Has Anyone Had a Surprise 4Th Pregnancy and Felt Shocked and Scared?

Yikes, what a shock! I just read an article that said that moms with 4 kids were happier than those with 3 kids . . . not sure that I buy it (probably written by a mom with 4 kids!) but still, people believe that 4 is a great number! Obviously it is what God had planned for your family :).

As a mom with 6 kids, 4 seems totally doable and I will say that while 4 may not be the "perfect" number, I will say that my life as a mom was easier when I had an even number of kids (2, 4, 6) than when I had an odd number (3, 5), except when I just had one. Looking back, THAT was a piece of cake . . .

Good luck and congrats!!!

Not sure if this will help or not, but I would LOVE to be in your shoes! To be 35 with a healthy husband and a 4th child on the way! One more person to love like crazy for the rest of your life! Congratulations:) p.s. I have one awesome, perfect son but I am the last of 4 kids. My parents saved the best for last;)

I can definitely see being scared and overwhelmed about a 4th child (especially if I wasn't already hoping for #4). At least you have 9 months to prepare your heart and your mind. You can do this!

Definitely don't worry about your age. Many of us didn't even start having kids until we were 35 (I was 34). As long as you get prenatal care, 35 really isn't considered old.

My husband needs a vasectomy! Your story is one more reason to make sure that you go BACK and get checked!! ACK! I have three and would be really upset if I got pregnant with a fourth. I feel your fear mama!
Here's what I will say though. I am one of 5. I can't imagine my life any other way. While I do think my PARENTS did not do a good job of taking on the responsibility of 5 (I babysat a LOT) I couldn't imagine my life without my 4 brothers. (Well...one of them...he's a jerk) When we all get together and really get going it's a laugh out loud party. And it doesn't feel like there's a lot of us....even though I know there is. Does that make sense?
If you believe that everything will be ok and God has got you, then you will be.
Good luck to you,

I was surprised with my third at 37. I freaked out! Then I found out it was twins! I almost quit my job right there. Then I had the 'vanishing twin syndrome' and only one baby came of this pregnancy. Bottom line? Unexpected pregnancies are cause of stress, but unexpected twin pregnancies cause even more stress! Lol! Btw, Congratulations!! Soon you will not be able to imagine life without your forth! I think my family wouldn't be complete without my surprise third :)

None of mine were surprises so can't relate to that part and I was well older than you with my last - I was just a bit slower is all :)

My sister has a large family and her last was a total surprise. That child was doted on by all her older siblings and has gone on to be very successful. They just adjusted, as you do.

I am the youngest of a large family. It was wonderful. I am very close with my siblings.

My husband was told to not have unprotected sex for at least 3 months until he could go back and get checked. That's really unfortunate they didn't advise him better.

Congratulations - you're a pro having already had 3!

I remember being in your shoes when I got pregnant with my 4th. What can I say? It does get better. Be kind to yourself. Your other children will be old enough to help you, our boys were about the same ages as yours when our daughter was born, and I gave them each a job according to their skill set :) The oldest one could hold her if I needed to cook or use the bathroom. The 2nd oldest could always make her laugh, or on the flip side, keep his younger brother occupied for a few minutes. The youngest brother (only 2 at the time she was born) was my "fetcher" - he knew where all the diapers, wipes, blankets, baby clothes, etc... were and could fetch them whenever I needed him to. The one thing we found out was that although we had a hard time adjusting to three children, adjusting to four was a breeze. The shock wears off, the fear subsides, the worry will dissipate. It really will be ok :)

Congrats! I'm sure you're in shock, but that will subside. I had my first at 36 and another at 40. I can tell you I'm a much better parent at this time in my life.

I hope you will soon feel joy in the place of anxiety. My friends who have more than 2 say 4 was better than 3. I can't speak to that personally, but I am confident you will be a wonderful mom to your unexpected blessing. I have several friends who've had unexpected blessings and hands down they are so happy and can't imagine life without them once they wrap their head around it.

