Support for 4Th Pregnancy

I have 4 children as well(9 yr old daughter, 7 yr old son, 5 yr old son, and 4 yr old son). Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed but on the whole it's a good experiance. I wouldn't trade any of them. Plus it's a nice even number so no one feels left out. The older ones help out the younger ones. Then you always have school to look forward to. All but one of mine is in school now, so I have more free time for me now. Look at the positive aspects and things won't seem so bad. It's all worth it in the end.

I went through this very same thing. My 4th child was unplanned and we did proceed with permanent birth control. I can say that as much as I stressed over it everything worked out. Its nice that my other children were able to be somewhat self sufficient which helps a lot. You will also find that they will be very helpful. Be happy that you were blessed with another bundle of joy, take each day one at a time and you will do just fine.
Good Luck

My aunt's story- number 4 was for her, an IUD baby. I don't think she was too happy about it. That little girl became her shining light- a doctor- a fabulous mother and incredibly giving daughter. That daughter ended up taking care of her at home when she was dying of cancer. My aunt always told me in those last months that her daughter was the greatest gift of her life- and how could she have known when she was so disappointed that she was pregnant again? Just some food for thought.
Blessings for an easy pregnancy,
S.

Hi, I have 5. The things you learn as a mom of a bigger sized family are SOOOO cool. The story of our 4th:

When I found out I was pregnant with our 4th both my husband and I felt stretched pretty thin both emotionally and financially. How could we extend even more love to another child? My health was pretty bad during the pregnancy too. Bed rest is a difficult thing to endure with 3 little ones, plus we sold a house and moved twice before she was born...

But when she was born...oh my...our little Hope Katherine has been such a fountain of pure love in our family. She has done more to replenish our hearts than anything else could have. Both my husband and I sheepishly recall the worry we had when we got the pregnancy test back...what a waste of our time that worry was! Of course, we realized that afterwards...

Someone wise once told me that heavenly Father is highly supportive of families and that He will provide a way to bless you. If you are responsible and live within your means there is no reason why things cannot work out for your family.

Also, one of the blessings of a large family is that there is just no room or time for squabbling. Wise moms and dads research how to parent from the best parenting books and the kids become quite adept at considerate behavior from it.

Our oldest is now 10. Did you know it has been over 2 years since I folded a scratch of laundry? I only wash dishes twice a week. Our house stays fairly clean and orderly because the kids have all been trained and praised for their help. No one is oppressed or exploited.

A lot of people just dread the additional anger they have to shell out while raising a child. They know more cortisol in their systems will be very detrimental to their health. But it isn't necessary. There is a peacemaking way to raise children and it is SOOOO much more effective.

You can stay in great shape, you can become a better negotiator and parent with your kids, you will find a very successful large family community, you will gain insight and wisdom only a large family can teach you, and your husband and you will have the opportunity to learn to laugh a lot more. I don't blame your apprehension. It is a lot to take on if you don't feel ready for it, but there is fascinating literature available. Let me know if you want some good book titles.

Hi M.,

Boy, I can relate although my "surprise" was my 3rd child. I have had some medical issues and always said I would never have a child past the age of 30 and after our two girls were born, I was DONE!!! Well, God had another plan and, at 35, I got pregnant again with my son. I was shocked, overwhelmed, and so upset. Like you, I felt so blessed that my two girls were happy and healthy and I felt guilty that I was not thrilled with this new pregnancy. My son is now 11 years old and is the light of our lives. As much as I love having my girls and they have both become absolutely amazing young adults, my son has brought so much energy and joy to this family that we can't imagine what our lives would have been without him.

