Suspended from Daycare!!

I have never in my life heard of such a thing. I own a childcare and in all of my years doing this I have only had to suspend two children. One was a kindergarten child intentionally urinating all over another boy soaking his clothing (we do not stay in the bathroom for kindergarten children but right outside the restroom to allow privacy) The second was a child who after repeated conversations about violent outbursts,the child bit and hit a teacher. To me a three year old urinating, not having perfect aim, and being suspended is crazy to me. First of all most three year old children are learning how to use the potty, and how to aim. If he did it on purpose or to be funny then you should have received a phone call to discuss ways you can work with them on stopping him. As far as the tile coming up, my husband almost had to use a jack hammer to get up my bathroom tile when we remodeled my bathroom. I doubt a little urine a few times a day could ever loosen tile. I would never put a note in someones mailbox with such a strong message. I would have called the parents and asked for a meeting, and went from there. I think you should start looking for a new center, one with better communication policies in order and much more professional. Also, have you signed an expulsion policy stating reasons why your child could be asked to leave the school, or be suspended. If not then check you school policy handbook, it should clearly state reasons why a child could be asked to leave a center or suspended, I am sure urinating on the floor is not listed.

Why is your 3 yr old not being supervised in the restroom? I worked in a daycare (albeit was 10 yrs ago) and the three year old room's bathroom had the door open at all times and a teacher standing at the door. Let's face it, if you leave a 3 yr old unattended they WILL find some trouble to get into. If it isn't peeing on the walls then it's playing in the sinks, toilets whatever. My 3 yr old still needs help with clothing etc. If they KNOW that he has a tendency to get a little off track in the bathroom then all the more reason they should be vigilant about supervising him. Maybe it's just my opinion buy a 3 yr old doesn't need "privacy" just yet.

Sometimes it is better to just agree to the terms so that relationships can be pleasant. It doesn't sound like your son has been seriously poorly treated. I would work with him on the importance of cleanliness...he is only 3....so most important is his feeling liked at the school while he learns to be more careful.

Yikes. Any daycare that would "send a note home" instead of calling and discussing the matter with you; probably isn't a daycare you want your child in.

I think you need to talk to your husband as to what conversation they had with him and with your son. Then see what the director and teachers have said to your son. There are 2 problems here--your son making a mess at school and the school not communication very well with you. Seriously, if they are at the point of suspending him they could at least call if they don't catch you in person to tell you.

My son just turned 4 and I have told him to sit to pee at school (and sometimes at home too if he is tired or goofing around). Also, I have to supervise him in the bathroom and at school the teacher just stands outside the door. I don't think this is enough supervision for some preschoolers like my son. At home I have made my son wipe up any pee accidents with a Clorox wipe before washing his hands (sometimes I have to do it again later but it has cut down the accidents due to goofing around). Would the school go along with this if you sent some in?

My grandson S was potty trained and doing fine and I caught him "spraying" the side of the tub, the side of the sink, the floor, and why you ask was he doing this? He had discovered a new trick...He happily said "Look what I can do"...my linoleum curled up around the front of the toilet and my bathroom still gets the occasional urine smell when the weather is just the right temp.

So, he may have been bored, he may have just found a new trick. Practicing with cheerios is a tried and true teaching tool, as is drawing a very simple boat on about 1/4 of a sheet of toilet paper and telling them to sink the boat.

If I had talked to a parent and had not seen an improvement I might have terminated a child at that point. They had talked to your husband who did what? didn't talk to you, didn't work with your son, did he do anything to address their concerns? You said you didn't know about it and that's why I figured he didn't address it with you. If you are unhappy with your center then please find a different one, otherwise call and talk to the Director Monday morning or make an appointment and take time to visit with her. If your husband picks your children up every day then the messages she is sending may not be getting to you.

Finally, kids urinte, they find new things to do with it all the time, it's really not that big of a deal to suspend your child but maybe she just wanted to get someone's attention.

I would type up a document stating that in light of this matter you had to find another babysitter and also that they release you from paying anymore and have them sign it. I am sorry that you have to find another babysitter but sounds like they are absolutely wacko. I hope you kept that paper. You could actually sue them if they refuse. I am sure there is nothing in any paperwork you signed that was one of the conditions under which a child could get expelled. That is absolutely ridiculous. You will be much better off elsewhere. It is not worth even an argument. They are nuts.

Your son said he did not do it "this time"? If he does not do this at home why is it happening at school?

You said the letter stated that they have spoken to your husband about it before. Did you know about that? What happened? Did you talk with your son about it then? Did he admit to it and/or explain it?

What did your husband have to say about it? I would call the director or visit and talk to both her and the witnesses. Was your son in the bathroom at the time or was he just the last one noticed? Was he malicious or just had bad aim? What is the set-up? Do you have something at home (different stepstool?) that the daycare lacks?