Take good care of yourself and rest when you can. Accept help and know you're in good company here among the many moms with bigger families. 💕

Yes, thank you and we realized this however never imagined after 1 evening of not using backup contraceptive that this might happen. With my first, I had to have IUI to get pregnant.
Love hearing you enjoy being 1 of 4 kids. I am praying this will be the case for my kids.

Well, we have four kids...7, 5, almost 3 and ten months. I was your age when I had my FIRST, and 41 when I delivered our fourth. None of the four were surprises, but I can tell you we are so happy and thank G-d everyday for our blessings. I think you'll love having four!

My second brother, who is 12 years younger than me, was a shock to our mother. The benefit for you is that your kids are much younger than my mom's older kids were, so it won't be a total disruption from the norm.

The "he didn't go back for the sample test" story is super common. Lots of babies are born that way, despite the doctors telling men to abstain from sex or to use condoms and spermicide until after the sample test gives the all-clear.

does it have to be a 4th?
i got surprised with a 3rd pregnancy in my 40s. we were rocked off our foundations, and considered all options. we settled on being excited at this sudden but ultimately welcome change in our family status, and then lost it.
if your stance is 'god is in control' and that you have no choice in the matter, then it behooves you to take charge of your emotions and guide your family into a positive state of expectation, doesn't it?
khairete
S.

My 3rd pregnancy was a shock and turned into a double shock as I was pregnant with twins. I cried for weeks because I was so upset over the logistics of trying to figure out how I could manage 4 children with the oldest being only 5. Once I resigned myself to the fact that there really isn't any planning with 4 small ones at home and I'd be basically just doing my best to keep everyone alive and well things got better.

So take a deep breath and know that you can do this. It isn't what you planned but sometimes unplanned things turn out to be the most fun.

Many of the comments below, including mamazita's, aim to remind you to not be too quick to dismiss the fact that you and your husband - in your earthly, mortal, but also logical minds - had decided that your three-child family was "complete". Think about WHY you decided that. Financial concerns? A small house? Other reasons?

After making that decision, you and your husband are now saying that you "have to believe God is in control" - you are allowing God to overrule your logical decisions. So, I would sincerely advise you to look to God for the encouragement you seek. Because chances are good that other mortal earthly people - especially anyone who knows you personally, if they are aware of your reasons for considering three children to be enough - will agree with your previous mortal earthly decision!

My mom had me at 41. I was a surprise, too. I think my mom went through the "Oh, my gosh, I'm too old," thing as well, but in the end I think she was just glad she wasn't! Let your baby keep you young, and don't let anybody worry you about your age. Mom had two jerk doctors trying to tell her she was too old and just needed to get an abortion. She ignored both of them, and both she and I are healthy and happy today. So don't listen to naysayers, and just focus on that magic moment when you will hold that precious child for the first time. Surprise or not, every baby is a gift. You thought you were through, but God had a purpose in giving you another precious person!

Updated

My mom had me at 41. I was a surprise, too. I think my mom went through the "Oh, my gosh, I'm too old," thing as well, but in the end I think she was just glad she wasn't! Let your baby keep you young, and don't let anybody worry you about your age. Mom had two jerk doctors trying to tell her she was too old and just needed to get an abortion. She ignored both of them, and both she and I are healthy and happy today. So don't listen to naysayers, and just focus on that magic moment when you will hold that precious child for the first time. Surprise or not, every baby is a gift. You thought you were through, but God had a purpose in giving you another precious person!

Amusement park rides are two to a seat
Dining room sets come with six chairs
No one is ever odd man out

Congratulations. Embrace this wonderful gift you have been given. I have four kids!

I'm pretty sure everyone who's had a surprise 4th pregnancy has felt shocked and scared.
We just had one but I was 36 at the time - your age isn't a problem.
If it's any consolation - some people want and have very large families - much larger than yours - and they survive.
My best friend came from a family of 14.
You can do this!
It'll get better once the shock wears off.
I just hope Hubby doesn't blame all this on you.
His last shot apparently still had some live ammo.