And, our story was still not over. Just over a year ago, my sister-in-law decided she was no longer interested in being a mother and abandoned her 3 children - so we now have 3 additional children in the house - ages 5, 11 & 16. So, after all of my plans to never have children after the age of 30, I will be a Kindergarten mom at the age of 47. As they say - We Plan, God Laughs!! My life is certainly not the way that I envisioned it and we certainly struggle with the financial and emotional drain of six kids but our days are full of the happiness and joy that only children can bring to your heart and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Dear M.,
As a mother of 4, my words to you are relax. It seems like alot right now, and you weren't really thinking about another child, but this child will be your one. Your child that keeps you young and vibrant, healthy and happier when the older ones are off on their own. I have a daughter 26, a son 23, a daughter 18 and my youngest is a boy, 13. I was often overwhelmed like you. It gets better. He is the only one home right now due to grad school, college and the oldest being out of state due to work, so we spend alot of time together. I have left him a few times in his lifetime and while he is very independent, I am glad for him. He has taught me so many things, he has a great heart for mankind, and is always looking for the good in people, and ways to help those left fortunate. My husband and I thank god for him every day. The other kids still treat him like a kid, but one day he is going to make them shine. He admires all his older siblings and looks up to them proudly. I guess what I am saying is they are only young ONCE, enjoy them and all their "activities", friends, individual characteristics etc. Because one day you will be like me, and remembering American Girl books being read out loud, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - their movies, Pokemon etc, and let's not forget Dora the Explorer, Barney, Teletubbies, and Strawberry Shortcake dolls. They will love their brother or sister, because the baby is a part of them, and a part of you and your husband. Enjoy the stay at home part, I know so many moms who have 4 and love it. Teenage years, I can't guarantee, because everyone is different, but you will be fine. I looked up to my aunt who had 3 boys, one girl, and never for a minute did I think she was anything but a mom. Now I realize she was a HERO. She worked in 60's full time, kept her house clean, had the boys in scouts, church, and baseball, while raising her little girl to be a princess. She is gone now, but my uncle and her had 50 years before she passed away. My husband and I are going on 27 years this August. Its tough sometimes, but children are such a joy. For me, 1 child to 2 was tough, so you have done a great job, you just don't realize it. 3-4 children, piece of cake. Everyone learns to share, and wait for his turn. Its great. God bless you and good luck with the kids. All of them.

I am the fifth of six kids and I know that the last three were all "surprises". Regardless of what other people think or say, your child feels special. Even though my family never had much money, I always felt loved and important.

Eleven days ago, I had my third child and feel fortunate to be in their lives. I feel like an exhausted "observer" who will miss them terribly when they follow their own paths.
Good luck to you; much energy and patience.

I'm a mom of five and they were all "surprises!" When I was pregnant with my third, I didn't know how I was going to cope since there would be more parents than kids and I actually went to counseling. Fortunately, my third child turned out to be just the kind of baby I needed him to be - quiet and easy going (that changed at about age 4, but I was ready to handle it by then.) After three, it doesn't really make any difference - having 4 and 5 children wasn't any harder than having 3 and the older kids were actually able to help some with the younger. All my kids from the age of about 2 on, took turns helping me cook dinner and do dishes too. This helped me and gave them some special time with Mom. The great thing about a big family is that kid's all have each other as a support system once they get over the fighting stage. I only have one girl and she is the oldest and she looks after her younger brothers now that the are mostly adults. She even reminds them of their parents and grandparents birthdays and is especially close to her brother who is in the Marines, making sure while he is deployed, he receives letters and packages from home.

After our second we decided we were through, but then surprise. I have been very blessed by my third child and realize after remarrying and inheriting another child, four are better than three. When it was just the three there was always someone left out. Four seemed to be a better number. They seemed to pair up and no one was left out in the cold. I hope your fourth is as much of a blessing as my third one was for me.
Melissa

Hi M.,

You are looking in the right place for support. I too have four children, but mine are not so close in age. Actually, mine are spread out over 16 years. Some think that this was more crazy than four close together. But, realize that it is your life and no one elses life...it is not their place to judge your decisions or choices. This baby was a surprise, but you wont be able to imagine life with out him/her in a year. Also, your 2 year old will love having a sibling close in age too. There are so many positives to your new addition. When people look at our family, they think that the younger two children were the surprises. But, they were not the surprises, it was our first two! Yes, we were both only 19 when our first one was born. Then, I was pregnant by her first birthday. I was planning on returning to college when my oldest was one, but that was not to be since I was pregnant with number 2 by then. But, looking back, I am glad that we had those two surprises and that they were so close in age! (I did return to college when #2 was 6 months old.) They grew up to be close siblings and love to spend time together now as adults. They were almost teenagers when we had #3 and both were teenagers when #4 was born. When our youngest was born, my oldest was 16. It was awesome to see her come home from high school and she would ask, can I get the (sleeping) baby out of her crib and just hold her? (You will have great heart touching stories like this too.) It was awesome to see that love that they all had/have for each other. I love it and would not want it to be any other way. You are going to love having a large family and your children will be excited too. Is it overwhelming at times, yes. But, it is definitely manageable! Just remember you cant do it all all the time. You might need to just let some things go until another day. And the finances, they will just work out.
I know that it is hard to change your focus on thinking that your family was complete with 3, and now learning that it is going to have 4 children. A family of 6 is a great thing to be part of, just remember that. I love having four children! My oldest, a daughter is 24, my son is 22 (19 months a part) then a 10.5 year gap another son...who is 12, then our baby..she is 7. I recently had a scare (at the age of 43)I was over 10 days late for my period! Yes, that was scary since I had such a difficult time physically with my last pregnancy...but, I was so late (i'm never late and I never skip my periods) that I started to think I might be again. I just waited it out and I finally got my period. But, for a few days, I thought I was pregnant. My husband said well we have a problem if you are....I am not sure what he meant by that because my period came a few days later. I dont know if he meant we had a problem because he has had a vasectomy or if the problem was we are getting older...I didnt even explore what he meant by that.

