Age Gap Between Children

I think it is totally up to you, but my kids are 16 months apart and are best friends. I love how close together they are!

I like 2 yrs apart. It is what me and my only sister are and what my hubby and his only brother are and its what all my kids are. Close in age, gives them friends for life and they are always gonna be in school together, which is way cool!

~Great advice about the "Okie-Dokie" socks BTW...I was trying to think of the brand and then you said it! :)

I'm a believer of whenever it happens, it's the right time ;-)
Congratulations! Enjoy her!

my kids are 15mo apart. Their ages are almost 3 years and 21 months.

It was very hard for the first year. i did not plan to have kids that close in age, but it happened. It seems like the work triples when you add a second kid. It was VERY hard for me and my husband to balence.

But.....now it is better but still hard. I am starting to see them play together...and I can see that they will be SUPER close growing up. They are interested in the same things, can do almost all the same things, and they feed off each other with things (learning numbers, singing songs, talking, etc). It is like having twins. As they grow older, and closer, I think I will EXTREMELY happy that they are so close.

All in all.....now I am glad that they are so close, but that first year was CHALLENGING!!!! And it is still tough.....But, I think it will really pay off in the future.

I say GO FOR IT....esp if you have issues ttc. It will be hard, but it will pay off.

You should give your body at least a year to recover, and then it is up to you. We were shooting for 2.5 years, but got 2 years, and I am really liking it. I think that they will be close enough to play together and have similar interests, but far enough apart to give each other space.

Preferably 2 to 3 years apart is ideal for the body to heal. However, when we are blessed with the gift of a little angel they come when they should.

Me and my sister are 1 1/2 year apart.

My husband and me have a 16 year old and a 20 month old. It wasn't for lack of trying but we figure everything works out how it should. We had our first when we both were 20. At the time my husband was a Business Analyst and me an Executive Secretary; so we were financially stable. We didn't start trying for another until she was 9 yrs of age. We went through 3 miscarriages and figured if it was meant to be it'll happen when it should. After my mom passed away in Sept 2007 we got pregnant in April 2008 and had our second baby girl in January 2009. We know it was a true blessing and gift to have our little angel. So we are both 36 with a 16 yr old and 20 month old. Of course we've always wanted three kids so when the time happens it happens.

In the end do what is best for you and your husband. Whatever time frame works best for you both is the perfect time and if it happens unexpectedly faster or longer than you wished it was meant to be. Children no matter when you have them are a blessing; love your little angel...cherish her and when the time is right you and your husband will welcome another angel with open arms.

Please let one be out of diapers. It will save you so much stress. I think 2.5 to 3 years is a good age gap

16 months apart was HARD (felt like twins at times) but the girls are such good friends (#1 just turned 3) and play and share together constantly. We are waiting longer before trying for #3. #1 became more helpful and independent ~2 and a half yrs, so that is my gauge now.

The second pregnancy was a bit tougher on my body since I wasn't fully recuperated after just 6 months. So that is another argument for waiting.

You know very well that no matter how much you plan or try, things happen on their own schedule, so be open about the age gap! It took us a few years to get prego too and after infertility problems, we were warned that your body may "fix" itself after being pregnant, but we didn't do any prevention after #1 and conceived #2 naturally sooner than expected!

I think that every age gap has its benefits and its challenges.
The closer they are in age, the more likely they are to be close and to play together growing up. The further apart they are in age, the more you get to concentrate on each of them individually.

As you've already experienced, mother nature has her own ideas on this anyway. For every person I know who experienced secondary infertility, I also know someone who had the 2nd one come unexpectedly early.

Our first two kids there is 4 yrs and 2 mo between them. Between our second and third child it was 2 yrs and 2 mo. It was a great gap for us.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!

