Moms I need a little support and advice on deciding to tie the tubes or not. I have had two difficult pregnancies and was set on having my tubes tied until about a week ago when I looked at the calendar and realized how quickly the birth of our second child was coming and got emotional. With our first pregnancy I was hospitalized at 23 weeks and had a 30 week preemie and everything that comes with it: Breathing problems (still to this day), feeding problems, NICU (very scary place for anyone who has been there) and delays. With this second pregnancy I had a cerclage placed at 14 weeks, went on bedrest at 16 weeks, and have been on hormones since 17 weeks. It has been really hard on my family as I was a mom who did almost everything for both my husband and our 3 year old. It has also been very hard for me mentally and physically to lay for monthes on end. If we decided to have another child I would have to go through the same thing again as we have talked to the doctor about it in making the decision to tie or not. I always wanted only two children but I guess I just feel so young (almost 29) that I just am finding it hard to say the I am done having children. Anyone go through somehting similar? Is it just emotions about this pregnancy coming to an end? Thanks in advance!
I would recommend considering an IUD. They are as effective as a tubal at preventing pregnancy but also reversible. They are long term (either 5 years or 12 years) and should you decide you want to have your tubes tied it is easy to take out and have the surgery. Pregnancy is an emotional time to make this decision. Best of luck.
I would wait until after the baby is born to decide. I had my tubes tied 6 months after my second daughter was born. My doctor wouldn't even consider doing it any sooner. I think you need to give yourself time, you are going through alot right now.
A.~
I had my tubes tied 2 years ago today after baby #3. With my first baby I was in and out of the hospital weeks at a time and at home on bedrest until we delivered at 35 weeks. The second time was a little better but I was still in and out of the hospital several times. It was very difficult for my husband and my 19 month old baby. I too was the one that did everything around the house. When deciding on #3 we went back and forth on the issue for 3 years before deciding to go again. I always said I was done having kids by the time I was 30. My son was born just after my 30th b-day. This pregnancy went much better though I was only in the hospital once about 11 weeks before I was due. My husband and I were sure that I was going to have my tubes tied. Then about a month before I was due I started having doubts because it was just so permanent. So I know how you feel. I wrote to the mamas on mamasource and many tried to change my mind and told me to just use IUDs. In the end I ended up tying my tubes because that was really what I wanted to do. I didn't want to be pregnant again and go through another c-section. I didn't want to be in and out of the hosiptal with another pregnancy. I didn't want to be pregnant again after 30. I decided that I was happy!
You have to do what is right for you! I wish you luck in your decision.
J.
I am not in your shoes and I cannot judge or advise from personal experience, however if I were I don't think I'd tie my tubes. Let your hubby do the job. It is way less invasive for him than you. And the risks are less. Plus, you are SO young! If you do this it is NOT 100% proof and you may still get pregnant. I know someone who did and believe it or not, she actually got pregnant with triplets!!! So just cause you plan things sometimes God has another plan. Thank God in her case, even though it was a bit complicated and a major shock, it worked out for them and she was thrilled in the end. But I will tell you, your childbearing life is not close to being over and you never know what life will bring. I know its hard putting yourself and others at risk and I'm not saying you want to have more so soon, but there are many women who have complicated pregnancies once or twice (have a close friend who had MAJORLY hard 2 pregnancies and 3rd was totally smooth, no complications at all) and then somehow your body gets better at it. Whatever you do be 1000% sure its what you want cause you won't be able to walk away without repurcussions either way. Hang in there. It can be so tough at times. I send my support and love in making a good choice for YOU, not anyone else. Ultimately you will have the answers.
Would your husband consider a vasectomy? It's less invasive, and even though it is surgery and all surgeries have their risks, it is considerably less risky than a tubal.
Hope all goes well the rest of your pregnancy. However, I think if you re-read what you have written, that almost gives you your answer. I think that after having endured such medical concerns with two pregnancies, that you would not want to risk any further medical issues. good luck.
I think this needs medical advice. I know some people have different experiences with each pregnancy, and I have no idea if this is predictable for you or not. But, IF doctors have reason to think your pregnancies will continue to be risky, and/or even get worse, it seems irresponsible to take that risk. The children you have will need their mom! And it's possible to conceive with IVF or reversal after a tubal if things change for you, or the medical advice changes, at some point. Again, though - I would have some discussions with a doctor and reproductive specialist that you trust and who will really sit down and talk with you and your husband.
Best wishes for an easy pregnancy and childbirth!