You are blessed that you get to stay home with your little ones. Things will all work out just fine for you and your family. Next year, when you look back on time, you will not be able to imagine life or your family with out your newest addition. It is very normal to feel overwhelmed and adding pregnancy hormones to the mix probably dont help at all. You can do it. Do not be hard on yourself or your husband for the birth control issue! Some of us are just fertile as can be...and it sounds like that is you too. Remember, it is a blessing...so many people have issues with fertility and would do any thing to be in your shoes. Just relax and enjoy this pregancy...you will have enough love to go around...it will be great!
T.

Hi M., you shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling over whelmed about a 4th child especially if it was not planned. A friend of mine who is 39 just had her 7th child last Novemebr, and was feeling the same way, but she is single, at least you have help, and thats a blessing too. You can look at this one of two ways, either a burden or a bonus baby from God. How does your husband feel? anddo your other kids know. I would think if you have this baby, you will get a lot of support from friends and family, and all ofus here at mama source. J.

4 is the best number of all!! I have 4, as does my best friend, a co-worker and one sibling. Welcome to the 4 club...I am so glad I have all of them and I have to say that I may have planned on only having 2, but God had different plans for my life and I would have missed out on the tremendous joy had it been left completely up to me. My last 2 are 18 months apart and are buddies...we call them "the twins"-they watch out for each other and keep each other company. Think of how lonely #3 would have been without #4 (one is a girl and one is a boy)!! Welcome to the Club...you are in for a world of joy and love and kisses!!

M., You sweet thing!! It is so normal to feel this way. My husband and I had three daughter's and he was scheduled for a Vasectomy in July of 2005, then on July 11th. I found out that I was pregnant with #4... Oh my, I cried for a week and then I felt angry and sad and asked God "why?" All of my pregnancies were palnned and we were always very careful, well, I guess not careful enough.

Now... We have a beautiful son, our only one and he is the completion of our family. I know it is so hard to accept at first, especially when you already have children and felt that you were done, but you will move out of this feeling and get excited.

Maybe this will help. My 4th. came to me this morning as I was laying in bed and laid his head on my shoulder and said, mama, wake up, I love you! I promise, when that baby gets here, you will be in heaven once again with a healthy and beautiful baby. I felt like, man, I was just getting to a no baby phase, my youngest when I found out I was pregnant had just turned 2 a week before and was getting more independant, etc. but now I look back and this two years of his life has flown by and we are in a great stage. Enjoy the pregnancy and infant stage as it flies by! This baby will give each family member someone to hug!!

Good luck & God bless you!!
W. :)

I was one of 4 and I LOVED it!!!! I think every pregnancy is overwhelming when you consider the huge change about to happen in your life, but I'm guessing you handle it just as well as you handle the first 3. My youngest sister is my absolute FAVORITE, and she was definitely "unplanned". Best of luck, and try to enjoy!

While I don't have 4 or more kids, I can sympathize. We always wanted two and had a boy and a girl - both healthy. We were done. And, then, when they were 10 & 7, I got pregnant. I too was overwhelmed at first. But, God has a plan, so I just embraced it and everything has a way of working out. She is almost 6 now and I can't imagine life without her. She keeps me young and brings me lots of joy. I have met many people and made many friends that I might not otherwise have without her. So, count your blessings and open your heart and embrace what God has planned for you! God Bless!

I know that you feel afraid and I believe you are bless to have so many children I had only two and now that I am in my 50 my husband and I both regret not having more children. I will be praying for you that all goes well and that the fear of the unknown will go away and I know it is easer said then done and I do not know if your beliefs put leave it in God's hands all will work out.

Hi, M.. First, congratulations! The best thing I can tell you is what my dad told me: it gets easier the more kids you have, and it is proporionately less expensive with each child. I have 8 kids (5 that I birthed) and it is true. My last was very unplanned (using 2 types of b.c.), but my son is the biggest joy and his brother's best friend.
As for the pregnancy, be as prepared as possible beforehand, involve the other kids and look forward to it - It's gonna be great! My parents (who raised 4 kids) said their only regret was not having more kids.
As a side note, if you are looking for extremely good, low maintenance birth control in the future, try the Mirena IUD. It is quick to have placed (a 5 minute deal, done on my 6-week follow up after the youngest's birth). Light, if any, periods, no pain, no maintenance, and 99.9% effective for women who've had kids.

Congratulations on baby #4...go girl:) I have 8 kids and find my strength in the GOOD GOOD Lord:) The nursing season passes by so fast so as dreadful as it may seem, talk to your baby and bond all you can now...as they grow, they don't need as much attention from us. Let hubby get in on the feeding...bottle/breast rotation doesn't hurt although baby has a preference for breast usually, but daddy feeding is very special time too.

