Dear Moms,
In about a month, I have to fly out of state for one day to take medical boards (leaving in the morning, and returning in the early evening the following day) and am completely unsure what to do with our 16 month old. I am not flying to a city where have any family, though we do have friends and I'd have to leave our daughter with a stranger for several hours. Although my husband is feeling anxious about watching her, he's willing to do it because he realizes it does not make sense for me to take her. At the moment, she still nurses before a morning nap and before bed (and occasionally she'll ask for it in the afternoon if she's feeling grumpy or tired). During the night she might wake once or twice, asking to nurse, as well, and that's the part my husband is most nervous about. So, what would you do? Would you bring her? Leave her? Work on weaning her over this next month? Or, perhaps leaving her with him will jumpstart the weaning process?
Thanks!
Thank you for all the advice and good wishes. We decided to all go, though my husband will of course be watching her for about 6 hours while I'm taking the exam. The decision was not based on any worries (neither on my part nor his) that he would not be competent. On the contrary, he is home quite a bit throughout the week and does many special and wonderful activities with our daughter. He doesn't need to "bond" with her in the way, perhaps, some other fathers might who are working longer hours and are home less. To the person who wanted to know if he has ever gotten up with her...yes, he has. I understood his anxieties about being left with a baby who still nurses and is a poor sleeper, even if the nursing is more for comfort, but that wasn't a factor that went in to our decision (after all, she's bound to want to nurse in the 6 hours he'll be with her). I'm quite pleased with the decision, and thanks again.
Let him be a dad, and care for his child. But to make it a little easier on him I would start weening now. There is no nutritional reason a child of that age needs to night feed, so help her to find other ways to sooth.
Leave her with Dad - he needs to do this to get over his anxiety for future situations. Whats the worst that can happy - he loses some sleep? Good luck on your boards.
Has your husband never gotten up with her at night -not once in 16 months?!?! I'm sorry -I'm just shocked. LEAVE HER! You'll be gone a day AND you have difficult and important boards to take! Your sentence ".....he's willing to do it because it doesn't make sense for me to take her." -WHAT? He never watches her on his own? There doesn't need to be a question here. He needs to be as willing and able ANYTIME to care for HIS daughter as you are! If you're nursing -pump it and leave it for him to put in a bottle. I would start feeding her breastmilk from a bottle over the next month or wean her all-together. Good luck!
I actually am going through something similar this week. I have to leave for 2 days to take a state exam, which is 8 hours away. My boyfriend is actually excited he gets our daughter (20 mo) all to himself. I have only ever been away from her for one day (my moms funeral) and because he was working his parents watched the baby. She is very attached to me. He's looking at this situation as a better chance to bond with her. He's already planned he's taking her out for pancakes, and to the park, etc.
I am just going to make sure the house is completely cleaned, all clothes are done, all dishes are done, and take out some meat to defrost. All he has to do is watch the baby and enjoy the time with her.
I would say leave her, tell him he will do fine. =)
I'd let hubby watch her. They will bond! His confidence will grow. Pump some milk before the trip. They'll be fine.
First, good luck on your boards and wishing you lots of energy and stamina to keep studying..
You can be rest assured that being separated from baby for less than 24 hours will do nothing to your already well established milk supply. Leave her with dad. Pick out a bottle. You don't eve need to pump or buy formula at 16 months. She can drink regular milk. When mom is away, most babies will naturally adjust, especially at that age. I nursed my last 2 children over 2 years each and traveled away for several days at at time. I thought for sure it would be instant weaning, but we just picked up where we left of when I came home.
Leave her at home. You have to leave her whether it is with strangers or your husband, so I choose husband. Depending whether you want to wean or not, this is an excellent opportunity. Just make sure that he has a bottle warmer (even if it is a sippy this will take some of the stress off him to turn it on, set the timer and go). This will help build some of his confidence as a dad too.
Leave her at home.
You need all your energy dedicated to focusing on your test and being successful.
At this point, the nursing is for soothing and not nutrition. Although the urge to nurse to soothe is strong, you're not depriving her of her meals so 2 days of no nursing might make her cranky but not malnourished. I definitely, honestly don't mean to sound crass, but if your boobs aren't around then she will find something else to soothe herself to sleep.
Besides, it is only one nighttime and your husband will be fine. He's right - it doesn't make any sense for you to take her.
Let dad be dad. He'll be just fine with her. He needs to bond with his daughter.
Why can't she stay with her father and why is he anxious about caring for his child? Start pumping for her and she should be fine.
Leave the baby at home with dad! Start working now on weaning her off the nighttime feeding. Try to comfort her some other way and help her to sleep through the night. They will be fine. You have a very important test to take-concentrate on that. Proper planning in advance will help you all get through this. good luck on your boards.
for me this would be easy. I would definately leave the baby with my husband rather than have to leave the child with a stranger. Even if he is not used to taking care of her he has to learn at some point? I assume that he is the baby's father?
You are going to take a very important exaime and I'm sure you will need the time to get prepared. I would work on weaning and pump plenty of milk.
Leave her. Concentrate on your boards.
I didn't read any of your responses but just wanted to let you know something. I used to work with a nanny agency in CA and was on the relief staff, or I worked for families that needed occasional care, rather than full time nanny care. Once I cared for a 18 month old who was traveling with her mom for similar reasons, ( she still nursed and her mom traveled for a few nights at a time for work). I thought it was a great idea, because the child was not away from her mother for longer than 4 hours or something, and still got all the mommy comfort she needed. Also, by going through an agency you know for sure that the nanny will be pre-screened and professionally trained etc. Hope this helps, i really don't think you need to wean her for this one trip, even if she stays home your milk will still be their when you get back. My daughter also nurses at nap and night, she is almost 2.
Leave them together, but see if you can recruit some help! Make sure you have plenty of expressed milk for them b/c he will probably over-feed her. At least that's what I did when I left my son with my husband overnight at 9 months to take my licensing exam! He was "in charge", but our neighbors and my in-laws were "on call" just in case. Honestly, they did really well together and now have a "boys only" night once a month when I have to travel.
I would definitely think that this would be a great time to start weaning her- especially if you are thinking of entering a field with demanding hours! Take the next month to wean her and then make sure to have everything "set". Don't take her... what are you going to do with her once you get there?