My boys are 22 months apart. We were going to space them about 3 years, but number 2 came a little unexpectedly. Honestly, the first year was a blur because I went back to work full time when the baby was only 10 weeks and he was not a good sleeper until he was about 9 months old. However, now they are 3 and 5 years old and it's great. I'm actually glad they are only 2 years apart vs. 3. They will be in the same elementary school together for a longer period of time and I just think they have more fun together being closer in age. They do have their moments where they don't get along, but for the most part I think they will grow up to have a close relationship because they are closer in age.

I really don't think it matters very much in the big scheme of things. I was 2 years apart from my sister, and we were never close, had different interests, were not playmates and drove my mom crazy. I like her fine now (haha), but we couldn't be more different... but we are older now and can appreciate our differences, but as a kid... well, kids just don't get that (and now, our age difference wouldn't even matter anyway)!! I couldn't imagine having two in diapers at the same time. The idea of it freaked me out. I don't know how people do it! haha! My kids will be just about 5 years apart... and my oldest is super excited... she just started school and will be a wonderful big sister, and I will get a lot of time with the baby while she is off doing her own school aged things. There are benefits and draw backs either way you look at it.... but you can't guarantee that they will be playmates if they are closer in age. Just go with what you feel comfortable with, not with what you think would be best for your child, because you just have no idea how that is really going to shake out anyway. I KNEW that two little kids at the same time would have overwhelmed me in ways I didn't want and was not ready for! Congrats on your little one!!

Everyone is different. There are 5yrs between my daughter and son. Unique circumstances for the reasoning behind it, but they're great together. My daughter is a natural leader (sometimes bossy) and loves to help me 'take care' of her little brother.

Other people love the year or two age gap because they can be playmates. But I know plenty of people that are only a yr or two apart and don't get along at all, even as adults. I also know that my hubby and his brother (4yrs apart) don't get along and really never have either.

It's more your preferance really... It's about getting done and over with diapers all at once or having a few years between diapers really.

And finally congrats on your little girl!!!

EDIT TO ADD: To Sheri- I am a woman that's never had a miscarriage.

My girls are 6 years apart and it is working out well for us. The older one is a fantastic helper, she has her own activities, and she's verbal enough to tell us when she's feeling left out/jealous with the attention the baby gets. It definitely wasn't my plan to have my kids that far apart and I am concerned about finding family activities they'll both enjoy as they get older, though. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to every age span and a lot of it is out of our control, honestly! I haven't used birth control in 9+ years and I've been pregnant exactly once (we adopted our younger daughter earlier this year), but I know several friends who have had surprise third pregnancies after having great difficulty conceiving their first two. As you said in your post, give yourselves some time to enjoy your precious daughter and you will figure things out no matter how far apart your kids are in age.

The World Health Organization recommends between 2-3 years between children. Pregnancy is very difficult on your body, and it takes you that long to be the optimal enviornment for a baby again. Also, your baby needs you to provide for his needs in a much more dedicated way until then-- you don't want to have to push your dd off your lap so the next one can come.

I don't think there is one right answer. I would probably not hinder conception and accept whatever happens. Be thankful that you were finally able to conceive, and pray that you can again. But, don't take for granted that you will immediately. You may never conceive again. Or, it could be that you might now, but wouldn't later. We cannot control these things although we think we do (I'm sure you know that full well since you couldn't for 3 years!). Congrats on your daughter.

I have five sons and their age gaps range from 18 months apart to 3 1/2 years. We never really thought much about the distance between each child. Our main consideration was our physical and emotional health. Because of this whenever our children have come the age gap has worked for us because we are ready to have that child and work him into our family.

This has afforded us flexibility in our family planning.

I think its good to have kids close together so that they have more in common. It also gets the whole diaper thing over sooner. Since it took you that long to conceive I would not use any contraception methods. If you try to time it, it rarely works out like you plan - remember God is in charge, not you when it comes to everything. It is so common to have a miscarriage and that would throw off your whole plan. I can not honestly think of one woman I know that has not miscarried at some time in her life. Just relax about it and enjoy your new blessing. It is way more fun to have sex without an objective, especially for your husband who was probably burned out from the pressure.