I always used to say to people that ask-HOW DO YO DO IT????I say, "The more the easier!" My oldest is 24,23,22,18,17,17, 15 and the youngest is 10. I am very blessed that all of my children are beautiful, healthy and productive. I even have 3 grandchildren. God has a way of equipping us women to endure through the very tough times of mothering. If you have a husband...consider it all well. I raised 5 alone, then I remarried and had 2 step added to this clan and one more baby. It's hard but it's good. I encourage you to always, try to find a one day out of the month for "YOU"...then hook up with friends who can baby sit "More than one...like us?" SMILE and try to make time for hubby dates and keep up with rest and such and you'll do just fine.

Both my sister and my cousin have 4 and I could never imagine their lives or families without the fourth little soul. It is so much better than 3....I was raised with 3 and there is always an odd man out. Even numbers are the way to go. I know it is a shock...but a beautiful blessing as well.

Hi M....
I'm a mom of 5 with only 2 of them planned. I seemed to get pregnant no matter what kind of birth control I was on. It was hard when they were little but there was a lot of joy too. Now that they are all older, they are all best friends. When we all get together at my house I marvel that they are all best friends and cover each other's back. They don't always agree or get along but they always protect each other and support each other. It's turned out to be an incredible blessing. I ended up with a tubal after the 5th child because of my "fertility" issue and was finally able to relax and enjoy life. Good luck with your pregnancy. Don't stress. There is a reason why this is happening. You many not know it now but eventually you will figure it out.
S.

Hi M.,
Don't feel bad for how you're feeling. I have a 10 yo son, 7 yo son, 5 yo son and a 3 yo daughter. I cried sad tears when I was pregnant with #2 and found out it was a boy and not a girl and felt bad for that for a awhile.

While I can't offer advice on the way you're feeling about being pregnant again, but I can give you insight that 4 kids compared to 3 is not that different. It's just one more person to dress and feed and etc. Make your other chidlren as dependent as they are capapble of and realize that the child in your tummy is going to be the perfect addition to your family. Not sure if you believe in God or pray, but praying and relying on Him does indeed help.

There are moments I do feel overwhelmed, like when they are all talking to me at once or when two are fighthing and adding to the noise of the other two, or when I go shopping and it's constant conversation while I am trying to shop economically. Yes, my house isn't as tidy as I wish it was and the dishes go undone longer than I want them to sometimes, but in the end I always remember a few things:

1. I wanted four kids, so I have no room to complain here
2. The messy house, out of control laundry, etc is just that unfinished work that really can wait or get done when it can. When your gone from this earth or when your children move out on their own ... who is really going to remember the importance of the perfectly clean house ... what you'll all remember are the times you had together. Whether it be playing, reading or doing something fun - those will be the times they'll cherish the most!
3. When it's crazy, take a deep breath ... my husband often reminds me that I set the tone around here and the example.
4. Do your best to take some time out for yourself, even if it's doing the shopping alone or just with baby. After baby #4 was born I would make a point to shop at night alone or find a friend to watch the older 3 so I could shop with the infant who doesn't ask me to buy her anything.

I hope I've helped some. I'll be praying for you and hope that you will find peace in being pregnant again and welcoming another child into your family.

There is no reason to beat yourself up. Sometimes what was an accident ends up being a huge blessing. God will not give you more than you can handle. And look at the positives not the negatives. You and your family will only grow not only in size but in love. I wish you the best.
T.

Aloha, stop beating yourself up, many women would die to carry a child to full term. You are a blessed with having a feritle body, envy of others. I had a forth child, even older, and I did cry & feel depress and knew others thought I was not careful. Don't listen to bad thoughts, it will pass, it's part of expecting a child. Many mothers with a full nest feel overwhelm. Don't be ashame, even if you dont's feel it now, later you will have a balance, your little ones will love their new bro or sis. Even right now, my oldest son & wife are expecting next month their fourtth son, she felt lookdown on by people only thinging of the expense. You will have plenty of love for another little one, Don't be afraid to ASK for help! God blessing on you & husband & children, you'll get stronger mid-term. Congrad's Michellel C

I totally get it!! I cried a lot for the first 2 months. It was very hard for me to digest that after having my 3rd baby in Sept of 2006, and then finding out in Apr of 2007 I was pregnant with my 4th baby, it was all too overwhelming for me.

Honestly, besides my husband and my sister, I didn't tell anyone else until I was at least 4 or 5 months pregnant. Once I finally got it out there, I got so much support from my 2 best friends, and all of my co-workers. Of course, I also got the...'You need a TV' joke, which I knew I was going to get knowing how my friends are and I know it was all in fun. But I knew then that this baby had to be my last, I've had all c-sections, and this would be my 4th, so I knew my body couldn't handle another c-section.