Just a note that others haven't addressed. My son is now 9, he was potty trained by 12 months or so, he never peed on the walls of my home- or anyone else's for that matter- but in first grade started getting in trouble for making messes in the bathroom at school. My friend even told me once that he peed all over the pizza place bathroom when she took him there- and he was 7 by then. I have no idea what created it, and couldn't believe that if he didn't do this at home then he would do it at school. It has finally stopped this year- I am not sure why exactly, but he is finally starting to act at school, the way we require him to act at home. It has been very frustrating to Not see him do things at home that they say he does at school- and them expect me to fix something I dont' ever even see. i hope things get better for you- sooner than they did for me. I finally had to medicate my son- I hate it, but it's working

Wow! I am shocked how the daycare handled such a minor situation!! A letter in his backpack?? They couldn't even call you or talk to you face to face about it? I have run a daycare in our home for 5 years and I have never "suspended" a child but if I did, I would certainly discuss it with the parents first. It's like they are trying to punish you because they had to do a little extra cleaning in the bathroom. Are you and your sons happy with the daycare? If not, I would start looking for another one asap.

i agree, he's sending some message about school. i'd ask him if he likes it there.
and maybe have him pee sitting and pointing it down when you are at school or other peoples houses.

it seems to me that the daycare is the one with the problem. if the tile is coming up more then just your child is peeing in the floor or poorly laid tile. if it was me i would look in to other daycares. if your child doesnt do it at home the odds are he is not doing it there. accidents happen sometimes and thats ok but u have to wonder how the daycare come to blame your child. good luck

I would find out how many people were in the bathroom when this happened, was your son distracted by someone in the bath room. When my son was his age if you said anything to him while he was going to the bath room he would turn and we would have a mess on the walls and the floor. Maybe you should tell the daycare that when they take him to the bathroom you would prefer that only him and a teacher go, so that he would not have any distractions. It is very poorly of them to send a letter home with your child. On something like this they should pull you a side and talk to you. They should have also sent home something prior to this. I am sure that the tile is not coming up just from your son, what about when they mop, was the glue they used the right kind of glue? How long has the tile been down? I would point out to them that many different factors can play apart for while the tile is coming up.

B.!
I have owned my daycare for 18 years! PULL HIM OUT! If he is not having this problem at home? Is he REALLY doing that there at daycare? Ask him LOTS of questions! Are they nice to him? Is he in time out alot? Has he been acting any different at home?

I have also known people that should never have a daycare because they "worry more" for their things. That`s what it sounds like to me in your situation. I do not believe for 1 second the tiles are coming up because of this. I have a 3 year old here and he will ONCE IN A WHILE go on the back of the seat, floor etc. and I come out laughing and asking him how he got everything but the water. We LAUGH! And once in a while if I walk by when he is in there he will look away from the potty and start talking to me -while moving too! (which causes a mess) But I still laugh and clean it up! HE IS 3!! As I write this I am getting madder and madder! Ask your son questions from now on about how his day went! Don`t "put things in his head" but just ask him thinks like, who do you like the most at day care? Which teacher is nicer? Do you get in trouble? What funny things happened today?

Find a new daycare!
K.

I just re read the whole thing again...
If this has only been a problem for a week? A tile is not going to come up in a week.
Like I said-they do get distracted, and will make a mess, I`ve laughed and said to aim a little better next time. Is he happy there? Is your 5 yr. old happy?
Remember this...When you take him back, will you be at work wondering if they are being nice to him? If you do not want to take them out, you really need to have a face to face talk with them. I always communicate face to face. I also do a newsletter once a month and put a reminder in there the time I open and close.(Seems to be a problem every now and then for multiple-being later and later) And that always seems to work.(for a bit anyway haha)

sounds like your son may not like the daycare he is in right now. Talk to the provider and the director of the daycare.

That just sounds super crazy to me. If you must stay there, then you will probably need to just go through the motions to make them happy.
BUT, it seems like you should have a serious talk with your provider. It doesn't make sense that your child could be the sole reason for the tile being re done. That's just weird. Also, if you can move your kids to a different place, that might be the thing to do. Are you really going to feel the same about them from now on?
I'm sorry for your trouble. What a PITA.

I have heard this at other facilities. Is he following another childs behavior, this boys is doing this so I am too, at the moment it would seem fun. I had to tell my children 1000's of times that when they tell the truth you don't get in alot of trouble ,but when you do not tell the truth you do. I know when preschools have several kids with bathroom issues it puts them at risk for something going wrong when a staff member is frequently cleaning up after bathroom accidents. Its a liability issue.
You could go in with him one day and show him what he is and is not suppose to do. Then have the teachers reward him for the correct behavior or you can when he comes up after a good report. Good Luck

I see that this question is from two months ago, so hopefully everything is resolved. The one comment I needed to make, in case it helps someone else, is that I notice that our son behaves differently when using a urinal than using a toilet (I take him to the bathroom at his pre-school when I drop him off each day). It has never escalated to the situation that you're describing, but he definitely seems to have more "fun" with the urinal than he does on the toilet (either at home or at other places we've been). Just a thought on what could be one of the contributing factors...