Talkative 2 1/2 Year Doesn't Talk at "School"

It's probably just her personality. My nephew was the same way and now we can't get him to stop talking. My son talks so much at school he gets into trouble so maybe it's a good thing.

I would strategize with the teachers on how to handle this. My LO is also a bit shy at school (but not at home) and we recently did this. The teachers make extra effort during circle time to make sure he has a chance to speak up. For example, if they ask "what animals are on a farm?", some kids will jump right in with answers. Then they take a second to ask my son "what do you think?" and give him a minute to answer. If he doesn't want to, they move on, no pressure, but it gives him the opportunity to talk in front of his peers and keep him involved in the activity.

You also want to make sure they are giving some positive attention to her when she does talk, even as simple as a response of "thank you so much for telling me XXX, that's great" or "nice job asking Natalie to share the toy", etc.

You could also help facilitate by having your child tell her friends and teachers "hello" every morning when you arrive and "goodbye" when you pick her up (or even asking her to tell the child she's playing with "thanks for playing today", etc) - just to get her talking to others while feeling safe with you there.

I wouldn't think you need an "intervention" at this point, but if the teachers have noticed that she is quiet, it's certainly reasonable to discuss with them ways to help draw her out in the classroom.

good luck!

I dont think from what you are telling us that intervention is needed. If in a few months, it gets continues or gets worse, then maybe. That is hard age to determine anything. You are her mother though, and if it concerns, then do what you need to do. If she talks to you, then she is ok. I watch kids, and sometimes just the littlest things can quiet a child(something scared them, not really comfortable in a surrounding or just the way they are). Hope all goes well.

A.,
I have a son, now 5 and in Kindergarten, who is QUITE talkative at home but he tends to be shyer at school. All kids are different (I think you know this!). They develop lots of things on their own schedule. I am a very talkative, outgoing person, and, at times, found it hard to see my son being shy around kids he's familiar with.
She's only 2 and a half. If her "report card" had concerns about language development, talk to the staff about whether it's just a shy/quiet issue or if she has difficulty with certain words or expressing herself. At that age, lots of letter sounds are just too hard for them to form with their moths so I wouldn't be concerned about things like "wuv you, wittle or big" etc.
It's most likely nothing. She may just be the kind of thing who doesn't rattle on nless she has something important to say! My son always tended to be more of an observer-type.

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Some children don't like to talk to adults much or like to talk in crowds. Also she is only 2 1/2.

My almost 4 yo is very quiet in school. I can't get her to stop talking at home! She is an observer, she watches, pays attention but in school does not like to participate vocally during class. For two years her teachers comment is " I wish she would share more with the class". Some children are quiet in large social environments and not intimate ones, and even more different in "comfortable" situations. My DD is even more adventerous when her big sister is there. As long as she is doing well at home and your pediatrician does not have any concerns, and she is paying attention at school just not vocally sharing at school I would take it in stride and see how she develops.

Enjoy the observer, you never know what they will notice!

Hi A......you didn't mention the dynamic of the classroom..sometimes this will have an affect on a childs willingness to participate. My now 18 yr old daughter was very quiet in the classroom...all through..but would talk my ear off at home...i wasn't concerned because when she did talk she pronounced things appropriately and her responses and questions were appropriate. Talk to her teachers, maybe she has adapted to a specific role within her group...they have been together for 18 mos...good luck...M.

My husband and his sister had quite the reversal. My hubby wasn't a big talker at home but couldn't shut up at school, to the point where it was part of the problem why he was held back in 1st grade! His older sister talked fine at home but rarely said a word at school, which was part of the reason why she was held back in 1st grade. They both graduated high school and both are fine talking adults today. They're both a bit shy with people they don't know but nothing major.

I'm wondering why they took so long to tell you that she's not talking much. First, ask the teachers to slowly and gently get her to talk more. At home, start practicing with her to talk to strangers or to those she doesn't know well. If you see the mailman or a delivery person, prompt her to say hello and goodbye, have her talk on the phone, prompt her to talk to sales people and cashiers, etc. One of my triplets didn't talk much either, but he's come out of his shell. I used singing in the car to help him. He didn't talk much at home or out. He's 4 now and I took the triplets to get their hair cut last night. Never in my life have I seen that boy talk so much to a stranger, lol. He was going on and on about Halloween and Christmas coming and the decorations in the salon and so on. I just sat there and let him go and was thinking, "Go boy, go!" LOL

I think if the daycare teachers aren't concerned about articulation, about how well she can talk when she does talk, I wouldn't be too concerned. At 2 1/2, that's young and she will come out of her shell. Just keep prompting her to talk in places that she normally doesn't.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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My daughter started preschool at almost 3 and is in pre-k now at 5. She didn't speak to her teachers the entire first year. The next year was a little better and this year is better yet. She is by no means talk-a-tive, but she is gaining confidence slowly and participating in the activities where she feels comfortable. She is reading (though often is shy about showing you) and know many math concepts. I have no concerns academically. I do not have concerns anymore socially, but have come to realize that she is just a quieter child and a bit more cautious in situations outside of our house. She is more outgoing on the playground, but is still quieter. Over the past 3 years she has grown (many times slowely) to develop friendships and works well with other children - even louder one. She will often be more willing to participate or talk if she does not feel like she is the center of attention - she'd rather be the helper than the star. Though it's funny because she loves to perform in her dance shows. Kids are so silly!

I notice a few girls in my daughter's circle of acquaintances who are very quiet. They aren't afraid or sad or anything, they love to be "in the group". They smile and run and jump right in with the fun, and they are super smart, but they hardly ever talk! I even know some adults like this. Like my husband's best friend, the nicest guy in the world, but it's exhausting asking him questions all the time, getting one word answers, and having him otherwise just sit there. I think this is definitely her personality for now. She could change anytime, but if she's happy, and you know she CAN talk, I wouldn't worry about it.