I come from a big family, my parents adopted my oldest sister, then together had 3 boys and 2 girls. My mom comes from a 'HUGE' family, she's 1 out of 17 kids, and my dad is 1 out of 15 kids. She gave me a hard time about it at first only because she knew from experience how difficult it would be for me, but was and has been very supportive, she's also my babysitter which is so awesome!!

Today, I am enjoying all 4 of my children. I am not going to lie, it's been hard but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Babies are blessings and I cherish my blessings and am so thankful to be able to have them in my life. My best friend had to stop after 2 due to health risks and she kept reminding me that I was blessed to be able to have more and that really kept my spirits up the whole time.

I am currently raising a 7 1/2 young lady (who thinks she's 15), a 4 yr old little boy with an overactive imagination and who also has a way with the ladies (kinda scary!), a rambunctious and super bossy 1 year old little girl(she'll be 2 in SEP), and the sweetest and super quiet (unless he's hungry) 7 month old baby boy! I love them all and am blessed to have them!

Good Luck!! God works in mysterious ways, and it will be hard but it will be worth it!!

Phil 4:13...........I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

M.,
CONGRATS!!! I know you are feeling overwhelmed now... but it does get so much better. Your children are all at an age where they can help out and understand when you need a little rest.
I am a mommy of four fun and energetic boys. My oldest is four (yep... you read that right.) I have a three year old, two year old and you guessed it - one year old. Believe me, it is possible. I wouldn't have life any other way. I am busy, but I am so blessed to have all my boys. They are so much fun to be with and learn from.
My husband and I didn't plan for four boys at all. In fact, I was taking birth control with my last two when we got the news. You can imagine the shock! But, we moved on. We figured that God was doing something great with His plan. I do feel overwhelmed at times - but I look back at my hardest times and I'm still so very thankful. Life has taught me so much about myself with four little men around.
This too can be such a blessing for you. Be thankful in the small things. You do have older children that will be so helpful to you. Your 7 1/2 year old son can keep you grounded and logical. Your 4 year old can be such a little helper with small tasks when it comes to baby and your 2 year old, she too can help out and love on baby. It will all work out. Be strong.
If you ever need someone to chat with - please feel free to email me directly: ____@____.com
Congratulations again.
P.

Wow. I was there many years ago with my 5th child. I had just begun working part time and thought we were finished having children and I was finished being pregnant. We had just moved to a new area and I knew no one. I was afraid, unhappy and not sure about anything and angry at myself and everyone else. I knew I would not abort the baby and once I got over the anger, I was not so unhappy. It was a difficult time as I worked, had to find daycare for every one and had to get settled in our new home. I prayed a lot and really needed support from somewhere. All I can suggest is to get close to friends at church, the neighborhood or somewhere that you trust people and hopefully your husband is supportive also. Is he happy about the pregnancy? He may be just as nervous and disappointed. Talk to him about it and try very hard to be positive in front of your children. This child will be an amazing baby as you have so much wisdom and experience and your children will be a big help to you. Yes, it will be exhausting, but have a positive attitude and know that they grow up far too fast. They depend on you and love you and reflect what they see. God bless, and I know you will do well and you will be blessed in so many ways.

C.

Hi M.! I have never posted here before, but your question really spoke to me. I am the very lucky mother to 4 daughters. My fourth was a complete surprise and I was still nursing my 3rd when I found out I was pregnant. When I told my eldest daughter the news she asked, "What are we going to do?" and my husband was less than thrilled. Now she and my youngest daughter have a bond like I have never seen in sisters. My two youngest are best friends and my little one brings more joy to us than I could have ever imagined. Their current ages are 4 and a half, 7, 14, an 20. I know that i have a larger gap between children, but I assure you< 4 is a fabulous number!

Hi M.:

I went through the exact same thing last year. In June, I took a home pregnancy test and when it showed up positive, I cried. Needless to say, a few weeks later, I went in for my first ultrasound only to find out I wasn't having my 4th child. I was having my 4th and 5th children. Talk about a shock! Your worries and fears are normal. Everything will be just fine, trust me. As you know, it's always an adjustment when you add a new baby to the mix, but your family will adjust to the change. And after the baby arrives, you won't have time to worry anymore, LOL.

All joking aside, it is hard, but you take everything in stride. You may find that it brings your family closer together. It did for us. Because there's so many of us now, we really have to work together, but like I said, it's made us a stronger family.

