Support and Advice

Dear M.,

At 22 you are not going to be an old mom if you wait to have another child until you finish school and get married. You don't say how old your little one is; but how close to have children is very individual.

This I can tell you with confidence; you will enjoy your children a lot more if you finish school (enjoy the fun times that go along with being in college) then enjoy planning a wedding and getting married. If you do, when you have your next baby you will have time and and have experienced enough of life to be able to really enjoy your precious little ones.

I have adopted 11 children and loved many more whom I cared for in foster care. My youngest child is 8 and five are still at home. I love being a Mom. In fact, I have done many other exciting things (nurse, hospital administrator, college professor, high school teacher to name a few) but the role I enjoy and appreciate the most is that of being a Mom to the most wonderful and exciting people I know.

I would encourage you to give yourself time. Enjoy the little one you have already and enjoy this time of your life without rushing to get to the next or do them (life stages) all at once.

Warm regards,
S.

You sound like me. I want all of my children by 30. You have more time. Just let live go its path and don;t forget about the big picture. You are with a man that you love and adore and you have one to start your family.

You and your huby are the only two that can decide when to have another. Also since your huby is having a med issue, depending what stage he is at, (and how he feels about having another child while going threw this.) Make cure that you to are on the same page. Finacle does play a small role in the children area. So does medical. You know your own sitiution better then anyone. No mater what way you go. Best of luck! And hope that your huby recovers quickly

I am 26 and have two kids. Though no one can really tell you when you should have another child and how they should be spaced apart. What I can tell you is financially it is hard my husband works full time and I am home with our children and have been trying to get my RN. I only have a litte left but it is hard enough trying to do that because of my husband's work schedule. I will be done in about two years, maybe less but that's because I can only go part time. If you are not already pregnant, finish school first. I it would make it much easier financially to do that first and get a job. Your only 22 you have plenty of time. You said your hubby has somehting to work through, I would get him through that before adding another child into the mix. We just make it with what we have but we don't have a house yet or things of those nature (those are my aspirations for us and our children) what are your dreams, what do you want? My kids are almost three years apart and I like that age range. I think 3-4 years is a good age range, even 3-5. I know that my middle brother and I are 3.5 years apart and he is one of my best friends. My youngest brother is almost 12 years younger than me so it does seem like sometimes that it is a kid and adult relationship but now that he is a teenager we can't relate to everything but somethings we can. The choice is ultimately yours and your hubby's but healthcare is a big thing. 1 out of every 7 kids statistically has no health coverage and kids can't go through life without it but don't get married for that reason. If you love eachother than do it but I hope it's not because you have a child and want another one. Whatever your decision is good luck and I hope whatever your hubby is going through that it gets better.

I am 36 with 16 mo. twins. I thank god that I waited until I was mature enough and financially secure enough to handle my little ones. It is VERY expensive having two, and I can't imagine not having heath insurance. We were at the ER last week for a concussion, and we'll be at the pediatrician on Monday for what I think is an ear infection. You don't want to be in a position where you refrain from going to the dr. b/c you don't want to spend the money - it is much too high risk! Also, it is very challenging to our relationship - having two - we are best friends and very much in love, but we no longer have any time for each other - I think that is where being financially secure is critical - b/c I can't imagine having that added stress on top of everything else. Just my 2 cents.... hope it helps :)

Hey there,

Best advice I can give you is to wait. You're young yet so there should be no rush. Especially if it involves children...if things don't go right, they're the ones that suffer. And having a second child does increase the stress considerably! And financially!!

Also someone needs stable health insurance. Accidents happen in the blink of an eye! Not to mention there have been nasty viruses going around this winter that have put kids I know in the hospital.

Forget the age thing. I'm 38 yrs. old and have a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old and am perfectly content. Alot of women are having kids in their thirty's because it takes about ten years to get yourself financially stable and muture enough to know what you want and who you want in your life. It's a long road ahead and you don't know what the future holds.

Good luck!

A. W.