper tantrums are really quite normal. (As you may have noticed, even adults have them--but that's probably a sign that they weren't given the tools to deal with their emotions when little). My son was having this problem some time ago, and at first I just got angry at him and we butted heads--that made the situation worse.

Then I read a really interesting article on mothering.com (excellent parenting site which advocates 'mild discipline'). I recommend you go there and read what they have (I just googled 'tantrum'.) Then I tried the following approach: I would let the tantrum happen without trying to stop it, while keeping calm (that can be hard sometimes, I know) and eventually I would ask "do you need a hug?. The answer was invariably yes. The tantrums have gotten much better, but he's now (at age 3 and a bit) able to ask for the hug himself as soon as the tantrum starts, and that immediately makes it better.

The theoretical basis of this is that young children simply have a very hard time controlling or even understanding their emotions; anger for them is like an uncontrollable force that takes them over. It can even make them scared of themselves, not to mention make them scared that you will not love them anymore. So what they need is reassurance that you are there to help them through this, that you love them through it. Later on when they are calm and the storm has passed, the parent and child can talk about what is appropriate behavior and not, why the child got angry, that it's the anger itself is ok, though it's not ok to take it out on other people by for example hitting or insulting them. Eventually, if all goes well, the child will learn to deal with the emotion successfully.

Good luck!
G.

Your 10mos old doesn't have any way to express her feelings of frustration other than thru a tantrum. Until mine have good verbal (not just vocal) skills, I try to comfort them as best I can. If it's frustration b/c she wants something she can't have b/c it's dangerous, etc - that's different than her being frustrated about a toy or inability to walk, run, do a puzzle, open pages, whatever else.
A book that has proven useful to me with both of mine is
How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Faber & Mazlish
amazon.com has it for about $6.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038081...

Help your baby learn that however frustrated she may be, that mommy will be there to help her figure it out in a positive way.

hth
K., mama to
Catherine, 4y
Samuel, 15m

At our 9 month appointment, the pediatrician warned us of this behavior and she said to ignore it. When she starts to have a tantrum either walk out of the room without making eye contact or saying anything OR put her in her crib until she stops. Whenever my daughter has a little tantrum, I just let her. When she realizes it's not helping her get what she wants (after a few seconds), she stops and starts acting normal again.

Yes, it's a stage that will last about 3 years..... no but my son does the same thing and we just ignor him and he gets over it relativly quickly. Just hang in there it will get beter and you are not alone.

My son learned tantrums from ONE stay in a day care. It took me almost a year to break him of it. I treated it negatively. I ignored him the first time, scolded him the second time, swatted his diaper the third time and then went back to ignoring him, etc.. Just make sure she doesn't get what she wants from the tantrum and consistently treat the tantrum negatively. Good luck.

My son started throwing his terrible two tantrums when he was about 10 months old also... at first i was shocked and panicked like what happened to my sweet boy?? but I realized that he had just figured out that he had a little bit more independence than he had previously had. we just had to be patient and work with him through those temper tantrums. soon he learned a dfiferent way to communicate his feelings with us and it has been wonderful. We also had been teaching him sign language to comunicate easier with him and after that it seemed like he was less frustrated. My son is now going to be two on sunday and he is doing wonderful.

No matter what the age, acting up is no fun without an audience...someone to respond to the actions. Just put the child in the bed and let her scream. With on action on your part, she'll soon get the picture.

At her age that is the only way she has of expressing that she doesn't like something, or wants your attention. When she starts to throw one try walking off and ignoring her, that worked with my boys. I've got two boys ages 24 and 17. Three god(grandaughters), ages 6,2 and 1 years old with a boy on the way. Most of the time when my 2 year old starts pitching one of her hellasios fits, I look straight at her and in a STERN but not loud voice and say "THAT'S ENOUGH YOUNG LADY" and she stops. Remember you don't have to yell to get your point across! It's the authority in your voice that works. Hope this helps, and she's got alot more stages to go thru. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great!! P.

Tempter Tantrums- My son has had some small ones. I think it is because they are becoming more independent, they are realizing they are their own person and want to do things on their own. My son will hit, slap, bite or push me away if I am trying to tell him "no, no" or when I try to pick him up off the floor when i can see he may getting into something he shouldnt be. I think its normal. My pediatrician said to make sure i give him a firm "no" and a little squeeze of the arm, to let him know its not acceptable.

This is a very long stage that needs to be dealt which according to the situation or else it will pretty miserable for both of you. You cannot reward the tantrum with giving in or else it will just encourage more tantrums.
Be patient, sometimes tantrums start out because the child is frustrated that she can't communicate what she wants (after she learns to talk, the tantrums go down considerable), or frustrated that she can't do something else. And sometimes the tantrum is because she is testing you, so be consistent with the rules.

Y.,

Oh what memories this one brought back. While my children never did this, my grandson did, 2 times. He would throw himself on the floor and kick and scream for what seemed an eternity. That is until I did the same thing. When he went down so did I, and when he started screaming his lungs out, so did I. Well, he didn't like this and stopped immediately. He started to do this one more time, but he saw that I was following right behind him. He was just barely over a year old when this happened. He is now 13 and has NEVER had a temper tantrum again.

Girl my daughter is 2 1/2 and we are still going thru the fit throwing and temper tantrum stage. Others tell me it will get better, I don't know. The only advice I can give you is don't give in, or it will get worse. Trust me from experience.

Have a great day!

D. Mattern-Muck
The MOM Team
Raise your income and your rugrats at the same time!
www.formyrugrats.com

Talk to your mother or parents that raised you! I was appalled when my daughter hit the floor and rolled and screamed waaayyy before 10 months (she's very intelligent). When I talked to my mother she laughed and told me I did the same thing to her. KARMA
Once children learn (early) that tantrums elicit no response they will do it to express themselves but not too terribly bad. My daughter is now 14 months and had a tantrum on yesterday when her dad left for work. I let her roll the living room floor until I finished dressing. She was safe, no objects were in her way and she is well capable of not flinging her head to the ground. (She stops drops rolls over and over until she is tired or laughing)
Redirect her attention to something else but I do let her know it is not nice, "tantrums are ugly" but she will grow out of them, I did about 12 months ago and I'm 28 years old!!!
LOL
Enjoy and don't try to assess your baby too much!!!

I have a 4 year old that still throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way; whatever you do don't give into them! They will test you for years, it may not stay at temper tantrums, it could progress to arguing their point of view like my eldest son(12) or just going to their room to pout like my middle child(10). Good Luck!

My baby is 13 months old and has been doing the same thing since she was about 11 months. She gets mad and throws her toys. She will be in the playpen, I will be checking something on my computer and she will throw a toy at it. I think it is just a normal phase that not all but a lot of kids go through. My husband told me maybe it is her way of fighting for my attention. Up until she was 10 months old, she only had to share me with her sister. Now she has to share me with her sister and her dad. He was deployed to Iraq since before she was born and came home when she was 10 months old, so he said he thinks she is trying to compete for my attention.

Ten month olds do not throw tantrums.
You may need to see her Dr.
She is trying to communicate to you a need.
Tantrums start about 2 yrs.