And just some little things that have really helped us out..... we started buying diapers early. Every time I went to the grocery store, I picked up a pack. My babies are now 5 months old and I still haven't had to buy diapers yet! And we tried to get everything that we could early. It has really saved us in these first few months. Just take it easy and don't worry about it too much. Everything will work out, have faith. Congrats and take care.

Hi M.,
I can sympathize with how you're feeling. I'm a momma to five kids and we stopped at three!!! Our first two had Strawberry Shortcake and Ninja Turtles--in the 80's and they're back again with my 5 year old, except he's not into strawberry shortcake :-)
It was a shock with our fourth pregnancy too, except my youngest was 4 at the time and my other two were older than yours. Our fifth pregnancy was a bigger shock because our daughter was TEN years old and the oldest was 22. Talk about an adjustment-we didn't have any baby things left. I felt guilty about my family throwing me a baby shower!! I think the only thing that saved my husband's sanity was that our last child was a boy.
Please don't beat yourself up about this new life. God does not make mistakes-ever. I am so blessed by all of my children. They are amazing and wonderful (pains in the tush--did I say that??? whoops) gifts from a God who loves me and trusts me enough to take care of His children.
Good luck to you!!
T.
Momma of a girl-28, boy-23,girl-20, girl-15 and boy-5, and a brand new Momma-in-law to another boy!

Me too! Same story! I'm now almost 7 months pregnant with my surprise fourth and things are definitely more positive now. The first couple of months had lots of tears (worried, overwhelmed, exhausted, fear...) I too beat myself up and felt weird about the whole thing. A big family isn't always appreciated by society. But, I'm over it! This couldn't be a bigger blessing that I NEVER would have imagined. Somehow, things always work out (even when you're short on room and energy). You have all that you need to care for this new little one! You! I imagine it all to be part of the bigger plan that is such a mystery and is very exciting. Happy fourth!!
J.

My sister had 4 kids and made it through okay. The first two years will be the hardest, after that, it's (almost) smooth sailing. She seriously thought it didn't feel much different with the 4th addition!!

The blessings are many----what I'd do for 4 kids!! 4 children at holidays, to play ball with, board games, read to, love...... You have your very own party!! My sister's kids have a wonderful bond (all grown up) and socialize together with their spouses and families. What a blessing that is to them!!! Try to relax and enjoy this one---instead of focusing on the "if only's" which are so natural, focus on the good stuff. Try to be careful to not overload the oldest with being your "helper". (My sister did do that, unfortunately!)God gave you this baby for a reason, enjoy it!

I have 5 kids. My advice is to get as much sleep as you can, and then involve your older kids in preparing for a new baby. Their excitement and love for a new sibling will help you feel excited, too. As you realize that your efforts during pregnancy are something your other kids will love and respect you for, you'll see how this is a positive experience for your whole family.

dont be worried, it will all be fine, i am pregnant with my 5th and my oldest is only 6 years old. yeah when i first found out i was pregnant i did cry, i went to show my fiance the test result thinking he was going to panic, odd as it was he told me to stop crying that all will be fine and he was actually happy. i am just getting into my second trimester and so far everything is going well, the kids are being helpful...well except my youngest, she is only 13 months old and is in that phase where she thinks she can do what she wants, lol. anywho...i look at it this way, if you think positively on the situation, everything will be just fine. by looking on the bright side, it will make everything feel so much better and in time your worries will vanish.

I have 4, all daughters too! Our fourth is a charm. The youngest is only 3 years old and can swing a golf club better than some adults I see out there. she loves the game. We heard it from so many people, "Haven't you guys heard of birth control? Wow... another one?"

It's like anything in life, you learn how to deal with it. This year we have all 4 in different schools: H.S., Jr. High, Elementary and Pre-K.

Again, I have 2 that start school in less than 2 weeks on a year round schedule with 2 on traditional. Not sure how we'll do it, but I'm sure we'll make it through the year.

You'll be fine. Just know that you'll be blessed with a beautiful child who'll give you much more happiness and that'll overpower your fear of how stressful it'll be to raise 4 children.

My MIL raised 7, and she had to immigrate to 2 different countries while walking her children with an infant in tow through the muds in Cambodia during the war in a single file with my FIL walking in the front of the line to take the risk of stepping on a land mine. When I'm stressed, I remind myself what my MIL went through with her children and feel so blessed we have life so easy.

I did learn some neat things from her: when one of our babies were crying non-stop in the car, she went into her purse and pulled out a small pc. of candy, broke it and popped it into the babies mouth and instant silence. Something she learned to do during the war to keep the little one quiet from enemy soldiers. WOW.

You'll be fine. =)

S.

Dear M.,
I very much know what you are going through!
My husband was in his first year of law school when I discovered that I was pregnant with our 4th baby. I too thought we were at the end or at least waiting to be out of law school. I was breast feeding baby #3 and taking birth control pills! I was raising the kids basically on my own because of the hours that my husband had to put in just to get by with adequate grades! All I could think was this baby must need to come to our home now because I sure wouldn't have planned it this way. Let me tell you our 4th child turned out to be the happiest, sweetest tempered child I could have ever asked for. Where there was tension in the home, she brought peace and a love that we needed desperately. She turned out to be a blessing that we didn't know we needed. I am so grateful that God knows my needs better than I do!
Don't despair, chin up and go forward and let this little one feel the reservoir of love that your family doesn't even know it has.
You have proved that you can do hard things.
You can do this too!
Good luck!
T.

I have been taking depo provera injections every 12 weeks since my kids turned one yrs old. They are fifteen now ;) Not wanting a chance at another set of twins..I wanted something reliable. A yr ago when I went in for my annual pap smear and renewal of depo rx I was told that new studies indicate you should not take the injection more than two yrs....good to know now that I was going a little over a decade. They recommended an IUD. It kinda freaked me out...a semi permanent "thing" inside me. But its not like the ones of yesteryear our moms had. It is SMALL! I cannot for the life of me remember the name..vitarra something like that. And its hormone releasing so it helps regulate periods. And...the great part...good for 5 yrs! Took about 5 min for insertion at the ob office...like a quick pelvic. went back in two weeks to make sure it was sitting ok. And I have been good to go for over a yr. Can't feel it....don't know its there...but I know...no more twins for me :) And my significant other..is super ocd about reading all literature...says this is one of the MOST effective forms of birth control out there right now...good luck!
S.
Mom of 16 yr old twin girls...on the two more yr plan ;)

I really don't know how you feel. I believe that any child is worth raising no matter how many you have. I have 8 children of my own. I have raised half who are already out of the home, and I have 4 more I am still raising.

In this economy, raising children may be scary. Feel lucky that all of your children are healthy and happy. You will do fine since you are already raising 3 other children. You may even notice that the children will want to help with the newborn. Let them know you are having another one. Let them be a part of the pregnancy. They will be willing to help in any way.

J.

I have 5 children, 21, 19, 16, 12 and 19 months. I have to say when I had my last I was a bit scared being 42 and all....but i must say she has brought so much joy to all of us I am so glad we created her.....it is a scarey thought to have another and I remember feeling that way with number 4 but when that little baby comes all those feelings leave and you could not imagine live without them.....what a blessing! CONGRATULATIONS!
Huggs
D.

We are trying for number 3 and I think 4 sounds perfect, although I don't think we'll get that far. LOL

Things will work out, they always do!

Enjoy your pregnancy!!
M.

Hi M.,
Having four children is no doubt a huge challenge. I have only two small children myself so far but I come from a family of four sisters. I have one older sister and three younger sisters, no brothers. It sure was hard and we were a bit poor but found that God truly blessed us and provided for us. Our family put our trust in Him and He never disappointed. I love all of my sisters and I have a great relationship with them all. I'm so glad we come from a big family. Family functions are always so much fun and exciting, especially now that my two little ones have 8 cousins (on my side alone) to play with! And, as my parents are starting to age, they are grateful to have all of us to support them so that it isn't left on a couple to share the cost. Most people don't think about that part of it, but it is a big deal when you get older to wonder how you will be cared for. My husband has two sisters and no brothers and his sisters only have one or two children. Even though they are close, there is an obvious difference when the size is so small. Like you said, children are blessings. You can do it! You'll be glad when they are older. As you know, time really does go back fast. Enjoy each of them!
A.

I hesitated to respond because I don't have 4 or more of my own, but I want to offer encouragement. I am #4 (with 3 more after me) in my family and I love my big family and my place in my family. My mom says it doesn't matter how many kids you have after 3. I don't believe her :) I have 2 of my own and they are more than enough for me, but I have heard similar things from other moms. None of my mom's kids were "planned" but #7 was the biggest surprise of all. She was 42, us older kids were growing up and moving out of the house, and they were just getting ready for "permanent" birth control. #7 just turned 18 a couple of months ago and graduated from high school. He is such a treasure and a blessing to our family, especially to my mom. He loves hanging out with her and she loves the company. I can't imagine what our lives would be like without him, and I don't want to! And I have heard so many stories from other moms about the "unplanned blessing" and what a treasure that child is for the family. I can imagine how overwhelmed you feel, but this little one will come along, hopefully the older kids can help you a bit, and soon you won't remember the anxiety or worry, or remember your family without the newest addition. God bless you and your family!

Girl, I feel you ... but, get over it, as it gets easier-- I PROMISE! I was a 38 yr old SAHM with a 9 Yr old DD, 4 YR B/G Twinz, and then surprise --- that last one -- who is my darling baby boy (now 4). At first, I was devastated! So mad at my husband bkz we, too were in the middle of more 'permanent' birth control...HIM. He was to get the big 'V'. Well, he chickened out ... yet again! I'm the one who had two ectopics (one that ruptured, so I only have one fallopian tube and STILL got prego with my twins!!!) ...anyway, my mother gave me much grief (my dad was totally fine)and all my other relatives who only have 1, 2 or 3 children ate me alive. So I'm defintely not going to give you grief. Enjoy it. Relish in it and enjoy your little big blessing that is on the way. For me as a Christian, prayer and looking to God to sustain/support us was all I could do until everyone turned around and saw what a blessing this was. Am I overwhelmed on some days ... YES, as I now have a 13 year old, 8 year olds, and the 4 year old who thinks he's 13! But, you'll discover all the joys and heartbreaks of being a mom of FOUR...think of those who have 6? I don't know how they do it. But, take each day at a time, and hook up with Kathy Peel's Family Manager in Laguna. She'll come down and help you out with running the family (now that there's more) and you can take off running from there. Believe me, it gets better. Stay encouraged and keep the faith. God doesn't put any more on you than you can bear.
L.
Santa Ana, CA
A Pastor's Wife, Mother of 4, and P/T OTHM

Though I have adopted all my children, I can relate. We have 4...10yo DD, 9 yo DD, 22m DD, and 19m DS. I can say there are days I feel overwhelmed and too busy. But I love this ...Enough that my DH and I are hoping #5 comes home soon. Best advice...Just breath and have faith. There is a reason for everything. Best wishes. Give yourself some time.

B.

What a blessing! Yes, I too have 4 children and at first I thought I wouldn't be able to manage, since in my case my husband is the stay at home dad and I'm a high school teacher. Because you never know what can happen with babysitters and daycares, our children have always been taken care of at home. My mom used to do it but got very ill and recently passed away. Luckily my husband didn't mind staying at home. Let me just tell you that where you're feeding 5, you can feed 6 (including yourself and husband). Sweetie, God will provide. Just accept your blessing and He will be with you every step of the way. A child is a special little person that stemmed from you and your husband's love. How can you reject this? Most people think that "it was a mistake" but how can God send us a "mistake" that was created in His image. Trust in Him, and you'll be fine. Take care, and don't stress about it. Once the years pass and this last child is, say 6, you'll even want to get pregnant again. I do! My baby daughter is 6 years old. I tied my tubes on the day I gave birth to her. Children grow so fast, though, that I wish I could have just one more baby. So enjoy the blessing of being able to reproduce still, and enjoy your new baby. Stop worrying!! Be happy :-)

I feel your pain. I just had my fourth child(boy) four months ago. He was a surprise. My oldest is now six(boy), I have a four year old(boy) and a 21 month old(girl). I was bitter about this for most of the pregnancy. We were done after three and my husband was scheduled for a vasectomy when I found out I was pregnant. Even though I love my new baby very much, it is alot of work. However, my kids love him and it is so sweet to see how they are together and I know that the first few years will be tough, then it is just going to be so much fun. Just think what all the holidays will be like around your house and your kids will always have someone around to play with. Good luck.
P.

How EXCITING!!!!! Ü
My oldest was just a couple weeks shy of his 5th bday when my twins (#4 & #5) were born. Ya I had 5 under 5 for a couple weeks but after #3 it's just a matter of logistics and setting a routine. In the beginning just take things one day at a time until you get the routine in place and always remember if something doesnt get done today it will be there to get done tomorrow. Don't stress out on the small stuff.

I also belong to another online group for moms of many young syblings (momys.com)you might want to check out. To be an active member you need to have 4 or m ore kids within an 8 year period.(Yes you will qualify!!!) It is a place for encouragement, help, support, and lots of prayer. Ü It's a great place.

Hope I have been a little bit of encouragement to you and if you have any questions feel free to contact me.

Congratulations on your new little one! Ü

RaeB

Congratulations! Surprise babies must be one of the most fun adventures a couple can have! In a week or so your baby's heart will start beating and he or she (?!) will begin to develop and form all their vital organs and "parts" that he/she will need for the rest of their lives. You'll have 8 or so months to prepare for this baby, read books on home management and organization if you are so inclined, talk to other moms about logitstics with a newborn and 3 small children, and talk to your husband about all these things. One practical tip: my 4th baby came when my oldest was 7 and I showed her how to start the washing machine and dryer! My 2nd child, 5 at the time, was taught how to wipe the table and sweep the kitchen floor. I also stocked my freezer with lots of frozen, quick prep meals for about two months and asked for childcare help from all my friends and family. People were very kind and generous. Now I'm expecting my 6th and can't wait, even though I was "definitely done" after my 4th. Ahh...the adventure of parenthood!